A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I caught my hb of 6 years cheating on me for the 2nd time... The 1st time was last year in November.. When I caught him he literally begged me to give him a 2nd chance.. And I did for our kids sake....everything was great until about august this year, I started recognizing the signs and once again caught him out on the 1st of oct... With a different women!! Once again he's begged me to take him back.. Turned up at my work crying... Etc I've decided that if he agrees we get help I'll take him back... So he moved back in on Friday the kids were over joyed.. But he's acting really Really weird... Firstly he won't sleep in our bed... He won't kiss or cuddle me and is being really cold quite nasty really.... Making comments about my looks weight etc.. Saying he never have sex with me again... I'm confused I've done nothing wrong.. I've not even looked at another man so why's he treating me like this..?? I spo Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (14 October 2010):
 He treats you badly because you let him. He thinks he can do and say whatever he likes because you will always take him back. You shouldn't want to sleep with him...Goodness knows what he maybe carrying for a start. He will always cheat on you. Staying with him for the kids is wrong. Your intentions maybe good but it sends a very poor message to them about the nature of adult relationships. They will grow up thinking it is ok to behave this way. Leave him and stay single for long enough to build the confidence not to settle for such poor treatment from any man you date in the future.
A
female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (14 October 2010):
 As a kid I can safely say that if my dad was a cheater I would rather that my mum was with someone who treated her better! Even if your kids are young explain to them and it will only be a matter of time until they understand.
It's better to be apart and happy than together and sad.
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A
male
reader, Dema  +, writes (14 October 2010):
Well im sorry that he's put you in a situation like this; but i have to agree with earlier posters. Its time to walk away from the situation. If he feels that he can treat you poorly right off and make comments about you physically there is something really wrong with him. You deserve better and so do your kids.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): Maybe time apart??? Get some couple counselling, they will tell you if there something worth saving?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): If I was you, this man would be way past his expiration date at this point. In fact he would have been long gone on that day I found out he first cheated on me. Sorry, but that this is truth... It may take you courage to divorce him but you simply must. If not for repeat adultery, then what in the heck are divorces for???? Personally, it would not take me "courage" to divorce my husband if he was caught cheating, it would be a swift knee jerk reaction on my behalf. No one ought to ever subject their heart to someone like this man. That's like living with the embodiment of Satan, someone that keeps hurting you. No, he does not love you. No matter how much his manipulative lips try to apologize and sweet talk you. When a man does what he has done to you his I'm sorrys become utterly empty words. It's easy for him to keep repeating them after he did this to you... You know why? Because he doesn't love you.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (14 October 2010):
He's a jerk. Why would he come to your office crying and then after he comes home starts treating you coldly? He deserves to leave. Don't worry about the kids, they'll be fine-he can still keep a relationship with them wherever he is. Do you support him financially or sth? Coz i really dont understand why he'd insist to live in the house and yet doesnt want to be a husband to you. Your hapiness matters as well-leave him. He's obviously taking you for granted.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 October 2010):
You know the time really has come for you to just divorce him. Your life is going to be utterly miserable with him. He can't offer you a thing. No commitment, no sex, no love, no happiness. Nothing.
You deserve a lot better and you know it. He's a total liar, a cheat and doesn't deserve to be sleeping on the step outside your front door, let alone inside the house again.
He treats you like this, because you are willing to take it. So pull the rug from under him, get a divorce and show him you deserve better than a weasel.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 I think a divorce is necessary. He is obviously treating you harshly because he feels some shame that he has had to beg you to take him back, either that or he WANTS you to leave him so he is trying to push you away. Either way, you deserve someone who will not decieve you and take your kind-heartedness for granted. Your children deserve to be raised by someone better, someone respectable and this man is no where near respectable. He is not even attempting to show you why it was good that you took him back. Do yourself a favor and divorce him.
I hope that helps.
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