A
female
age
41-50,
*onfused4awhile
writes:Ok I need help!!!!I have been in a relationship with someone I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, however I dont beleive he is interested in me anymore:( Over the last 2 years it is very rarely that we are intimate. I understand that sex doesnt make a relationship. I sometimes question if he is cheating. But I really beleive I do not turn him on anymore. I love him with all my heart. I have tried discussing my unhappiness and it just doesnt seem to help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 September 2010):
I doubt you'll find it's you at all. Check out Erectile Dysfunction. Your boyfriend may just be low on libido, tired, stressed, worried about something, or just not that into sex anyway. But it's not you. I'd suggest talking to him again, and perhaps being more direct. Basically "I want and need more sex in this relationship". And if that doesn't get him kicking into gear, then you need to tell him it's affecting your relationship. Just don't sit there thinking it's you, because it's not.
A
female
reader, bubblemaniac  +, writes (19 September 2010):
It's always hard to tell what's really going on in a relationship without knowing the two individuals really. There's so many reasons that the sexual side of a relationship can break down. Having kids, being bored, work hours, communication issues, attraction can fade due to feeling distant from the person or if things like cheating have happened, unresolved issues, one or both parties being jealous or insecure.
I agree sex isn't everything in a relationship however I think it's an important expression of love and intimacy. If you can be real, honest, open and explore and pleasure your partner there's something serious going on.
Have any events triggered this or has it just progressively become worse? Was there ever any romance or passion in the relationship? Do you ever spend time alone and just hang out or do fun things together. Has anything medical occurred for either of you?
It's a tough subject that can at the end of the day leave you feeling down, frustrated, unattractive and rejected if things aren't worked out.
I for one have loved someone but gotten to the point of not feeling in love with someone anymore but I think love doesn't just fade but attraction and lust can. I'm not trying to be mean here but have there been issues such as either of you putting on or losing alot of weight? Are you both active and have energy?
I hope that you are able to sort this through :)
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