A
female
age
26-29,
*oveexD
writes:Okay, So i am in 8th grade. About 3 months ago i was talking to a freshman (9th grade) that i really liked. He had dated some of the hottest girls in school so i felt like i was dreaming, no i couldnt really be talking to him. He was sweet and always asked for pictures. He called me babe , and i decided that i was going to do all i could to get him. He told me that when i got to high school he would date me. The pictures werent bad but i didnt wear pants or shirt. ;+st my bra and that stuff. i was scared but after the first few i was comfy. Once i had sent enough i guess to please him, he told me that he needed to focus on his sports. He has a rep of getting around, so i was nervous. He hasnt talked to me in three months, and i always get sad about him. Should i wait, or move on?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 December 2010):
 at least you have sound goals and know your direction. Take care.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Sorry Hunnie! I had a Mom who was pretty much useless teaching me about relationships too... I can see why you would think that being important to a boy at any cost comes from watching what your Mom has spent her life chasing after men.
I think that you got some great advice here about not having to do this to get a good guy to be interested in you. It's a crime that you don't have any guidance in an age where every media possible is encouraging sex at too young an age and not placing value on our young girls; sex too soon can really reek havoc on your self-esteem and your own sexuality is something that should be valued by you. Even my sister put her kid on the pill at 16 and I'm not even sure she told her about men and relationships; of course, she slept with the guy and he dumped her...
Lets put it this way - sex is for making babies. If you don't have any intention of being a teenage Mom - you should probably be hanging around in groups of 4 or 5 girls and 4 or 5 guys - going to movies, hanging out, going to parties; etc. It's fine to have a (casual) boyfriend, but Sex is NOT a prerequisite for having or keeping a boyfriend! Guys do tend to pressure you for sex when you are exclusive boyfriend/girlfriends AND it IS up to YOU to put your foot down and say NO if you aren't ready. A good Boyfriend will respect you. So as you can see, Dating is for when you are old enough to start considering settling down and getting a "partner in life". SOOoooooo, sex and dating should probable wait until college.
Sex should be the ultimate decision for you - pregnancy can always happen, even with two forms of birth control (always use condoms until you get married), and if it did happen, it should only be with someone that you would consider being the father of your children. At least; these are the things that I explained to MY daughter.
Hugs and I wish you the best - I think it's great that you have such a wonderful love of horses and good luck with college.
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A
female
reader, LoveexD +, writes (16 December 2010):
LoveexD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wiould love to live with my dad, But i would be moving schools. Na di cant do that. I ride horses and focus my life on my horse and education so i am not moving and changing that. Plus i am going into early collgege and i am not giving up that ! Thanks you guys(:
And it does suck when mom puts me last but, eh im used to it.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 December 2010):
Your welcome. Just a thought. If you're able and get along with your dad, is it possible for you to relocate and stay with him? It doesn't seem as home life with your mom is that great for you. I couldn't imagine what it's like to feel as if she's putting you second. If not, keep your head up and remember that ultimately you determine who you will become.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I can't believe a mother could do that to her child, you are a brave girl and you will find someone that will respect you and treat you how you deserve. Good luck. And don't let your mom get you down, everything happens for a reason.
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A
female
reader, LoveexD +, writes (15 December 2010):
LoveexD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys SO much(:
And to the one that said talk to my mom, My mom doesnt care. She has always put men first and will do anything even if it means writing me off. She told me just the other day that i needed to leave if i couldnt learn to get alond with her 4hth husband.
And my daddy lives far alway and i dont see him much.
But thank you all(:
It makes me happy to think that people that dont even know my name have confidence that i can find someone(:
Thank you guuys(:
33
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 December 2010):
Just don't take any more pics.
I don't think the cops will round you up, but I wanted you to know the law so you aren't tempted if a guy asks for more next time. It's hard being a teen, and wanting a guys attention, but sending pictures is not how to get it. When a guy really likes you, he'll ask you to hang out or show signs he does, without asking you to do anything for him. This is what you want to look for and how you want to begin a new friendship.
Don't be upset it wound up being this way with him. Write it off as something you learned from, and plan to not fall for the same with anyone else. Just be yourself always, and you will find the guy that likes that.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (15 December 2010):
OMG, I thought you were 18-21. !3-15? WOW! Way too young to be even thinking of doing things like this Hunnie! You need to talk to your Mom about relationships, boys, sex and get her advice on things, in all honesty. Trust me, she wasn't born in the dark ages, and she will let you know when you are doing things that are going to result in you being used be someone else. Actions can have long term consequences; and at your age, you need to slow way down. It's not necessary to do this to prove to a boy that you are cool or you like him.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (14 December 2010):
Don't ever let a guy pressure you to send pics of yourself to him of you nude or in your underwear. It sounds like that is all he wanted from you and now he has them. Your pics are out there and God only knows how many people have seen them.
