A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner says he is over his ex. He has no photos. no mementos, does not speak to her, does not email her, and he has often said (on me asking) that he never thinks about her. Also, when she does come up (I bring her up btw) he is usually negative in his tone but he is not disrespectful towards her- as in no swearing, he doesnt call her bad names. he is very...apathetic. When we started dating about four years ago, he would mention stories about his ex. Just random stuff, nothing too deep but the odd story here and there, usually when I asked about his past life. However, they broke up because she cheated and I do know that he really disliked her for that and he was hurt and betrayed. They were together a good few years and lived togehter and I know he loved her. Is it possible to be so apathetic about someone you once shared your life with? I thought he might be angry or bitter still or at least still feel something. I am not apathetic about my exes (one I hate with a passion whilst the other I am very very fond of as we shared a life and made plans to have children). Guys, help?!
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male
reader, RRJ +, writes (18 March 2013):
I have read all of the posts and the correct answer is the x bF has apathy towards his x gf because her character doesn't meet his requirements as friend.
For instance as person she is not someone that he would want to trust or are depend on.
He sounds like a smart man.
A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Sounds to me he forced himself to be apathetic as means of blocking out the situation. Chances are he is still hurt and just doesn't want to deal with it. Don't expect him to open up and pour out his heart to you either. It could happen but do not expect it. It sounds to me he just wants this all to blow over and move on.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Thats exactly how one should feel about an ex. When you become indifferent about them, it means you have moved on from them...for GOOD. It means not holding on to any resentment, anger, feelings(good or bad), having no expectations, and basically not having anything to do with them. That is "moving on" in the real sense.
You should be happy he's in this place! Its a healthy approach towards life and the mature way to move ahead.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Sounds like you're the one not over your exes. When you're over an ex, you are apathetic towards them (i.e. you have no passion, good or bad anymore). You don't care about them anymore. So feel lucky he's over his ex. He should be wary that you're still thinking about yours...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): I don't know if it's normal for him to keep all of that stuff nor do any of us. Some do some don't.For me I'm a male 45 and I have every single every one of the letters, tapes etc. That any gal has ever gave or sent to me.Why do I keep these because they have been a part of my life. They have helped me get to this point in my life.If it wasn't for her you may not have been in his life.Enjoy the time you. If thinks don't work out you will always know he kept the things. But it will workout he LOVES YOU not them. Trust me on that. When people like us our love is very very special.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Yes it is, entirely possible.
I am in this situation and I was married to her. I worked very hard to put a very painful past behind me and wish that other people could see that it was over too.
All credit to your BF for managing to do it, it's not easy
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A
female
reader, Smileypants +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Yes it's possible....means he already grieved the relationship and has moved on. That's good!! Quit bringing her up, girl!! Lol
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (25 April 2011):
Yes, very normal and very possible. The fact that he is apathetic towards them means that he knows and understands that that part of his life is over and he is fine with it. It's in the past and he is living in the present now, with you. The fact that you hate one of your exes with a passion shows that you aren't entirely over your past and are still on some level thinking about it.
Once you've ended things with someone, no matter how badly, it doesn't necessarily stick with you for the rest of your life. He may have been bitter and angry and upset when it happened, but time has passed and those feelings kind of just fade away. You forget how you felt back then, life moves on and he doesn't feel the need to think about her at all anymore. Perfectly normal. In fact, you bringing her up is simply going to make him think about her more. Enjoy the fact that he has moved on.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 April 2011):
He's completely over her. This is how I feel about my ex's, and it's the best place to be in. No anger, no resentment, no so called 'unfinished business' or anything.
Feeling this way is the only true test as to whether you're over an ex, or at least over a situation with an ex.
Be thankful!
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A
female
reader, cupidus +, writes (25 April 2011):
 I hear ya. Wondering if you're the next one to disappear without meaning a damned thing.
Well, I'll let you in. That's a man that either has zero heart or is a narcissist. But that's rare but you can still read up on it.
On the other hand he's being so careful with your feelings because he's crazy about you that he is downsizing all the other women in his life.
Only time will tell. But I do definitely understand your doubts.
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A
female
reader, mandybaby21 +, writes (25 April 2011):
i wonder why you even asked this question. You should be HAPPY that his ex isnt on his mind. Especially since you and him have been together for 4 years. He has moved on from her, BE HAPPY!
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