A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy through a dating site and we have been chatting online for about 3 months now. We chat almost everyday. He always leaves me offline messages like, 'Hi, beautiful. How's ur day? I miss u.' We see each other on cam often. He says he wants a serious relationship and has mentioned many times that he is very interested in getting to know me. I like him a lot, BUT (there's that but, lol!) he has never mentioned talking on the phone. I only get to chat with him when he's at work. I asked him if he's married, living with a woman, etc.--he says he's neither. He says that he's busy with work right now because it's peak season for his line of work, and will have free time soon to spend with me. He says that he truly is interested and knows that talk is cheap. He means to prove to me that he really is serious about meeting me. So what should I make of it? I think it's suspicious that I don't get to talk to him when he's home. Should I grill him some more on why he doesn't want to chat when he's off work or over phone?Thanks for your responses in advance.
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female
reader, syrop  +, writes (4 November 2010):
Its for sure he is married. just tell him the truth and see whats his reply
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 November 2010):
 He is seeing someone else. Married or GF. Otherwise there would be no excuse to not talk to you.... unless he lives in his Mom's basement with no Internet.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): Caring Guy,
Good advice :) I appreciate it. It's true that sometimes the reasons are not so clear and dry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): He's either married or has a girlfriend. It's pretty obvious when you think about it.
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A
female
reader, Natalie:)  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Because there is someone at home he is hiding your relationship from.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (4 November 2010):
 My firt guess would be that he's already involved and cheating. He's clearly trying to hide the fact that he's talking to you from whoever he's living with.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Simple, he is bullshitting you. He is living with someone who would not approve his conversations with you, and for some reason I don't think she is a smothering mom or a clingy roommate...
Otherwise there is no other reason why he could not EVER talk to you from the privacy and comfort of his home, rather than from work where he always risks being intterrupted or even reprimanded for attending personal business during work hours.
People DO lie some times, you know ?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 November 2010):
I also think it's suspicious. But grilling him won't work, since he's already claimed to you that he has no girlfriend or wife. I'd have thought that if he was busy with work, the only place he could have contacted you would be from home. Companies usually get a bit mad at their employees emailing people and talking to them during work.
Something is wrong here, but you can't just grill him about it because he wont' own up. You could try asking if you could meet him at his house and see what he says. Give it a bit more time and be very subtle as you try to find out what he's up to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): This guy is married cut him loose
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