| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Am I out of line expecting more out of my mate?
Q. Me and my fiance are having problems ever since I asked her to marry me. First it was the ring, she wants something bigger and more expensive. Its hard for me because I am unemployed. Second she constantly points out things that are wrong and things ...
A. 17 February 2011: I'm afraid her response says all you need to know about her. Quit drinking and dump her and move on. ASAP. ... (read in full...)
Do I ask her too many questions?
Q. I'm currently becoming very close and developing feelings for a lady older and more experienced than me. She is 32, me 26, I am a virgin, she has had 2 long relationships, I have never had one, she is the first girl i have ever had deep feelings ...
A. 16 February 2011: I myself am dating an older woman. When we first met and got to know each other, she said to me that she'd answer anything except anything to do with her past. I agreed to that. We've been happy for 2 years, and I don't care about her past at all. ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time with this lad whose ex girlfriend still lives with him?
Q. were both 17 btw x i met a lad at boxing a few months ago, and weve always had abit of chemistry. recently last month he inboxed me giving me his number because he quit the gym. weve been texting ever since, he comes into my work at his break jus...
A. 16 February 2011: You're being used, if ever a woman was.
His girlfriend lives with him, but they're not together. Instead, she lives with him because they're close and she's involved with his family? Sounds to me like he's still with her and is just after chea... (read in full...)
My on/off girlfriend wants us to sleep with others. I'm not sure how to feel about this
Q. im a 33 year old male and have had a on/off relationship with my 27 year old girlfriend for 4 years,our last break up was 8 months but have been seeing each other more casually for 3 months,we do love each other but tried living together and it ...
A. 16 February 2011: I think this shows just how flawed your relationship really is. You've been on/off for years, you've tried to live together and that failed, you claim to love each other but she wants to sleep with others etc.
Basically, she's not into this at all.... (read in full...)
For male : what do you think about a virgin girl..?
Q. For male : what do you think about a girl 23 years old and still virgin?? Well, that is me. This May i will 23 years old. And i am still virgin because i want to give my virginity to my husband in our first night.. Is that weird..? If you can choos...
A. 16 February 2011: It won't matter to the right man. He'll just love you. Don't worry at all. In fact, it's likely men will like you more for being a virgin.... (read in full...)
Am I out of line expecting more out of my mate?
Q. Me and my fiance are having problems ever since I asked her to marry me. First it was the ring, she wants something bigger and more expensive. Its hard for me because I am unemployed. Second she constantly points out things that are wrong and things ...
A. 16 February 2011: If she's expecting bigger diamonds, dinners out (even though you ask), you to spend all that time with her family but not with yours etc whilst you're unemployed, can you imagine what it will be like when you do get a job.
Face facts here - this... (read in full...)
I want to mess around with my girlfriend's friend!
Q. So me and my girlfriends bestfriend were talking via text messaging and i told her a deep secret, i told her i masturbate. She said she did too. Its really awkward now because i want to masturbate with my girlfriends best friend. What the hell ...
A. 16 February 2011: You should have enough respect for your girlfriend and end it with her before you hurt her or cheat. If you can't do that, then you're not worthy of any woman. As for this other girl, would you trust a girl ready to stab her own friend in the back?... (read in full...)
My daughter broke up with the one I thought was "the one" and I can't get past it
Q. Not sure why I feel this way but something is obviously wrong. My daughter dated this boy for two years. I definately thought he was "the one". She broke it off with him suddenly and he was devastated. I did everything to try to get them back ...
A. 16 February 2011: You got on with him, that's why this has bothered you.
But, whether you like it or not, or right or not, you can't control who your daughter sees. She has to be able to make her own decision about the guy she wants in her life. And she simply does... (read in full...)
Going to Uni has killed my love of art and my parents just don't see it!
Q. I don't know if it's a phase or if I'm genuinely somewhat depressed at Uni, I did really well on my art course at college and quite fancied going to Uni, but I also wanted to train as a tattoo artist - which went down horrendously with my parents so ...
