A
male
age
41-50,
*by1
writes:once a womans trust is gone is that it? game over? how can trust be regained. how can you show a woman you mean what you say even though she doesnt believe a word you say. how can you show a woman youve changed if she wont even see you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Chaela13  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Heyy, dont just give up. i know im only 13 but my mom and dad had the same problem... mom walked out on dad mutipal times an refused to come back.... but she did..... dont give up. my parents are back togeather and accually in love and theres 100% trust. (me and my mom are really close so yess i know all this for a fact)
A
male
reader, tby1 +, writes (14 December 2010):
tby1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question well thats it, the selfish cow has told me this evening that 'im not getting back with you'
so thats it, age 34, life over and finished with. never again will i let myself get hurt or close to another woman. she has thrown away close to 7 years for nothing.totally disgusted by her, i keep getting told your very attractive and sexy by other women, but i dont want them, and nor do i believe them now, cos the only woman i want doesnt want me, so my lifes a total failure
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 People do deserve a chance - as in ONE chance. From your other posts I have seen that you broke her trust TWICE.
You made a mistake, she forgave you, you promised you were not gonna do it again, you did it again.
Forgiving a first time is sort of mandatory- a second is quite optional and you can't be so surprised if your ex can't feel in her heart to forgive you AGAIN.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2010):
FOCUS!
Here are your priorities.
1 - Keep a job.
2 - Get a lawyer
3 - Get access to your kids.
Way down in fourth place is your girlfriend, and last is what you feel about losing your family and home. If your wife is treating your this way, then you must have screwed up on a big level.
Stop thinking 'why should I lose..." and do something about it.
Your first, biggest priority is that you keep a job so you can make sure your kids are kept properly, and that you can get a lawyer. If you don't get that part of your act together, your own children will start to believe your a loser father and not want anything to do with you. And any judge will happily agree.
Being single is the least of your problems. Losing the respect of your children is the biggest. You won't stand a chance if you don't get it together, get seeing your children and keep a job.
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A
male
reader, tby1 +, writes (14 December 2010):
tby1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI already know its my fault but people deserve a chance. Why should I lose everything from my family to my home? I've lost 5 jobs this year cos I can't focus on anything else. I've never been single since I was 17, I don't know what to do with myself[mod note: edited for language]
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (14 December 2010):
 If you don't know how your partner can be so hurtful, then she is probably thinking the same about you?
Why were you flirting when you are in a relationship and have children?...why would you do that to someone you love?
Do you realise how painful and damaging that is to your partner and your kids?
It is NOT for her to find it in her heart to forgive you...it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, to assess your behaviour and stop doing things that cause your partner pain and worry. It is then your responsibility to make things right, assure her that you will never cheat again (and yes it is cheating). If you can't promise to do this and mean it with all your heart, then you need to let her go, so she can find someone who loves her and doesn't treat her like a fool.
This is ALL your fault, you need to get busy. If it is game over...then that's just tough shit!!
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A
male
reader, sanger5467 +, writes (14 December 2010):
Look, everyone has said or done something shameful and/ painful to the person they love or to someone else--let's be honest. This idea that "I can't trust you" --including infidelity, is nonsense. People have to be more forgiving and quit expecting perfection--it doesn't exist. Apologize sincerely, ask for forgiveness, and don't repeat your mistake!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2010):
At least get a solicitor to sort out the mess about your kids. She has no right to stop you seeing them, and her doing that shows her up a bit. Work on being a father right now, rather than wasting time on a woman so hell bent on destroying you and your kids.
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A
male
reader, tby1 +, writes (14 December 2010):
tby1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have 2 sons,and 5 step daughters between us. ive messed around flirting but thats all on texts and emails. things just dont seem to be getting any better, infact worse, cos the more i go on asking wtf is happening to us she dont reply. im off work today and have asked to see my sons, just totally ignored me. i really dont know how some women can be so hurtful and especially using our sons.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2010):
I've read articles on here from women and men who have been cheated on, say, 20 years previously. And 20 years on, there is still a lack of trust.
The truth is, once someone has been lied to or betrayed, there is nearly always a lack of trust. Over time, things can be fixed to an extent if both are willing to work at it, and sometimes the relationship even gets better. But there will always be a lack of trust, or a small doubt.
If this particular woman is making it her mission not to see you, then what you had is over. To make anything work, you both need to want to make it work. And I don't think she does.
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