A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I really like a teacher...So I have liked many teachers before but once again i am in love with this teacher but the thing is i dont atcually have him as a teacher...he is an computing teacher and the first time i saw him i really liked him...one time when i had to go up to the computing place with my friend at lunch he was there and we made eye contact...I take computing but sadly he is not my teacher...today we had him as our teacher was not there and i kept asking for help with every question and he would come over and lean on the back of my chair and then explain everything in full...he kept walking up my way...i really like him but the thing is i know nothing can happen as he is a teacher and i am only 15...it annoys me so much...also when we packed up i was at the other end of the class room and the kept looking over at me but when i looked over he looked else where....I dont know if i am actually asking a question but wanting your views and what has happened to you because of liking a teacher or what you did xxx
View related questions:
crush, my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): I thought I was in love a couple years ago with my teacher. But I wasn't.
This year he started teaching at my new school and everybody is talking about the year that he taught us and how they thought he had a crush on a certain student - not me, of course. When I thought I loved him it seemed that he paid extra attention to me too, but now I see that it was all in my head and I wanted him to love me back so badly that I imagined/exaggerated all of the stuff he did XD
Don't think you're in love now!! In a couple years you'll look back and be like WTF, I didn't love him at all. What was I thinking?
Okay, I'm kinda rambling. Bottom line: you don't love him. (don't say anything to suggest that you like/love him either. I did that and it didn't end well . . .)
A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (22 December 2010):
 I had my fair share of teacher crushes when I was 15/16.
Like most others, I thought I was mature for my age and that I was in love. And that if he smiled at me, then it must be because he likes me or because I'm a special student.
Now, at 21, I can look back and chuckle because it seems so funny!
I can understand why.girls like teachers and I really do empathize. I have only just felt my hormones even out, I remember at that age being a time bomb of hormones, each day was exhausting and dramatic.
So I some what sympathise, but would never advise acting on feelings.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): it is just your mind wind it is nothing every one feel like so don't take it very important yahh that uis amezing that your teacher seems he want to with you but ope your mind forget him belive me if you don't you will get very bad effect ... ok ok oko kokok byyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I have been in love with my 40 year old english teacher for two years since i was 15. i was failing his class and he made me acadmic student of the week for 9th grade. i was failing EVERY class. every time he passed me at my desk, passing out papers, walking by.......ext. he would say "Hi Bryna" every day. i was so unbelievably in love with him., i just want to know if i am exadurating. and ur thing is not wierd at all, its perfectly natural, cuz lets face it boys our age are stupid and immature.
...............................
A
female
reader, Higherx  +, writes (15 December 2010):
My experience ? I'm 15, 16 in less than a month, and I've known this teacher since I was 13, and we've been quite close for the last 2/3 years. I do not have any feelings for him, I like him (as a teacher) and get along with him.
My experience is kind of the other way round. My friend is saying that this teacher keeps flirting with me, and she's even told our head of year about it ! And I think if he says anything that's even just nice, she'll (re)confront him (re because she confronted him about it last year and near the end of the year he stayed right away from me, but I think this year when she started again, he realized I hadn't said anything). Sometimes I can understand why she's getting quite cross about it. He's said I'm beautiful, charming, he loves my accent (not from the country where I live, ps I'm not from Bulgaria), and he says I speak better the language of the country I live than all the "natives". He also gets mad whenever someone hurts me, and he says I participate in class even if I don't. The last part I don't mind, but he's said I'm beautiful like 3 or 4 times now in the time he's been working at my school, and Monday one of my guy friends said to me in English (I'm English) : "What's your relationship status?" and I said "Single" but me and the teacher both said it at the same time even though my friend was talking to me, and I looked at my teacher and he said, "Well, you are single aren't you?" and then my friend asked the teacher as a joke and he said "It's a very complicated story." and my friend looked a little startled and left.
And I'm not making out to be something it isn't, everyone said it's like that. Not only my friend who's getting cross about it.
I don't mind if he's being nice to me, or even just a bit flirting with me, but I don't want it to go any further, he's not married, he hasn't got any kids, but he's young and I don't want him to wreck his career, this is the first school he's worked at longer than a year.
So now you've heard the opposite version.
To be honest "anonymous", it just sounds like your teacher was just being helpful, you were asking him loads of questions, you admit so, he had to help you out, it's his job.
...............................
A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (14 December 2010):
 I have liked quite a few of my teachers in the past, but when i was 15 I fell so deeply for my english teacher; not just her appearance but her voice, personality, laugh, clothes etc...
At the end of yr11 (i was moving to a different schools 6th form) i came back a couple of weeks after breaking up and told her i had feelings for her- which she was very flattered about but said that nothing could happen between us. (she was single, without children and in her 40's) and I am now 18 and i still love her so much and I think about her every day- though i can't see her because she had to go back to her own country. I told her because i honestly love her and i felt that she had to know or i would have regretted it my whole life.
I have never felt that way about anyone before and now, even though i have a boyfriend, no one in my mind can compare to my teacher even though i can't have her.
Never put your teachers job at risk, or consider telling them if they have a family or are in a relationship/married. Nothing good will come of it. If you are really supposed to be with your teacher, then it will happen somehow in the future, and if you really love them, then you will be willing to wait until that time.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Let's see, student crushes on teachers. Recently in my area, we had a teacher/student liaison end with him losing his job and her getting expelled. I don't know if they are prosecuting him, as I don't believe they had sexual relationship. But it was not in the bounds of a teacher/student relationship. Not a 'happily ever after' ending.