A. 16 February 2011: I know how crap it is to have little support from those who are supposed to support you. My father is the least supportive man I met, and whilst I know I made my own choices that landed me unemployed, I'm also aware that with more support, I could ... (read in full...)
I'm camera-shy and really hate how I look in photos.
Q. Hi I was wondering if anyone can help or provide some advice? I am suffering from very low self esteem and i know this is going to sound silly but it has only started since i have been having pictures taken by friends or family; i never used to ...
A. 16 February 2011: I hate having my photo taken too. I simply can't smile! No matter how hard I try, it always looks so forced and I just look weird.
The best thing to do is tell whoever is taking a photo of you that you don't like to pose, but that they can take... (read in full...)
I need to know how he feels and if he likes me back
Q. Okay, so, there's this boy in my year who I really like, he's known for a while now, but he has a girlfriend (who I didn't know about, because his facebook says he's single) and up until a couple of days ago, he was always ignoring me, and not ...
A. 16 February 2011: If he has a girlfriend, how he feels is irrelevant. He might be out to cheat on his girlfriend, or he might be out to try and make his girlfriend jealous and has chosen to use you.
There's too much going on with him to know what's happening. You ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to let her go on this date?
Q. My wife has a black guy friend that has been asking her to go out on a date. We have talked about it and I told her if she wanted to she could because she has always had a thing for black men. She is 57 and he is 30. Do you think I'm wrong to let ...
A. 16 February 2011: Of course it's wrong - she's your wife, not just some woman who can go out with other men. What happens when she sleeps with him (which will inevitably happen)? Tell her - now. It sounds as if she wants you to tell her not to go anyway, otherwise ... (read in full...)
I love my best friend, yet I don't want to turn down my friend...HELP!!!
Q. I've had my best friend for two years now, btw he's a guy, and realized I loved him last December. Now, a friend of mine has confessed his love to me on Valentine's Day. I'm really confused because my friend wants to be my boyfriend, but I'm still ...
A. 16 February 2011: If you're in love with your best friend, don't go out with this other friend. You'll never be able to give him your all, and if your best friend ever made a move, you'd wind up hurting this other friend.
I'm afraid as it is, you need to remain sing... (read in full...)
My boyfriend fell for the the fake profile that I created on a social networking site, to test him . What do I do now?
Q. I made a fake profile today on a social network and decided to add my boyfriend and see what he would do. Before him, I was in a really bad relationship full of lying and cheating, so I guess you can say I've become bitter and distrusting. I know he ...
A. 16 February 2011: Since you're not getting to the stage where you so distrustful you have to set up a fake account, I think the time has come to think about whether you really want to be with this guy. There seems to be no trust here at all.
Rather the cont... (read in full...)
I asked my abusive partner to leave and he won't!
Q. I have been with my partner over a year now , he moved in just a week after we met, the lies had already started..I lent him moneu and never got it back and he lied what he did with it.. drugs actually, i know he loves me but he finds it fun to put ...
A. 15 February 2011: Unless you own the house outright, or your name is the only one on the lease, you need to pack your bags and get away. Go to this site.
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
... (read in full...)
Do I tell my fiance that I had an affair and the baby may or may not be his?
Q. I have been with my fiancé for 4 years and we are to be married June. We have a great relationship but I recently made a mistake and had a brief sexual relationship with a co-worker. It was over the span of 2 weeks, and it actually brought me closer ...
A. 15 February 2011: Yes, you have to tell him. In my opinion, the worst thing a woman can do is conceal the fact that a man may or may not be a father to a child. It's as bad as rape is for a woman (as controversial as that probably sounds).
You have made a huge mist... (read in full...)
I'm widowed and slept with a married man. For once in my life I want to be selfish and just do what I want!
Q. I have been widowed for a year and have 2 children. This doesn't leave me a lot of time to date or even meet someone. I do miss having sex but I am not ready for a relationship and may never be, given the circumstances of my previous marriage and ...
