A
female
age
30-35,
*aisy2
writes: I met a fab guy while on Spring Break with friends. The guy and his friends were cool, not sleazy and wanted to do daytime stuff with us like lunch, coffee etc. In fact my friend is dating his friend and its going really well.It really felt like me and this guy gelled on so many levels but he lives in a different state. We texted a few times, mostly me first.So this Monday evening the conversation was going along well, he even asked me to come visit.I wanted to subtly ask if he could be the one texting me first the next time so I won't feel like I am going after him so I said abruptly in the middle of the conversation:"txt me whenever U want...."and he replied "Whenever i want? Thats leaves it pretty open...."I said "I'm not sure what u meant by open? So easy to get confused LOL!!"and then he never got back to me. It has been a week.Did I say something wrong?I really want to be in touch with him BUT DO NOT want to text him first AGAIN.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 September 2010):
I'll go one step further than the post below and say not to bother now. I know when I'm interested in a woman, I'll make an effort. And nearly all men are the same. We actually do make an effort. This guy doesn't seem to be making an effort at all really. Don't bother with him, and if he happens to text, then text back if you really want to. But it just seems to me like he's not bothered.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): Another point of view miss, I hate to chase. I can tell when a woman is desperate and when she's being genuine and doesnt want to play a game and wants to be with me. Chasing is a game and getting into a relationship shouldnt be a game, its a real, sincere thing. When I was younger, I chased a girl so much that when we finally got into the relationship I was emotionally exhausted and so I got lazy thinking "ahh finally, shes mine, I dont have to do anything."
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (19 September 2010):
He means you're making yourself too available. Men don't respond to that behaviour well, they see it as clingy and desperate. They like to chase, and you've already let him catch you.
I'd avoid making 'so easy to get confused' comments as well, you're putting yourself down and basically claiming you're not too bright upstairs, which isn't attractive. Confidence is what men find attractive.
Face it, you either ignore him until he texts, or never hear from him again. Otherwise you'll always be stuck initiating the conversation.
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