A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi allMy boyfriend has told me that he might leave me if i get another tattoo, piercing or modify my body in any way. We have been together for 5 years and i love him dearly. He is very sweet and kind and i do value his opinion on body modification. I was 15 years old when i met him and then all i had was my ears pierced like everyone does. Now i am 20 years old and since then i have 2 tattoos one on my lower back and a large one on my shoulder, i have had my tounge pierced and my lip pierced but i want more. I also love dying my hair weird colours and being a proper "rock chic". he doesnt mind me dying my hair because it washes out. He hated me getting the piercings but the urge was too strong and i had to get them done. I would say that i am quite quirky and love things like that. I have tried talking to him about it telling him that i am older now and i dont need my parents permission and i have developed new interests and have grown up a lot since i was 15. I love my boyfriend lots and i dont think it would be worth losing him for the sake of a tattoo or piercing. He has gradually accepted the ones i have but i am scared that if i go ahead and get more he will leave me. People have said that its my body and can do what i want but im scared of loosing him. I could go without the tattoos but really want another one. Should i sit down and talk to him about it again ? Is it really worth the risk ? Thanks for reading x x
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female
reader, soconfusedhelp  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 wow. DUMP him!!! he should love you for who you are and stand by you no matter what? im a 16 year old girl, and personally, if someone didnt like my piercings(chest, ring finger, ears, sides of the neck) id say SCREW THEM im happy with my body. i also want to get tattoos. if he cant accept you for who you are/who you want to be, then he obviously doesnt diserve someone as awsome and as amazing as you.
and tell him that. or start complaining about him so he knows how it feels. tell him(this is just an example) if he doesnt start shaving his junk or brushing his teeth more often or just something random, that youre dumping him. i really feel for you and this made me really mad.
i hope i helped!
sorry if i didnt! :/
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): ...just want to point this out, the previous poster said that her boyfriend knew she was into this stuff, but when they met, the original poster only had her ears pierced - so how could the guy know beforehand?
My opinion? Don't risk a good relationship over something stupid and trashy like body ink - by the time you reach 40+, you'll regret some of the things you've already done to your body.
Remember, tattoos are permanent.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 October 2010):
To me, you two sound like you have little in common. And he sounds like he's taking all this way too seriously since he already knew that you were a rock chick. It had to be said that to some men, piercings and tattoos are off-putting. I myself can't say I'm keen on tattoos, but at the same time I don't think it's fair to measure a woman solely on tattoos or piercings.
Your boyfriend is basically controlling you, and that's not fair. When he met you, he knew you were into dying your hair, piercings and tattoos, so to now turn around and be terribly unhappy about it is a bit pathetic really.
My suggestion is that you go ahead and get the tattoo, and tell him you're getting it beforehand. If it is that you lose him, then he's just not the guy you're looking for. I actually think you might well be better off finding a rock guy of your own so you both have something like tattoos and piercings in common.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): Hi there!
mmm interesting! For me, I dont mind a little tiny well placed tattoo somewhere or one piercing in a nice spot ;)...however too many put me off and I become unattracted as, with respect, it just looks kinda trashy.
Keep in mind the stigmas and norms of what piercings and tattoos can perceive a person as. Which is sad and ur bf may be scared of this. Im sure he cares about your appearance and wants you to look good and feel good. I would def sit him down and see if some sort of compromise could be made here so that no one ends up controlling the other. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (12 October 2010):
 You have to decide which is more important to you. Whether or not you get a tattoo or a piercing is not his choice - it's your body, and your life. But the flip side of that coin is, whether or not he stays with you afterwards is not your choice.
When he says, "Don't get a tattoo," what he means is "I like you and want to be with you, but those things will convince me to leave."
To quality guys, tattoos and piercings are trashy and a major turnoff. You just have to decide if that's worth it; as long as you can be honest with yourself about the choice and its consequences, more power to you.
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A
female
reader, TruckerChic +, writes (12 October 2010):
I'm a 26yo woman with seven tattoos on my arms and would be the first to tell you that you should never change who are for someone else. But the question you need to ask yourself is... "Is he the 'one' for you?"
If the answer is yes then either not getting anymore tattoos or even a smaller one in a different area is a reasonable compromise, because they do put a lot of people off (especially in excess). Just remember compromises work both ways.
However if the answer is no then there are guys out there that will love you and your tattoos.
Waiting longer to get more tattoos would be agony, but it won't kill you. Then you can see just how things work out between you two. You can always get them later.
It is important to find out exactly why he doesn't want you to get them and take it from there. I hope I was able to help you and best of luck. :)
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Is it possible that perhaps all the piercings and tattoos are making it hard for him to be intimate with you? Could it possibly quite off-putting? Yes I think it is a good idea for you two to just sit down and discuss it with each other, try and find out why he dislikes them but make sure he understands why you want to get them, after all, tatoos represent who you are, it is an expressive art form in one way or another.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (12 October 2010):
Is it possible that perhaps all the piercings and tattoos are making it hard for him to be intimate with you? Could it possibly quite off-putting? Yes I think it is a good idea for you two to just sit down and discuss it with each other, try and find out why he dislikes them but make sure he understands why you want to get them, after all, tatoos represent who you are, it is an expressive art form in one way or another.
I hope that helps.
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