A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in so much pain because I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. I met this man over eight years ago and we have been best of friends ever since. When I said best of friends I mean there is nothing about me or him we do not tell each other, things that happened in our past, the secrets of our past, even what he cannot share with his wife. He visits me any time he wants and stays till early hour of the morning. His says that he is no longer happy in his marriage, not that I am interested in that. Last year things changed between us and we started having an affair, I love him so much that I am deadly in love with. Him, on the other hand is bleeding love for me. His wife has found out that we’re having an affair. She and her friends are making my life a living hell. The man is not budging; he wants to be with me despite all that is happening, he is attacking either the wife or any body that bothers me. I truly love him more than anybody on this planet earth and he can’t survive a second without me. Now he wants to marry me. Help please.
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affair, married man Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Oh please(!) 8 years? He's not going to marry you are you really that niave? He's using you end of story.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Have a backbone and tell him it's over. Then walk away, avoid all contact with him, ignore his phone calls, and pretty soon he'll find another affair or go back to his wife like he already does every day. Woman up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Thanks you so very much every one for all your helpful response to this predicament that I am going through. The problem is that I have tried breaking up with him several time during those times, weeks will go by and I will be miserable as well as him but once we start talking again and end up together again, we're all happy again. I don't want to be his bit on the side because I am still single. I want to break it off with him but sincerely, I am so miserable without him, I can't stay and I can't go. my world is just torn apart. how do I really break it off with him for real.
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A
female
reader, kateye64 +, writes (4 November 2010):
 to be honest with you it never gonna happen been there done that.with me i knew what i was getting into and asked him before anything ever started off do he love his wife of course he said what all men would say no,which i told him that he was a lie because if you didnt why are you still married,than isaid i'll give it a try but dont think that for once that im going in with my eyes close cause what you do on your wife with me you would do the same on me with another and he did just that so in other words can you handle this when its your turn?if you dont believe me tell him that you have a new friend that you are dating and see how he react to that see he wont you,his wife and everybody else so if you got to share him why cant he share you in this way when he do get a divorce he would understand that if he can dish it he can take it.leave him alone you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 November 2010):
How long has he been married? In order to marry you he has to be divorced from his wife..you've got a slim to none chance of that actually happening. He has to divorce his wife or vice versa, but I don't see her doing that seeing she's set on making your life hell. So why doesn't he cut out all the drama and divorce his wife? Oh wait, she might take him to the cleaners because he's committing adultery.
I'd tell your 8 year lover that actions speak louder than words.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Well he can't very well marry you if he's married already and since he doesn't seem in any great hurry to accomplish that, I guess you just plug along as his bit on the side.
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (3 November 2010):
 I'm not understanding the problem. He divorces his wife and marries you. That's how it works.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 November 2010):
Why has he not filed for divorce? Why has he done nothing to take this further rather then just cheat on his wife? Sounds to me like he's a man who's just getting what he wants and doing as he sees fit. Unless he leaves his wife, files for divorce and makes a show, then you don't stand a chance.
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