A
male
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anonymous
writes:hi all, im 29 years old, got a little girl who i love more than anyone (14 months old)sometimes this is the problem with me and my girlfriend of 3 years. i dont look at her in the same way anymore.not because i dont fancy her or something, its just, shes really nasty to our baby girl. like if the baby go's to sleep at 4pm and gets up at 5pm (after she wakes her). And when she crys she tells her to shut up or be quiet i dont want to hear it. my girlfriend then will try to get the baby to sleep at 7pm. and when she's wide awake and want to play my girlfriend will stress at her. when i say "want me to have her" its, "no cause she will only play for you." so she slap her hand and bum to make her go to sleep. i cant stand it sometimes i stress at my girlfriend sometimes because of this matterwhat can i do ? i love my little girl so muchand dont want her to cry at me because shes scared of her own mum. thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (17 April 2011):
 Agree with previous comments.
Your girlfriend is suffering from Post Natal Depression, left untreated it could lead to serious child abuse or worse!
Take your girlfriend to see a doctor to get the necessary helps she needs to get better. Not her choice to go, this is serious and urgent!!!
Meanwhile, help her by spending time with your baby girl, take time off if you have to! Again not a choice, this is the best you can do for both of them right now.
Call the doctor today!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 April 2011):
Your girlfriend needs psychological help, fast. And you need to speak to doctors about her behaviour, and what you can do to protect your child. Your daughter has to come first, so get to it and speak to a doctor, and perhaps also a solicitor if nothing changes. for what it's worth, it might be that your girlfriend is suffering from post natal depression. But whatever the reason, this is abuse and you need to protect your daughter.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 This is called child abuse. You need to step in and find a way to get some kind of intervention and help for your girlfriend. For some reason she doesn't understand the role of nurturing mother.
If this is your daughter too, then why do you have to ask if you can take care of your daughter. Just do it. The child needs love and attention from a nurturing parent.
The child abuse will only escalate. 1) Keep your baby out of harms way (harm is her mother) 2) Get your girlfriend help.
If you really love your little girl, you won't hesitate.
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female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (17 April 2011):
 that is child abuse! it is illegal to smack yoru child, and especially a 14 motn old BABY. you need to get her away from her, and quickly. Things like this can really affect a child in later life. I'm doing psychology and seriously this can really affect your daughter when shes growing up, i suggest you look up Freud's aspects of personality.This woman is going to scar your child. Your baby doesnt know why shes being hit, she doesnt understand and that will make her feel worthless when shes older. You need to stop her from doing this, do whatever it takes to keep your child safe. I'd leave her and take your child away from her. Legally if you have to. This woman is hurting your child because she wont SLEEP, when its her fault in the first place for waking her up. get your baby away from her.
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male
reader, macdubh712 +, writes (17 April 2011):
Well, first and foremost, you are your child's advocate! If you feel that she is being mistreated it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY and OBLIGATION to ensure that your daughter does not get mistreated. I don't care if it is your GF whos is doing it. If she is misreating your daughter get in her a** about it. Now, that said, you need to talk to your GF about why she is doing this. Is she depressed? Was your daughter unplanned? Are there other stress factors? It does not suprise me that your daughter doesn't to play with her mother, being treated like that. Some of the circumstances are kind of unclear but from what I can tell it seems like GF applies corporal punishment when it is not warranted. Slapping or popping a child because they won't go to sleep is W-R-O-N-G. That will do nothing but get them more upset, prolonging the time it takes them to go to sleep. My wife and I have a great marriage and she is a great mother but we all know that kids do try your patience sometimes. Well, there has been an occasion here and there where my wife got to her wits end and told our son to "shut up." Well, yelling at a child to shut up does not sit well with me so I called her out on it and told her, in a tactful way, not tell him to "shut up." You're going to need to get a hold of your GF because this teetering on child abuse; some would probably argue that it is. Not meaning this statement with any malice but just trying to advise you. You're a man. BE one. Be your daughter's advocate.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (17 April 2011):
 Hmmmm it's obvious your GF resents the child and id be surprised if this was a planned pregnancy. Id also be surprised if she wanted the child. I wonder whether this decision was taken properly but hey-ho, what is done is done and now this issue has to be dealt with. If it's not this there is another possibility - your GF feels neglected, you talk of your child in such glowing tones I can imagine how she may feel that way. This isnt a sin of course, its healthy to love your child in this way BUT you must also not do so in a way that damages your relationship. You need to talk to your GF and get to the bottom of this urgently because she's going to scar the kid and since the kid is an innocent who has done nothing to deserve this I find this highly unjust.You have to sit her down and talk this through - try not to be aggressive or accusatory though because you will just get one back and generate more heat than light. If she didnt want the kid then you have a truly serious problem which has no easy solutions. If, however, it is the latter problem and your GF merely feels a little unloved then the solutions are relatively simple and you can fix it quite easily by showering her with affection and trying to create some time for you and her. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
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