A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship which I been in for 8 years, I love him but not sure if I'm in love with him. I have recently been in contact with a old crush and the past 2 weeks we got close, my heart telling me to be with him but I don't know please help
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female
reader, Tammy1205  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Hi,
If you are losing feelings for your partner of 8 years, I would consider breaking up with him. True love is never ending, and if you are connecting with another man, chances are you aren't meant to be with your boyfriend. Listen to your heart. Choose what is right and what you want, not what is comfortable and familiar. Life is too short for anything less than extraordinary love.
Hope this helped :)
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (4 November 2010):
If you've been together for 8 years, this guy must have something special that you love. If you've felt that its been going away lately HE NEEDS TO KNOW! Trust me, I'm a guy! We are oblivious and we do not know what our woman is thinking all the time. Don't let him read your mind. If he's been with you for 8 years, and truly loves you, he'll do what he can to earn your love again.As far as the other guy goes, don't go and look for that adventure just because your current life has become "routine." I know the feeling. Your relationship is the same, day in and day out, and you need some excitement and adventure in your life. All of a sudden, Ta-Da! A man from your past is back and he's ready to sweep you off your feet.Don't buy into it. You don't want to throw away something you've worked to keep for so long just because something tempting comes your way. You'll only regret it later when that exciting "adventure" isn't all its cracked up to be, and you miss the guy who was by your side for 8 years.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 November 2010):
I think it would be a bit of a tragedy if you threw away 8 years for some crush who happened to come back on the scene. What you are feeling now is the original recipe for disaster. You're feeling a bit tied down, a bit bored, and perhaps the relationship is a bit stale. Alone comes an old crush, and suddenly your feelings apparently wake up and the grass looks greener on the other side. - Disaster waiting to happen, I promise you.
If your relationship is becoming stale, then talk to your boyfriend and try to work at it. If you believe that it's over, then end it and spend time alone working out what you want from life. Just don't go from one loyal boyfriend of 8 years into the arms of some old crush. Your crush will have changed, and you don't know him.
Think before you act very carefully. Either work at the relationship, or end it and spend time on your own life. Don't go from one guy to another. That will leave you with no one in the end.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (4 November 2010):
At the moment you are still in a relationship and should resist all temptations to stray.
Has the loss of love for for current partner dropped since the old crush came on the scene or before that?
If it has been since, then definitely hold back for the time being as this may the return of the "crush" and nothing more.
If you are no longer "in love" with your boyfriend you need to ask yourself why and how long it has been like this? Is it just because you have grown apart or something has changed in the relationship. Is it something that can be worked out, or is it because your head has been turned?
Don't jump to a decision because the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Hearts can often rule heads and they don't often make the right decisions. You need to take a step back and look at the situation from the outside and assess it.
If it really does boil down to your old crush, then you have to be sure it is the right decision and you must end things first with your current boyfriend as it is not fair on him and will only lead to more heartbreak.
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