A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend n I have been going out for about 4 months now. Everything was going great, we both were happy n life couldn’t have been much better. About 2 weeks ago she told me "she thinks she loves me" n that "I am perfect for her." She was crazy about me n wanted to see me every night. I felt the same way... then last week we had spring break n I saw her on Monday n everything was the same until I saw her on Wednesday when things seemed different. I left for my brother’s house for the weekend and I started feeling like she was losing interest for me n so I asked her "if everything is okay?" n she replied that "she was feeling that God was telling her that things weren't going to work out." She said "she still loves me n cares for me but wants to be friends for now." Also, that "she isn't interested in anyone else it's just that urge to follow what she feels God is telling her and to find out what God has planned for her." She said that "she has rushed into all of her relationships one after another without any time to figure out for herself." I was really hurt n very confused because I didn't know what went wrong?! She said “she doesn’t want to change the Facebook status right now or officially break-up right now; just to be sure she is making the right decision." We have been like this for about a week now and everything seems fine... we see each other every day and act pretty much the same just less relationship stuff etc. n everyone else still sees us in the relationship n we haven't told anyone. She still wears all of the gifts I gave her and my hoodie. We haven't hung out together since the "break-up" but we still txt each other almost as much as before...What do you think?Thanks
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male
reader, mpsooner +, writes (18 April 2011):
Hey dude,I would distant yourself and give her some space. Don't respond to texts or anything for a while. Give her time to miss you and realize she is about to make a huge mistake. Then at some point figure out a romantic way to spice things up. Another thing i would suggest is to talk to a counselor. Also be patient. Patience goes a long way. After you give her some time i would sit down with her and have a serious conversation about where you stand with her.Good luck and keep us updated.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): I second CaringGuy...I would respect this woman so much more (and I think you would too) if she told you her own thoughts on the relationship.
Once you start indulging her messages via God, she will likely use the phrase "God told me..." whenever she doesn't want to take responsibility for her own feelings and opinions. This sounds like a poor way of letting you down gently.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (18 April 2011):
 Ok: first things first: if she is not being hormonally controlled (ie, not on the pill/injection/whatever), then what she says this week will be slightly different than what she says next week, really quite different than what she says the week after, and wildly opposite to what she says the week after that ... I am a woman of some experience now, and I can tell you this is true.
Women do have several days where they see everything in the worst light and want to break everything off.
Two weeks after that, they have a few days where everything is incredibly rosy and perfect and optimistic.
This is the way we are, unfortunately. Bloody difficult sometimes to deal with in oneself, but certainly useful to bear in mind when dealing with a female.
So: she has got cold feet for some reason, but I also think that she may come back to her senses. I think you should romance her a bit and tell her not to be so uptight - you've only been together 4 months - it all seems great - why knock it? You need to at once take off any pressure and also make her see the appeal of the relationship.
Give it a try. This is one where I think there is still a lot of hope ...
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A
female
reader, moethuzaraye +, writes (17 April 2011):
I think she is not sure what she want. Sometime woman need time. May be she feel confuse and she don't wanna push you away either.So, she just wanna be friend now on then she gonna decided what she really want and tell you. Something ever comes up you will be the first person to know. So, its up to you. You still wanna wait her or you want to move on. Remember listen to your heart. But don't let nobody to use your feeling.If I were you I will give her some time. May be couple months.If things not change I will move on. There has many woman out there to love you and care about you. Not only one that hurt you and use you. So, its all about you now. You want to move on or give her sometime.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 This is what her God tells her. What if your God tells you patience is worth it?
You can call God anything. A nagging voice, a hunch, a worry. This could be a sign that she is feeling vulnerable, fears getting hurt because she is falling deeper for you. Some people think the only way to feel less pressured is to break things off. A gentler approach could be asking for more space and time, rather than just killing all hopes because one feels emotional at that time. If you like her, understand what she's going through and if you don't have other girls in mind, think about whether being her friend is worth your time.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 I agree with Caring.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 April 2011):
Two words - move on.
Not because she believes in God, but because she's using it against you and keeping you around like a spare tyre. I don't trust people like that.
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