A
female
age
26-29,
*hickybabecb14
writes:I have a boyfriend now but one of my guy friends wants to be friends with benefits. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend but is it wrong to have a friend with benefits to practice for my boyfriend?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 November 2010):
 What do you think a FWB is?? Friends with benefits is sex with no strings attached, no feelings, no emotion.
A
female
reader, chickybabecb14 +, writes (5 November 2010):
chickybabecb14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni never said anything about sex! there is no way i could ever do that with anyone. it can and will only ever b a special some1. idk what i was thinking... cuz i could never follow through with that stuff anyway... i could never do friends with benefits its actually not about me... its for my friend. she wanted 2 know... i figured if it sounded like me then i would get some real insight. cuz u know when u talk to or about some1s friend u dont know ppl tend to sugar coat things... for example what u said to me... "yes, of course it is wrong. But if you prefer to get a reputation as an easy, dumb, slutty person then just continue on your chosen path to cheat and lie, and act 'easy'. Your reputation will take a nose dive though, and it will end in tears, for you." u would answer a friend "thats not right , u shouldnt do that, it would hurt him".... i tried telling her that she didnt listen so insight from strangers was my best bet. i know that probably sounds sly but she said it was a good idea 2. i asked her of course. i on the other hand and very content with my boyfriend and could never do anything like that... thanks for the input guys! my other questions are from me unless stated otherwise....
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A
female
reader, chickybabecb14 +, writes (5 November 2010):
chickybabecb14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni never said anything about sex! there is no way i could ever do that with anyone. it can and will only ever b a special some1. idk what i was thinking... cuz i could never follow through with that stuff anyway... i could never do friends with benefits its actually not about me... its for my friend. she wanted 2 know... i figured if it sounded like me then i would get some real insight. cuz u know when u talk to or about some1s friend u dont know ppl tend to sugar coat things... for example what u said to me... "yes, of course it is wrong. But if you prefer to get a reputation as an easy, dumb, slutty person then just continue on your chosen path to cheat and lie, and act 'easy'. Your reputation will take a nose dive though, and it will end in tears, for you." u would answer a friend "thats not right , u shouldnt do that, it would hurt him".... i tried telling her that she didnt listen so insight from strangers was my best bet. i know that probably sounds sly but she said it was a good idea 2. i asked her of course. i on the other hand and very content with my boyfriend and could never do anything like that... thanks for the input guys! my other questions are from me unless stated otherwise....
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A
female
reader, chickybabecb14 +, writes (5 November 2010):
chickybabecb14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni never said anything about sex. there is no way i could ever do that with anyone. it can and will only ever b a special some1. idk what i was thinking... cuz i could never follow through with that stuff anyway...
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A
female
reader, chickybabecb14 +, writes (5 November 2010):
chickybabecb14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni never said anything about sex. there is no way i could ever do that with anyone. it can and will only ever b a special some1. idk what i was thinking... cuz i could never follow through with that stuff anyway...
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A
female
reader, roadie42 +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Wait a second...you clearly state that you don't want to cheat on your boyfriend, but you're asking if you can be "friends with benefits" with another guy? AND have sex with said guy in order to "practice"? Maybe I'm missing something here...Here's an easy rule to remember when you have a boyfriend and you're not sure how far you should go with another member of the opposite sex - if you wouldn't do it with your sibling, don't do it with another guy. Kind of awkward, I know, but it works pretty well. Hanging out is perfectly fine, and there's nothing wrong with hugging and other forms of friendly contact. Kissing, on the other hand, is going too far...and sex? That's pretty much the ultimate form of cheating. If you have a boyfriend and you're having sex with another guy on the side, you're not practicing. You're blatantly cheating on your significant other. How would you feel if your boyfriend told you that he practiced making out and having sex with other girls? You'd probably feel horribly betrayed, and you certainly wouldn't think very highly of him.My guess is that you're too young to truly understand what friends with benefits means...otherwise, you'd realize that it's still cheating. As for having sex...wayyy too young. When you're mature enough, it won't matter if you're inexperienced because he'll love you and care about you, no matter what. Just be patient and make good decisions, DON'T "practice sex" with other guys, and everything will work out.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 November 2010):
If you even have to ask this question then no way are you ready to have sex. Sex with someone else other than your boyfriend is classified as cheating. Why would you have sex with someone who isn't your boyfriend just to "practice"? What one guy likes doesn't mean that's what your boyfriend is into. Every guy is different in the sack. Not to mention, you're under the legal age of consent which varies from 16-18 depending on your state. In which I would wait till you are of legal age and you have had Sex Ed. do pay close attention and it couldn't hurt to jot down notes. Lastly, before you have sex you need to make sure you are on a form of contraceptive such as the shot or the pill and your boyfriend is wearing condoms at all times. Lecture over.