A. 10 February 2011: And when his wife is broken hearted? Will you care that someone else is hurt, or jump for joy? And when your kids found out (which they will) that you're not the great mother/woman they want you to be?
Yes, we'll judge you - but those that coun... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend hate me because I follow his orders?
Q. What is going on with my boyfriend?! Is he my boyfriend?! I'm so confused. He breaks up with me every other month and gets a new girlfriend, and every time I lock myself up in my bedroom and hide from him and the world. This turns him into a monster ...
A. 10 February 2011: You're a good person.
He's not.
And that's the problem. You're not using your head here. You're looking at this guy, wanting him to love you, wanting to change him, wanting to live happily ever after - and you're not listening to the words he uses ... (read in full...)
Will my ex come back to me?
Q. Hi everyone, I would really appreciate any answers and advice... My boyfriend broke up with me about 10 days ago. We were together for over 5 years. We are both 22 and had all of our firsts together. The reasons he broke up with me were that he ...
A. 10 February 2011: I think this man is looking for the single life, and I think that's why he ended it.
You're both about to go through some huge changes in your life. Education will be finishing, and the real world is calling. That's a big change, and usually with... (read in full...)
He gets SOOO angry! Is this normal?
Q. My boyfriend grabbed my head and slammed it against the door. He said that I wouldn't shut up (we were having an argument) and that because I followed him through the house (I was trying to get him to talk / listen) then I tip him over the edge and ...
A. 10 February 2011: END IT NOW!... (read in full...)
Does he truly love me despite him cheating?
Q. He cheated on me with a girl that treats him like shit. But he keeps coming saying he misses me and he knows that I'm the one. Recently, we got back together and that one girl he cheated on me with wants to be back with him. I didn't cry as he's ...
A. 9 February 2011: He cheated once. And now he's talking to this woman again for no good reason.
Does he love you?
No.
Does he respect you?
No.
Is he a lying, cheating scumbag trying his luck?
Yes.
Get away from him before he hurts you again.... (read in full...)
Why after 6 months won't she hug me or hold my hand?
Q. I don't won't to sound selfish or anything but I've Been going out with this girl for 6 months now and she still doesn't hug hold my hand or anything and shes spending sooooo much more time with her friends then with me it's starting to bother me a ...
A. 9 February 2011: To be honest I agree with other people. If she won't hold your hand, hug you or show you any affection, then you need to end it and move on. No matter how much you love her, it's clear that she doesn't feel the same way.
Try talking to her firs... (read in full...)
What was it that I had done? Was it because I wasn't easy?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma. I'm sorry if this is a bit long but any help would be greatly appreciated! I met this guy, through a group of mutual friends at University, and we got along really well. He began emailing and texting me a lot, and it be...
A. 9 February 2011: Basically, you had standards and he didn't. He was looking for sex, you weren't. And he didn't like it. I wouldn't bother with someone like that. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you've saved yourself a lot of pain, because he would only have ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to be paid for helping with my child
Q. Ok.. this may get long winded so bare with me.. I am hoping some1 can either tell me im stupid or make me feel better. My girlfriend and I have been living together for 1 year. I have a child and she has help w/ the child by getting him from school ...
A. 9 February 2011: Look, you won't like what I'm going to say, but I think you're letting this woman rule your child more than you. How dare she come into your life, knowing she has a child only to demand money and send the child away! More to the point, what the hell ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is rude to me. Is it because he's comfortable with me now?
Q. so me and my bf have been together for about 4 months and since then things have really changed. I feel like he doesnt like me as much and hes recently become kind of ruder to me. not exactly rude but he has gained a lot of attitude and i feel like ...
A. 9 February 2011: Do you really think that playing games with someone like this will make a difference? Let me tell you straight, that no games ever work. Do not play games. Many a woman before you has tried to play games with a man, and every single one has failed. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is making life hell for us!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a question that is about a psycho ex who is a stalker. My boyfriend dated this crazy woman right before he and I got back together after 22 years. They sis not date very long about 3 months. She would not stop texting, emailing, ...
