A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm doing an open long distance relationship with this girl, and i am bi. i really like her but she doesn't seem to like me as much. i haven't talked to her in more than a week because she never replies to my inboxes on facebook even though i know she's been online. im guessing she's trying to grow apart from me so that i would get less hurt and soon forget about her. well, her plan isn't exactly working.. my feelings for her are growing everyday and i can't even go a few minutes without thinking about her. im seeing her again after a month, just for winter break. although i know im going to get hurt and this will distract me from other important things in my life, i have no doubt in wanting to make her mine. so my question is this.. how do i "push-pull?" like play hard-to-get? i dont know how much she still likes me right now but when she comes here during winter break, i want her to want me. i've googled and asked people for advice.. but i have no hope. in what way can i talk to her that'll leave her wondering about me after our conversation? what will make her miss me a lot? and when she's here, how do i make her want to go on dates with me everyday? thanks to all that reply~
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 November 2010):
This won't work. It's not about you playing hard to get. You've already asked for advice and you've not really found any. To be honest, there's little you can do. LDR's are extremely hard to maintain, and it sounds like this girl is checking out of yours. When someone doesn't reply to your messaged and emails even though they've been online, then what you have it pretty much over.
Your best bet is to end it. There sadly is no way you can make her want you. If she hasn't the courtesy to answer emails, then she's not suddenly going to get on her knees and come begging if you stop.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): Hi!
My opinion on this is just you can't make someone feel anything if they don't have that interest in you. There's not really a technique you can use because people react differently to different things. All you can do is be yourself and hope that is enough to attract her attention and get her wondering about you and keen to know more about you.
If she is shown signs of pulling away then, as a girl, I would want the guy to show me respect by not then acting desparate and trying to win me over with mind games like playing hard to get as I would feel like they didn't repsect me and my feelings.
But if you are intent on at least giving things a go with her, I would make her feel more comfortable by doing things in as a group with friends than try to get her on her own for dates and take her to do really fun things. If her memory of you is that you are easy going, fun and respected her then you may get a chance with her.
I hope you get a few responses and can take a bit of each on helping you in your situation.
Good Luck
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