A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex for 2 years and when we broke up we agreed to remain friends. I went back to school and while I was in school we kept in touch by phone or through MSN. He drove me crazy.....he made a fake account on a dating site i was on to check on me, he got his brother to create a fake account and check on me after i ought him with the 1st one. At first i was confused to his motive, then i thought that maybe he's just really interested in me and pissed about me not seeing him anymore and thought that since he didn't lose interest then maybe once i was done school he would admit that he has feelings for me and ask for a serious relationship but when i was done school he told me he had been seeing some girl for the past 3 months and complained that she hadn't slept with him yet. I got super mad at him and called him a player and we didn't speak for 2 months. When i next talked to him he told me he was single and when i asked him what happened to that girl he said...."after we slept together, sex wasn't what she had described it to be and she got up at 5 am and wanted to leave and called me naive when i said that it would be nice to stay in bed and cuddle and do it again in the morning and she didn't let me go down on her nor would she go down on me( this is what i had tought him) We started talking more and more from then on and started getting close but he always kept reminding me that he thought of me as a close friend and even hinted towards a FWB relationship as being a better alternative to marriage.........this i was NOT ok with and said he was being selfish. His mom was then diagnosed with cancer and i was there for him to talk and i was very supportive. About a month ago we were talking about life and love and when i said we need to start being honest with ourselves first as to what we really want he said well what happens to us then? This is when I guess I snapped( i am emotionally tired and just can't handle this limbo anymore)and i said "well i guess if you don't feel anything for me and don't intend on trying to get back together then i guess we must part ways so i can find real love with a good man and who knows maybe life will bring us back into each others lives one day, what do you think?" he said.."i wish to remain friends, continue talking and supporting each other and he logged off. i left him a ph msg saying i didn't want to abandon him and wanted to talk to him further and have also said hi to him twice on MSN but he has not returned my call or replyed to me on MSN. Was i wrong to be so cold and selfish and abandon him when he obviously needs me?Thank you so much for your time and your opinions:)
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broke up, get back together, msn, my ex, player Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all thank you both so much
I do love him...........I miss him so much..........he lives so close to me (next block over) yet I feel like he is so far away. I think about him every day. I pray that God would give him courage to open up to me and reunite with me. I miss him dearly............I don't know what to do. I have tried talking and meeting other men but no one compares to him. What can I say........he stole my heart!
Please help!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 September 2010):
I'd suggest that you do move on fro this guy. You've wasted a lot of time being his safety net, while he's been having his fun and stringing you along. I mean, he was effectively stalking you to keep an eye on you, and hasn't really treated you or any other women that well. And I don't think you really did abandon him, since after he threw his toys out the pram, you phoned him and messaged him twice with no reply.
The guy's not stable, and you may well be better to end contact with him. He's not allowing you to move forward properly with your life. And you need to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): This situation seems to me like you two don't love each other, but you feel obligated to stay in touch because of your past together. I think that it is wrong to continue being friends with someone simply because you have a past, that's not friendship. I don't think you were being a bitch when you ended the friendship, you just simply severed connections that would be poisonous for future relationships that you might have. I would only stay in contact with him if he truly wants to be your friend, NOT FWB or anything similar. If you two are truly friends, you can work this out without involving your past together.
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