Don't go after guys who ask you for naked pics or who get upset when you refuse to send them. Ever. He should understand why you don't want to and if he doesn't, then he isn't worth your time.
The cops aren't going to chase you down, he is only a grade a head of you and they weren't naked pictures, but still pretty illicit.
Move on and find someone who respects you.
Good luck sweetie.
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A
female
reader, LoveexD +, writes (14 December 2010):
LoveexD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTahnk
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Firstly, you are underage and you don't want those pictures getting around. This guy basically got what he wanted and dropped you. It happens i'm afraid and it's best to just forget him.
Hopefully this has taught you a lesson. Never ever send pictures like that to anyone because who knows where they could end up. He will probably show them to his friends and boast about how he got you to send him pictures.
Guys like that are not worth the trouble and now you've seen what kind of guy he really is. Learn from it and move on.
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A
female
reader, LoveexD +, writes (14 December 2010):
LoveexD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, (:
Thanks love.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 December 2010):
You won't be tracked down by the cops.
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female
reader, LoveexD +, writes (14 December 2010):
LoveexD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut now i feel like i am going to be tracked down by the cops since its illegal.!
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A
female
reader, LoveexD +, writes (14 December 2010):
LoveexD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst off, i want to thank ALL of yall(: That made me feel so good knowing that people that donte even know my name, Cnan tell me i deserve better. No more pics (:
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 December 2010):
I agree with the other posters. I did want to add that there is a legal side to your sending pictures as well. You are a minor, and you know it's illegal for provocative pics to be taken, viewed and sent of anyone under the age of 18. I have seen a few cases where a girl gets talked into sending pics of herself, where she has to register as a sex offender for distribution, and the recipient, generally the same age, has to as well for receipt of explicit pictures. I know just in your underwear is not as explicit that may rise to such legal issues, but I want you to consider that in the future.
I am worried where you say that you will do what it takes to get him. How far does "what it takes go?" You will find a good relationship doesn't happen because of how much you do to get him, but it happens because the guy who you're with is there because he likes you. Don't ever get into one where you have to do such and such to get him to like you. If you do, the foundation is built off false reasons and it will lead to heart break.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2010):
You need to learn from this - never send pictures like that. There are two very good reasons for this.
1 - Now they're out there, and you're exposed. Anyone can see those pictures.
2 - Guys are very picky about the women they choose. We're more likely to choose the girl who leaves us with an air of mystery than one who gives it all away.
I'm afraid that this guy just wanted the photos and nothing else, and now they could be out there. I would distance yourself from this guy and hope the don't get out. And don't let guys treat you this way again. No guy really respects a woman who throws herself at them.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (14 December 2010):
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Never send pictures! They stay out there in never-never land for ever and ever and they are TOTALLY out of your control now!!! You can't stop the ones that you have already sent, but you can STOP doing this NOW and not take any in the future!!! It might not bother you now; but it might bother your future employer! Or, your future college applications department! OR your future Husband!!!!!
You have this all backwards anyways! Guys are supposed to chase YOU and try to WIN your affections, not the other way around. Boys and men very much value the things that they work hard for, and they don't respect girls who throw themselves at them. I don't make the rules and I didn't invent them; I just tell it like it is...
Sorry you are hurting over the jerk, but I think it's time to cut your losses and move on. He used you for your gullibility and the photos; so don't get sad! Get mad and get over him! Find a new boy who treats you like a lady - you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (14 December 2010):
 he just used your pictures to jerk off to, which is why he manipulated you into thinkin there was more to you two, but then happened to slip in something about sending pictures all the time. don't associate with this guy, if you're willing to strip half naked for a guy you talk to sometimes, he probably doesn't have much respect for you anyway and I would not be surprised if he sent those photos around to get his boys to get a laugh (or get off, don't know). Treat your body as a temple. Guys gotta EARN that kind of exposure, don't just give it away for free.
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A
female
reader, Maria-consuela +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Move on!
And please don't ever feel like you have to send a boy racy pictures of yourself in order to please him. I know it may have seemed like a great way to get him interested but the truth is, it is YOU (Your personality, your sense of humour) that will keep a boy interested longterm.
Short-term the pictures may attract a boy, but once he has the pictures in his head he has already gotten what he wants. Boys at your age do not possess the maturity level to understand that you sending those pictures meant you truly liked them, chances are he'll think that this is something you commonly do, or will not feel the need to pursue you further once he has gotten the pictures.
Unfortunately when you are dating so young the old adage tends to ring true, "Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free"..
You need to move on, focus your energy on yourself and realize that you ARE good enough to be cared about and loved by someone when you are ready and when the time is right. You can't force it, and you can't seduce a boy into liking you. You are worth liking and if he doesn't show you that he appreciates you or isn't giving you the time of day you shouldn't waste one more moment of your time.
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