A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I dont know if its me but i think my girlfriend is kinda very selfish. I'm an artist and I need to keep my skills up in all sections I deal with. When i'm drawing or doing something in general she feels to be all affectionate, shes not like this when im idle. If I do this to her while shes on facebook, she hits me and shouts and tells me to go away. She barely even speaks to me at the best of times. If I try to speak to her I get a kind of grunt from her because talking is "too much effort" to her. And finally I pay the rent and the electric bills the whole time and she doesnt even offer me a cent, we have been living together for the last 7 months and she paid half of the rent for 4 weeks out of the 7 months. The rent I dont mind as much but its the electricity bill that bothers me. She uses an electric heater, which is very heavy on electricity and she keeps it on most of the day. If I ask her to turn it off she just says that she would be cold. I constantly tell her that she wouldnt be cold if she wore proper clothes instead of her pajamas. I dont know if its just me but I feel i'm being used. Can anyone lend their own opinions. My 4 questions-1-Is she selfish?2-Am I being used?3-Does anyone think she cares?4-Does my relationship sound like its in trouble or god forbid, over?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all...I know I'm late getting back to ye but yea that relationship went down the toilet 6 months later...Turns out she was more horrible than the picture I painted of her...Oh well what can ya do
Thanks again
M.
A
male
reader, Orvus  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Sounds just like my mom. If that's just selfishness, it could easily lead to full-blown narcissism. I know the long term consequences of such behaviour, and my dad does too. Just because she doesn't do anything, doesn't mean she's harmless. The more she gets used to getting things without giving anything in return, the more she'll ask for. You did everything you could, now just run away.
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A
female
reader, Zonee +, writes (16 December 2010):
 1- does she do anything for you? get you a drink when you want to relax, surprise you with dinner, leaves you notes telling you how much you mean to her? a true selfish person never does anything for others.
2- you are being used, if you have told her all the things you are not happy with and she does not try to improve on those things. she is using you.
3- she cares for you, if she did not she would never be affectionate. does she care for you as much as you need her to? that is the question - answer no you need more.
4- I think over
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A
female
reader, sandiie  +, writes (16 December 2010):
she is just the kinda of girl that thinks alot about herself and less of other people but if you all is leaving together she should sort of think as a team and not by herself and you need to tell her the way that you feel about everything that is going on so you can talk about about it so you all can work out you differences..............hope things work out for the better good luck
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (16 December 2010):
 1. She is pretty monstrously selfish. And lazy. And a whole host of other things.
2. She is using you more out of laziness that anything else, i think.
3. Can't see much evidence of caring, but she is probably just behaving with you the way she does with her family - so you are intimately accepted in that sense, I guess.
4. No, not in trouble, and not over - just plateauing in a bad way, that could last for years, if not decades. Sounds like a half-sour marriage, which can go on forever ...
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 In response to your questions:
1. YES
2. You certainly are, sorry to say
3. If she does care, she's doing an excellent job of
hiding it
4. In trouble - yes; over? not yet, but soon will be
if you know what's good for you.
Sorry to hear you're going through all this.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 December 2010):
1 - Yes, she's selfish. Also violent, untrustworthy and a drama queen.
2 - You better believe you're being used.
3 - She clearly doesn't care about anything else but her own interests.
4 - Oh, it's in trouble all right. The problem is that it's not over, because she'll just keep right on using you until you dump her.
I would seriously end this relationship.
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A
female
reader, Dazed'n confused  +, writes (15 December 2010):
well, since u're saying "god forbid over?" then i doubt it is cuz u're not personally willing to let go it seems. as to her being selfish, sorry to shock u buddy but i think she really is. she wants u all to herself whenever she wants which is obviously selfish behavior. why doesn't she want u when u're available but only when u're doing ur own thing then? i do feel u're kind of being used sorry to break it to u, and about her caring well i don't know if she cares per say but i think she just likes being in control, manipulating u and being totally possessive. u shouldn't be feeling bad, but maybe instead confront her about it. don't let urself be used, i do all the time and it feels like crap..hope things get better for u, good luck
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