A
male
age
51-59,
*odeci
writes: why does my girlfriend get drunk and starts telling me i don't do anything for her and adds my sex sucks, why does hurt me this way?
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female
reader, Tine +, writes (14 December 2010):
you need to speak to her when she is 100% sober, if she thinks there are flaws in your realtionship she should be open minded with you while she isn't under the influence, instead of when she has had the dutch courage of alcohol.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I use to get drunk and say all the things that I would usually hold in. But it could be a case of her being just unhappy and trying to drag you down to her level. Either way theres something going on which you need to sort out.
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A
male
reader, Mr Clark +, writes (14 December 2010):
Hard to say. It might help if we had a little more informatin about your situation.
Does she get drunk a lot? Are you normally also drunk when she says these things? Does she say these things during drunk arguments? Is she someone who generally gets aggressive/angry when drunk, or is she a happy drunk other than saying hurtful things to you? Does she go on and on about you when drunk saying a lot of nasty things, or does she say some good things (e.g. "I love you, but you suck at sex"?) Does she apologize when she's sober? Does she say nice things when she's sober? How long have you been seeing her? What is your relationship like overall?
If there are sexual issues in your relationship, she's not helping anything by getting drunk and saying nasty things to you. A decent woman who cares about you would talk to you in a caring manner and work with you to solve the problem. My best guess is that she's at least somewhat prone to be abusive, and this side of her comes out when she's drunk. It seems to me she's probably unlikely to change, and you'd probably be best off getting out of the relationship before you suffer more emotional damage. No one deserves to be with someone who gets drunk and treats them like crap.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2010):
When she's drunk, she lets down her inhibitions, and will just say anything. I think it's a sign that you two need to seriously work at your relationship. Because there are two reasons why she would say these things.
1 - There is some truth in it, in which case you need to look at your own behaviour and both you and she need to work at what you have.
2 - She has a real problem with drink and needs to cut down.
Talk to her seriously about this. And if it continues, maybe look as to whether it would be best to end it.
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