A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy 12 mths ago on an internet site, we got really friendly and ended up meeting up for a chat. He told me he was in a long term relationship but said he only stayed there as he was going to leave before and it devasted his children. One thing led to another and he ended up sleeping together. During this time, he was flirting with other women on a social networking site which i told him really upset me. He then removed me from his friends list as he said for my own good as he was just flirting and doing no harm. He was struggling for money, and i gave him cash, bought him things he needed for his van so he could get to work, i bought him garden tools so he would do jobs. I paid him to do work for me at my house too. I even put credit on his phone. One day i found out that he was still adding other women to his profile, and when i questioned him as to why, it got into a really heated text arguement and he finished things with me. I know i should not have messed around with a "taken" man but i fell for this guy hook line and sinker and i also know that im probably getting karma for doing so, but i just cant seem to get him out of my head, i cant eat, i cant sleep properly, only go out of the house to go to work, ive cut myself completly from the outside world and i cant seem to pick myself back up from this one. All kinds of things are running through my head, should i tell his partner of his secret cyber life? did he use me just for sex and money? did i ever mean anything to him? I have tried to text and ask him but he just doesnt reply, so should i go to see him and get the answers i need would that help me move on and rebuild my life?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (18 September 2010):
 Cheating, sex, and lies..all go hand in hand. They always throw out the line they want to leave but can't because of the children. Correction, if they really wanted to leave they would but they just don't want to. It's actually better to leave when they're at a young age so they can start to accept the separation. This man as you know used you for money and sex, then when you got to questioning and pushy he cut you off. You should know better in these situations that the "other woman" rarely ever comes out on top. Really, I feel sad for his partner because he's cheating behind her back but eventually he will slip up they all do. It's not your place to tell his partner, as I said she will find out on her own. No, you were nothing but an affair to him. Also if you try to go and see him he will slam the door in your face. I don't know why you're confused it's clear in your post that it was nothing but an affair, he used you. Period. You fell for it, now you have to get over it. He will not give you the closure you want. There's nothing he owes you, except for money.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 September 2010):
You have your answers. He used you. Don't search for anymore answers, because you'll just get hurt. And don't tell his wife either, because she'll blame you.
As hard as it is, you need to let this guy go. You have paid a big price for messing with a taken man. You now need to spend time on yourself, rebuilding your life. The most valuable lesson you've learnt here is that you should never mess with a taken man. He lied, used you, and that's it. Stop fretting over him. He's not worth the time. You've got to stop wallowing, no matter how unhappy you are, and make an effort to move on.
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