I have several friends who are teachers, and ALL the male ones HATE that they wind up having students who crush on them. It's terribly disruptive to their careers, as if the crush becomes overt and a problem, the teacher has to report the student, then there's counseling, the student has to be transferred to a different class or leave the school entirely. They live in FEAR of a female crushing student ruining their career. These men and women have gone to school to become educators, they have built a career and hope to live their lives teaching, but it is so fragile in that an obsessed girl could wreck their chances.
I had a big crush on my science teacher when I was growing up but I knew there was nothing ever going to happen between us--so I understand what many of the crushing girls feel. I do not understand the obsessive thinking, though, when it reaches the point of unhealthiness and really poor decisions.
Being a teenager is tough, you have this adult body but not fully formed and matured judgement and decision skills (witness the many teenagers who die in car crashes due to texting and not wearing their seatbelts). There's a sense of 'bad things happen only to other people, not me!' which is dangerous and so, so false, as I've come to learn over time.
The thing that strikes me is that most of the adults who have made it through school and into adulthood now look back on the crushes and teen feelings and realize that most of them were built on nothing much. We try to tell the teenagers this, but as we remember, teenagers aren't necessarily the best listeners.... We were there, we did the same thing only without the internet and mobile phones and texting. There was one phone in the house and mom answered it. We sent pictures by snail mail. There was no instant messaging and we couldn't try to 'friend' our teachers on FB. It's a much faster and more intense world in many ways, but some things don't change much.
So the really awful 'grown up' thing to say is, 'don't worry, you'll grow out of it.' But the truth is, as a rule, you will.
I say things sometimes about growing old and the 70 year olds I know look at me and say, "stop whining, youngster!" It's all relative.
You'll be my age someday, and you'll remember this crush in a very different way, IF you remember it.
Hope this helps, just remember that life is a process of learning. If you stop learning, you rust.
Another educator wound up
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (14 December 2010):
 99% of people at some point have a crush on a teacher. You are not the first and you will not be the last.
However, I can say that the teacher does not and will not ever reciprocate your feelings. He is an adult, you are a child. He is your teacher.
Everything you are seeing is being blown out of proportion in your own mind. He isnt treating you differently, its just how you are interpreting it.
You said: kept asking for help with every question and he would come over and lean on the back of my chair and then explain everything in full.
Basically, YOU keep asking him questions. What is he going to do, ignore you? How unprofessional would that be?! The fact you KEEP asking, means you dont understand so he is being a good teacher by breaking it down and explaining EVERYTHING. If he didnt do this, and your grades dropped he could be but on report for not taking enough time with you.
He leans over and probably puts his hand on the back of the chair, because doing this for long periods of time can actually really start to hurt the back.
As for looking over in your direction - depending on where the door is, you may have just been in the central line of sight. Kids are notorious about leaving things lying about, making a mess, being noisy, disruptive etc when leaving a classroom. Trying to keep order and making sure everyone has everything, including books, work, pencil cases, handouts, homework is like a military operation! Did you know some kids will deliberately leave behind homeweork assignments so they dont have to do it?
Everything you are seeing is just normal behaviour. You are just interpreting and twisiting it because you think you love him.
You dont, it is a crush and in a few years time you will look back and wonder what on earth you were thinking!
How old is he? When you are his age, you will NEVER look at a 15 year old and want to have a relationship with them. They are children (whether you like it or not)and behave like children.
As a teacher, I can tell you, that we are warned and taught about student crushes. This is a VERY serious part of teaching, and if it gets out of hand can not only ruin your teaching career, but also your life.
Sadly there are kids who will tell tales about teachers because they fancy them. They make up stories in the belief that the teacher loves them back and wants to have a relationship with them, and the teacher is always guilty until proven innocent because YOU are children. Teachers have been dragged thru the courts and prosecuted because children lie and make up stories because they desperately believe they are in love with their teacher and the make believe takes over. Lives are ruined, marriages destroyed, children left with divorced parents all because silly teenage girls and boys cant grasp the reality of a situation.
On the other hand, there are teachers who do take advantage, and they do abuse their positions of power, and those teachers deserve to have the book thrown at them! The teachers that are sexual predators are not looking for love, they are looking for power and sex. These people are dangerous, and need to be kept well away from children.
Sadly, in this day and age, ALL teachers have to be seen to be squeaky clean. If you do ANYTHING that could cast doubt on this teacher, he could be investigated.
Go for someone your own age. I know teenage boys are idiots, but honestly, you are better learning and growing with one of those.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I know how you feel,I am "inlove" with my teacher,butsadly I know nothing will ever happen until I leave school next year and ask him myself. Do the same if you wish but dont put his job at risk
...............................
A
female
reader, Britney1922 +, writes (14 December 2010):
I have dated my assistant teacher before. However I was 18. Which is of course legal age. You are not even at the legal age of sexual consent. If you pursue this you may get him in alotof trouble, fired or in jail. When I dated my assistane teacher we txted during school and stuff but we never really talked in person until school was out. It was my senior year so he was no longer my teacher! That's really the only way to handle something like that.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2010):
I didn't like any of my teachers. But I did have a friend who fancied a teacher and took it further.
He got sent to prison, had to sign the sex offender's register and can't ever work near anyone under the age of 18.
She wound up expelled.
So, all in all, it was a disaster for everyone concerned.
99% of the time, student's who have crushes see more than is there. That's what you're doing. You think he looks at you more, you think he takes more notice, you think he placed his hand on the chair for a reason other than just to support himself. You#re not the only one to do it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a crush, and crushes aren't a bad thing. Enjoy your crush for what it is - a crush that can go nowhere.
But never let it go further, unless you want to wind up watching him go to prison whilst you lose any chance of a future because you're expelled.
...............................
A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (14 December 2010):
Absolute normal feelings, teachers have to be used to it, it belongs to their profession. But to realize this attraction can be terrible dangerous for him.
...............................
|