A. 9 February 2011: She does seem a bit if a bunny boiler to me. I wouldn't confront her at all. People like her have a habit of turning everything around, and you'd probably wind up in a police cell before you even knew what had happened.
Instead, keep ever... (read in full...)
My boyfriend left me for another girl saying " he's happier and in love with her, she's a better kisser, better body and more beautiful"..Any chance he might come back to me after all this?
Q. With my ex for quite a while I was his longest relationship. We had a fight and we decided to break up and than talk 2 days later. He begged for me back but when he came to the day to talk he said he needed time. Little did I know that his best mate ...
A. 9 February 2011: I'm sorry, but at his age and given what he said, I don't think he will come back. And even if he did, I think you'd be mad to take him back after what he said. There are some people that do go on rebounds and try to come back, but it never really ... (read in full...)
I did something bad but I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me
Q. I suspected my girlfriend of cheating on me with her ex so I made a fake facebook and added him. I found out that she is cheating on me with him but I feel bad for doing something weird like this. What should I do? I don't know this guy and none of ...
A. 9 February 2011: Just dump her, the close the facebook account and move on. Don't turn into one of those stalker guys. ... (read in full...)
How do I divorce my husband? I just want to be free!!!
Q. May I ask? How do I divorce my husband? I don't want to remain miserable all my life. I am not afraid to grow old alone. I just want to be free. Can I just leave and never come back?...
A. 8 February 2011: You need to speak to a divorce lawyer ASAP. ... (read in full...)
Dealing with heartbreak...
Q. Hi, I am looking for some help and advice. My girlfriend who I was happy with decided to split with me we have been best mates for four years and we broke up because of stuff it was my fault, not hers really. She is now with my best friend. I ...
A. 8 February 2011: You want a woman who stabbed you in the back and went to your best friend?
My friend, you need a crash course lesson in how not to accept bad treatment from people. If it's any good to you, you're not the only one who's been treated this way. My e... (read in full...)
Walked on and lied to...
Q. My gf and I recently got into an argument... we have been dating for three years and we have been arguing alot lately... she said during our last argument that she could do anything... (lying a lot lately)... and I would come crawling back to her... ...
A. 8 February 2011: You have officially been called a doormat by your girlfriend. And that fact that you won't dump her is not working in your favour. At all.
What do you do? you dump this arrogant, self centred, pathetic, miserable, unkind, uncaring excuse for a woma... (read in full...)
want passionate and mind blowing sex with my crush, not my husband!
Q. I have been married to my husband for 18 years and we have two sons together. I got married when I was very young and have had no other boyfriends ever. My husband is the only man I have ever been with in my entire life. I find that I am bec...
A. 8 February 2011: This is a big sign now that your marriage needs major attention - or one day you might have an affair and have to explain to your husband and sons. I would urge you to take a good look at your marriage and try to fix it. Go all the way back to ... (read in full...)
Stole big brother's girl!!!
Q. Ok I have always known my big brother is seriously lacking in the size department I had always heard from girls he was around 3 inches and I got all the genes apparently I'm around 8 inches. Well I was really attracted to my brother's girlfriend ...
A. 8 February 2011: Just tell him and get it over and done with. But don't expect anything from him at all. Not even love. Because whatever way you look at this, he will hate you for the rest of your life. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, had a one night stand and am so afraid to tell my boyfriend!
Q. I just found out I'm pregnant, however I'm not sure if my current boyfriend of five years in the father or a one night stand(I was really drunk that night celebrating my friend's birthday). The nest morning I took Plan B and I was told by the doctor ...
A. 8 February 2011: Would you seriously consider lying to your boyfriend - the love of your life - about a child?
The days where a woman could lie about who was the father are running out.
DNA tests are more wildly available, meaning that if your boyfriend suspects... (read in full...)
I cheated on my girlfriend with a kiss. Should I tell her?