FWB, is something someone your age shouldn't be engaging in. One you don't understand fully what it is, and secondly girls are not emotionally cut out for it. FWB means you are having casual sex with a guy, there's no liking him, having any feelings for him, and you're not boyfriend/girlfriend. He calls you for sex, you come over, get it on, then you take your purse and leave until he calls you again. The tricky part is, that unless you specify in the beginning he can sleep with other girls too. Unless, he wears condoms..he's putting you at risk for STDS. Lastly, almost always the girl in this FWB confuses sex=love and starts to develop feelings for the guy wanting to turn it into a relationship. Once you have started FWB, there's no back tracking and trying to make it a relationship, doesn't work that way. Don't engage in a FWB ordeal..they don't end well.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Yes and PLEASE don't have sex for a LONG LONG time, you don't seem to grasp the emotional side of sex. AT ALL.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): How would you feel if you boyfriend wasn't doing nice things or buying you stuff or talking to you much, and then you found out he was secretly doing all that stuff with some other girl he knows instead of you?
Then if you cornered him and demanded an explanation for it, how would you feel if he told you he was just doing all that stuff with her to "practice" to be better for you?
You wouldn't buy a word of his bullshit excuses, would you? You would want to curse him out and leave him. And so would any other normal person.
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (4 November 2010):
 I'm sorry but that's really gross. Why would you disrespect yourself and your boyfriend that way? If anyone finds out (and there's a high chance of that) then, you become the school slut. No nice boy will want you and your boyfriend will dump you for sure...Maybe he should "practice" with someone too-if you can do it, why not him? Sex at your age is just not right. It's illegal and trust me when I tell you that it's better if you wait. FWB relationships always end up bad.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): yes, of course it is wrong. But if you prefer to get a reputation as an easy, dumb, slutty person then just continue on your chosen path to cheat and lie, and act 'easy'. Your reputation will take a nose dive though, and it will end in tears, for you.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Quite simply, yes it is wrong. It is cheating and would hurt your boyfriend, meaning that he would probably end your relationship.
How would you feel if you found out he was having sex with another girl and his excuse was he was "practicing"? I'm sure you wouldnt be happy!
And keep in mind, having sex at your age is illegal so any boy having sex with you could get into a lot of trouble for that.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 November 2010):
Let me ask you this. What do you think your boyfriend would do if he found out you were having underage sex with your friend?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): I agree with Cerberus Raphael, you are at an age where it is almost impossible to manage a sexual relationship of any kind successfully.
That being said, I had a friend with benefits at your age. While I don't believe doing this had any long term negative effects on my sexual development, it was hard to manage, required that I sneak out frequently at night, and was overall a waste of time. It wasn't nearly as fun as I thought it was going to be, and even worse, it didn't make me any better at sex! I never really felt safe in the situations I was in, and you deserve to have that when you're experimenting with anyone for the first time.
When I went to college, I started a serious, intimate relationship, and that was when I really enjoyed my sexual experiences and became more practiced. If you want to understand sexuality, just move very slowly with your boyfriend, ask adults many questions about the process, and keep it simple. You're young and shouldn't have all the complications that come with what you're proposing.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 There are a number of things wrong here. First of all, you are underaged and I highly doubt anyone that age is ready for something as emotionally and physically monumental as sex. Sexual relationships are hard enough to manage as it is with mature adults, it will be even harder for someone who is still in their adolescent youth. Your hormones are raging about and causing you to feel all sorts of things.
Friends with benefits are even harder to manage, almost always growing into a more complex relationship where emotions become a mess.
And yes, having sex with someone else while you already have a boyfriend is cheating no matter what. Do not 'practice' sex with someone else. You and your boyfriend will just have to wait until you two are old enough. Look at it this way, if he is patient, it means he truly cares about you and is not with you simply for sex.
I hope that helps.
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