A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi - In short i have a long distance casual relationship and i would like to finish it but in good terms, keeping the friendship bit - if possible. We talked, liked each other, went out, slept together, traveled to meet everywhere ... during months. I just want out. I have feelings for him and I am feeling like a hooker.I was planning to say nothing. Continue to talk to him normally, replying his texts, chats BUT not responding to his explicit comments and i was not planning to inform him i am not sleeping with him again.It is extremely difficult as he is very caring and sweet with me. I am just being cool and normal but i am already wondering if i should stop talking to him completely. In any case i do not want to explain him why.What should i do ? Is disappearing that rude ?Thanks for your comments.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): Don't disappear. Say you don't feel the same way now as you did when you two first got together. It happens. But don't just break-up without saying anything or else yes, you will be nagged by a stressed (nice) man until an explanation is given.
You might not care at all anymore, but don't be mean. He was committed to you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 October 2010):
You're out of luck here. Disappearing would not only be rude but it would also be seriously cruel. He might think you've been in an accident, he might think you absolutely hate him and it might really affect his confidence.
If you want out, you have to accept that you'll probably lose the friendship. You also have to do the right thing, or you'll just seem like a dreadful person, and it may get around and affect your reputation. It's called responsibility, and you've got to step up to the mark. Tell him it's over, tell him you just don't have feelings for him, tell him he will make a great boyfriend to someone else then end contact and move on.
Just don't desert him. He'll stress and when it comes out what has happened, it will bite you in the ass when it's circulated and other men become wary of you. This sort of thing gets around fast.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?]  +, writes (12 October 2010):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) In my opinion; yes, dissappearing would be very rude.
In terms for you to tell him how feel, just tells him you can't handle the long distance relationship anymore. It's as simple as that.. He may be caring and sweet, but there are plenty of fish in the sea for the both of you.
Regards, xoxo.
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