A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who is seeing a married man, they had a brief fling when his wife was pregnant with their 3rd child. Since then it has transpired to something more serious and they have now been continuing a LDR meeting every couple of months or so for a few days in his hometown. I have been trying to convince my friend that she should end it, after all why would you want a man who cheated on his pregnant wife and continues to do so after the birth of the child who is hardly a few months old. My friend says he is going to file for divorce as soon as she says she is ready for commitment. And she says they really love each other. How can I convince her that she might be in for a lot of grief and hurt? There is a chance it might work but at what cost?
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (18 September 2010):
 Your friend knows that she is doing wrong. But, she selfishly claims that they love each other so it's ok to hurt others. There's a 97% chance that this man will not leave his wife. The cost of divorce is high and anyway, your friend gave him what he wanted so he bought a book and continues to check out from the library because it's there. I'm sorry but you can't make the willingly blind see. The best you can do for her is be there when he steps all over her heart and offer tissues. But, even then, she might blame you. "Why didn't you warn me he was bad?!" Or embarassed that you know of her dissapointment, will avoid you. "Her man" has no values, cheating when his child is born on the woman who bore it. You have done your part. You were a friend and tried to talk her out of this but in the end, it comes down to her and her choices. Live your life, she'll live hers.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 September 2010):
There is no chance. I don't know whether I'd want to be friends with a person like this, but if you can stomach the fact that this will gone wrong one way or another, just be there with the tissues and get ready for her to have wasted her life. But, if I were you, I'd just let this friend slip away. She's being blind. He doesn't' care, never will and won't leave his wife or he would have done it.
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