A
female
age
41-50,
*ileyfg
writes:Confused and hurting... It's only been two weeks but the pain of my bf breaking up with me seems greater now than it was that nite he said we're breaking up. Why? Can anyone explain it to me, it seems I cry over any little thing that reminds me of him more now than I did two weeks ago. Could it be because he has slowed his calls and texts to me or just me trying to act like i can handle finally hit home that he is gone. Do you men ever feel the pain and hurt us women go through when you break up with us..? Do you guys ever set back and think what you had you just gave up cause your to scared and confused? I just wonder if my ex has slowed his contact because he is seriously thinking about us or he is done? And why do I hurt over his abscene more today than two weeks ago? What is the normal time frame for your broken heart to heal?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 November 2010):
I'm afraid when someone comes to ending things, they are usually past the pain stage of the relationship. Your ex probably had to do a lot of soul searching before he ended it. That's when he felt his pain. Usually the person doing the dumping feels it far less then the person being dumped. Men do feel pain when they're dumped though. The same as you are now. But as I say, when someone does the dumping, they're usually past the pain. If you'd dumped your boyfriend, he'd have been where you are now. You'd have been moving on already.
Your heart will heal when you are ready. That could take a few months, it could take a year, or longer. You just have to focus on your own life now. Focus on work, friends, hobbies. Focus on everything that you want to do. Anything that takes your mind off him.
A
female
reader, syrop  +, writes (3 November 2010):
hmmm, well you are having the pain after two weeks break up. its quite normal. i once in the same situation as you are now. i broke up with my ex when i found out that he was cheating on me. at first i did not feel the pain but yeah after a few days i did.
the answer to your first question :- It is said that you can never understand someone's value until he is with you. its only when he is not here that you understand his value. its quite true. only when someone is not here that you miss him because you feel his absence. you feel the absence of how he used to shower his love upon you. Especially when you know he will never come back in your life. as for you maybe at first you did not realise his absence only when time passes you might have realised that now those times have passed and will never come back. you will never see him. you will never be with him.
2. Yes it could be because he has slow texts. the fact that you was spending most of your times waiting for his texts or texting him..now that you don't. your thoughts are just dwelling into him. feeling his absence
3. Do you men ever feel the pain and hurt us women go through when you break up with us..? well this depends on the character of the men. if he is a selfish one then the answer is NO. If he used to it, i mean breaking girls heart, then NO. but not all men are like this. there are some who are touched by this. there are some who cries upon their past, thinking about their break ups. if your ex has leave you for nothing then the answer would be no. but if you have done something unpardonable, the he will feel the pain.
4. the pain of your heart will heal but will take time. you will NEVER forget him completely though. BuT You will get rid of his thoughts provided that you have got someone else in your life as you will be busy with that someone rather than thinking of your past.
Move on girls. make frds
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