Q. i cheated on my girlfriend, it was only a kiss, i know its wrong still yes, i'm not on here looking to be judged, what i want to know is, should i tell her, she'll be destroyed, it was only a kiss and she's cheated on me a few times before in the ...
A. 8 February 2011: I think personally, that this is a sign it's not working out between you. She's cheated, now you've cheated. How many more times will you both cheat? How many more lies? How little respect must you both have that you both cheat on each other.
I... (read in full...)
I'm afraid if my married man leaves to tell his wife its over, he won't come back
Q. I am in love with a married man.. we work together and started out as friends. this past summer we become really close. he confessed to me that he has been in love with me for the past 2 years. but he is married. but his wife is in mexico. so its ...
A. 8 February 2011: He can be as different as you want him to be - he's still a married man who's cheating for no good reason.
Thing is, unless he gets a divorce, you won't stand a chance. So he needs to sort his marriage out. Now. Let him go speak to her. ... (read in full...)
Together for 3 months, had sex for the first time last week and now he is ignoring me! How do I fix this?
Q. ok so i've been with my boyfriend nearly 3 months. Overall he's a nice guy and we get along good. But a little over a week ago we had sex for the first time in our relationship (his first time ever) and for the next day or so everything was peachy. ...
A. 8 February 2011: This is not a good sign. I don't think you did anything wrong. I think the problem might be that all he wanted was sex. Even worse is that the other girl came back too. I think you need to bother him a bit and find out what's happening. ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of all her lies! Am I right to wait until April to officially end things?
Q. My girlfriend of about a year and half recently broke up with me and I am so sad. I honestly believe that she was my first love and she was the love of my life. It was more than a physical attraction, I had a deep emotional and attachment to her. ...
A. 8 February 2011: I'd just tell her it's over now and stomach all the tension until April. Pull the rug from under this girl. You don't need to talk to her or have anything to do with her, and the moment she speaks to you, just leave the room and close the door.
D... (read in full...)
I feel he's emotionally blackmailing me to stay with him and I don't know what to do... Please help!
Q. Ive posted a question here before about a possessive, controlling boyfriend. good news i said i needed time out - thats lasted a week. He found out his friend dies yesterday and i went to comfort him as i do still love him and care for him. Lo...
A. 8 February 2011: I knew he was a lying loser. Please, never EVER go back to him. He won't kill himself. ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband lie about my age to everyone?
Q. Hi, My husband and I are very far apart in age. He is 15 years my senor. I am 30 and he is 45. We are very happy together and are going to have a baby now. I've never had a problem with his age and we are quite compatible. But, everyt...
A. 8 February 2011: I don't think he feels ashamed. I think it's more likely that he's worried people will judge him for having a younger wife. However, that doesn't' give him a reason to lie - especially by adding on 5 years!
I would tell him that you won't cont... (read in full...)
What should I do about my marriage?... I love him but I hate him at the same time.
Q. I dont know if i should stay with my husband. We have been together for 6 years..married 4. He has been pretty horrible to me through our relationship. Calling me names, telling me i dont do anything, and controlling. Things got really out of ha...
A. 8 February 2011: I would also have to say leave. ... (read in full...)
How to help my best friend?
Q. I scared my friend and made her cry because I yelled at her . What should I say to her ? She is my best friend and I love her and I didn't mean to yell at her but she made me mad. ...
A. 7 February 2011: Start by saying sorry, then talk to her about what went wrong between you and why you did it. Hopefully she'll see why you did it, and hopefully it'll work out. ... (read in full...)
I feel he's emotionally blackmailing me to stay with him and I don't know what to do... Please help!
Q. Ive posted a question here before about a possessive, controlling boyfriend. good news i said i needed time out - thats lasted a week. He found out his friend dies yesterday and i went to comfort him as i do still love him and care for him. Lo...
A. 7 February 2011: Selfish? You're being a saint - sadly to the wrong man.
There is no way that this man loves you. He's just as you say - controlling, manipulative, possessive. And you need to get away from him. Now. No matter how much you love or care for him, he w... (read in full...)
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