A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:do guys get just as nervous as girls do on first dates? what are some of the worries they have? i always get stressed out before the first date and the guys always seem so nonchalant and calm. why is this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (13 October 2010):
Well, I don't know exactly how nervous a girl gets before a first date - is there some kind of meter or gauge you can measure that with? But asking, "Do guys get very nervous on first dates?" is probably like asking, "Is the Pope Catholic?".
I haven't had very many first dates . . . but yeah, it's a pretty stressful event. Especially if you know enough about the girl to think that it might become something serious. I was glad that the initial introduction to the girl I'm now married to was "buffered" by a (much older) mutual friend, and that we had spent 3 months writing to each other (real letters, on actual paper) before we had our first real date.
In general, I think guys are most nervous about anything that would make us appear the least bit inept, or cause the girl to reject us. Exactly what that is varies from one guy to another, but it's closely linked to the image we have of ourselves.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 October 2010):
Frequently. The first time I met my current girlfriend, I really was nervous. Fortunately she saw past that and now I'm with her :). But yes, men get nervous. We worry about appearance, spilling food on ourselves, our clothes, voices, whether we're good looking enough, whether we smell or not. The list is endless.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Either because they are not stressed about a first date with you, or because they are acting.
The more stressed you are, the easier it is for someone else to appear cool.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): Yes we do. In fact, my mates have stressed out sometimes more than girls! nearly everyone gets nervous on first dates but maybe people are good at covering it up sometimes? and he probabaly thinks your being calm! I guess we get nervous about the normal things like if we look okay or worrying if we are going to do somthing wrong. But we certainly do stress out x
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A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Yes, of course they do.
Guys seem nonchalant and calm because they know that to act otherwise makes girls think less of them and lose respect. Just be thankful you can let your nervousness show without being seen as a loser because of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): That may be a generalization. Guys are perhaps somewhat less obsessed about initial meetings with people because they tend to be less emotion-based than women. Guys are more action-based. Guys at your age tend to observe what a woman does on a date. THey already know how you look and talk. THe date is to see how you'll behave in a "date" environment. I think a guy might become less calm if he feels she isn't receptive to his flirting or something like that. If she exhibits outright rejection, that would probably put most guys in a tailspin on a date.Of course, inexperienced guys will be nervous too. But sometimes it's good just to SAY you're nervous, and by doing so, it might break the ice and end the pressure. Nobody is going to think you're wierd for admitting you're a bit nervous. In fact, I think it's flattering.
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