A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so i have a bit of a problem. my ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 5 months ago ans only about a week later she was seeing someone new. the thing is that her relationship progressed quickly and went as far as telling him she loved him and having sex with him and they had a whole future planned together after about 2 and a half months of being together. they were friends for a while tho before that happened. the thing is althroughout that we kinda kept dating but she was with the guy still. anyways..they were about to move in together and i stopped talking to her completely. after about 2 weeks of no contact she came back to me and told me everything she did was a huge mistake and im the one she really loves. i still love her and ive always loved her so i really dont know what to do. weve started dating again but it bothers the crap out of me because we were together for a year before we did anything sexual and this guy got in her pants after only 2 months of being with her. will anyone tell me what they think of this or what they would do in this situation? she said she stopped talking to him and she told him what they were doing wasnt right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): if i was in your place that i would be uneasy whit what that girl did to you rather than worry what she did with the other guy.
This give you an idea of what she is capable for in the future. Move on and be happy or you shall have this stress at all times
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): It seems to me like she was seeing that guy whilst the pair of you were together. I think because you cut all contact with her (which was the right thing to do) she came crawling back because it suddenly 'hit' her what she done, and realised she misses you.
I wouldn't fall for it. You're just leading yourself into a trap and going to get hurt, again. You should quit it before you get in too deep again.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 December 2010):
I'm not a person who believes that getting back with ex's is a good idea. And I am more often proved right than I am wrong about that.
When it comes down to it, your ex threw away a three year relationship for another guy. Within a week, she was with that guy, and she was there saying she loved him and they'de even planned their future out together.
So, in your best interests, you cut contact. Smart man. (That's what I did with an ex that did this to me - or attempted to).
And now, she's come back to you and claims it's all a mistake and that you're the one she really loved. Forgive my sceptical nature, but I've heard that one many times before, and it's always lead to more heartache.
If she thought that highly of you, and really loved you, why did she never speak to you about problems in the relationship?
If she loved you, why dump you, then within a week go out with this other guy (unless that was how she planned it)?
And what really happened that split them up?
See, I think you're her safety net. I think she went with this guy and when it didn't work out, she came back to you. And I think the moment another guy comes along, she'll do it again. She's already proved herself to be someone who is prone to making snap decisions that lack sense. She'll make more of these decisions, and you'll get hurt again.
Out with the old, in with the new. There's a girl out there who actually won't treat you this way.
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A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (15 December 2010):
 It worries me a great deal what she cheated on this guy with you behind his back - how can you be sure she isnt now doing the same to you or wont, at some point in the future?
I think your concerns over how quickly she hopped in his bed or told him she loved him are irrelevant here. Everybody is different, every relationship is different.
The thing to focus on is her deceit - once a cheat always a cheat - although not always true, its certainly something that will play on your mind and probably destroy the relationship one day anyway.
If youre mind is made up about staying with her, forget this other guy and her feelings for him and concentrate on you two. Endless questions either to her or in your mind will just drive you nuts no matter what the answers are.
If you can trust her and she can behave, of course you have a chance toghether but I have to stay, this "hiccup" isnt exactly a good sign is it?
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