| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
He's cheated on me, now what?
Q. My boyfriend is telling me he has practically cheated on me, and he told me the reason he was telling me because he didn't want me to get upset by hearing it from someone else but i wish he had never told me. When i see him i just can't get mad, so ...
A. 3 March 2011: No matter how much you love him, he will always just be the guy who cheated. And now he knows he can get away with it, he'll do it again. ... (read in full...)
I can't help but worry about an up coming stag do..
Q. Hey, I'd love some advice, especially from guy readers, on what really happens on stag nights. I've been with my bf for 5 months. Everything's going great, he's told me he loves me and that he's really happy we're together. We've planned a weekend ...
A. 3 March 2011: I've been on one stag night so far in my life - we went to the pub and watched a football game, because his fiance hated football and he was worried he wouldn't be able to watch it as much! That was it (except for a few drinks). We didn't go near ... (read in full...)
It feels like he's just not committed to us...
Q. Hey all, Why are some guys so afraid of commitment? My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to 3 years now and we're both still early 20's. My ideal marriage age is somewhere between 24-26 but recently, he just told me he thinks anyone wh...
A. 3 March 2011: I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. I think you are two people who have already found that you have different ideas in life. So the question now, is whether you are willing to throw the 3 year relationship away in the hope of meeti... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me, now what?
Q. My boyfriend is telling me he has practically cheated on me, and he told me the reason he was telling me because he didn't want me to get upset by hearing it from someone else but i wish he had never told me. When i see him i just can't get mad, so ...
A. 3 March 2011: I agree with The walkin' Dude.
You need to let this guy go, now. You're still young, and you'll find that there are far better guys out there. If you accept poor treatment from guys now, then they will all continue to treat you badly as long as ... (read in full...)
Should I just cut my losses? He makes so little time for me. How can I get him off the computer?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years is increasingly emotionally distant. I am one that needs bonding time, and he is a robot. He prefers to spend his time with video games and other electronics, rather than with me.I have told him countless times that this ...
A. 3 March 2011: There's a question in this paragraph that answers itself.
"Is there hope of anything actually changing?"
No, there's not. Firstly, you've asked countless times for him to change things, and nothing has happened at all. Secondly, you're forgetti... (read in full...)
Overweight and unhappy!
Q. Okay I'd really like some help on this. Something that has got me down for about 4 years. I'll shoot straight into it. I'm overweight. I'm not huge but I feel it. I don't wear anything that reveals my arms (because they are gross), and i don't wear ...
A. 2 March 2011: It might be worth you going to the doctor and getting checked out to make sure you're don't have an illness or anything. If the weight is coming off slow, you might have something. Also, a doctor will be able to tell you more about how to diet and ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him when drunk but I suspect he cheated too!
Q. Okay, I'll probably get judged for this post but what the hell my head is FRIED!! I could seriously do with some non-judgmental advice, oh and by the way, don't tell me to break up with my bf cos it ain't gonna happen. Okay... Me and my bf have bee...
A. 2 March 2011: My advice to you is very simple.
You need major psychological help from a professional.
There are so many issues here that no one can give enough advice to cover them all. From cheating, to drinking, to paranoid behaviour (I don't believe yo... (read in full...)
I'm dating a guy who told me from the start that he's not "dating material" but I've fallen for him anyways!
Q. About a month ago I started a fling with this man I really really really like. He made it extremely clear right from the start that he was unreliable and not a good person (his words). He also said he loves spending time with me, but he also made it ...
A. 2 March 2011: Too late. You've fallen for him, and you know the truth is that you have to move on. You know where you stand with this guy, and ultimately you'll get hurt one way or another. Better to make it now whilst you have time to get over it, than later ... (read in full...)
Why can't my friends just be happy that I am dating?
Q. I've recently started seeing a guy and am shocked at how my friends are behaving. One of my friends seemed extremely jealous, then started talking about a guy she knows. (A male friend of hers- they are not even dating!) Another friend wanted to ...
A. 2 March 2011: Perhaps these women aren't great friends. They all sound like jealous, petty women to me. I would look at making new friends elsewhere, and perhaps leaving these ones behind if they act like this. Don't surround yourself with losers. ... (read in full...)
How do I show this jerk in a classy manner that I have moved on?
Q. Okay guys. My question is how do you handle a guy who has been ignoring you for the past two months. He liked me but then ran away because he was in another relationship and couldn't handle his feelings. So now he is back in the picture. He just...
A. 2 March 2011: You return the favour and ignore him. Cut contact - that's it. Anything else, and he'll know that you've not really moved on. Just don't make contact, and continue to move on. ... (read in full...)
Why won't my married man text me back any more?
Q. im giezelle 26, i have currently an affair with a married man he's 45. we were together for 2 months and he was just the sweetest one ever. he came into my life unexpectedly. we met in a bar.. we got to talk and since that night, we kept in touch.. ...
A. 2 March 2011: Because he's married, and he's had what he wanted. You never really meant anything to him other than sex, and now you've cheated on your boyfriend, and disrespected his wife. I hope you learn from this - married men don't love their mistresses, they ... (read in full...)
Should I say something about the picture?
Q. I've being texting this guy for the last couple of weeks, he then just sent me a pic of himself... well his penis. It came just out of the blue. I felt totally creeped out by it. I have never met him either. We arranged to meet up the other day and ...
A. 2 March 2011: I would just cut contact. He sounds like a creep, and he sounds pretty controlling. And I think we can safely say that all he wants is sex. ... (read in full...)
Do I hang around waiting on her???
Q. I've been in love with this girl i've known for about 5 years. For the past 5 years she has had a boyfriend. She has now been single for 4 months, and 2 months ago she asked me out. We've been dating now 2 months. Nothing has happened. And so i ...
A. 2 March 2011: If she's not over her ex, walk. Walk away from her and don't look back. Either you will find out you're a rebound, or at some point later she'll go back to him. Find a more stable, secure woman who has a clearer idea of what she wants in her life. ... (read in full...)
What is the etiquette for a married woman's behavior in party situations where her husband isn't present?
Q. What is the etiquette for a married woman's behavior in party situations where her husband isn't present? My wife just returned from a trip with some girlfriends to Atlantic City. While there she won a bunch of money playing a game that she di...
A. 1 March 2011: I personally think you're wife's a genius! Think about it - she has all those men around her finger, and does NOTHING with them. At all. Instead, they all spend money on her!
In all seriousness, I don't think she's doing anything wrong at all. I th... (read in full...)
Shall I just try to get over him? Technically he's not my teacher.
Q. I know it sounds like one of the usual "I'm in love with my teacher" scenarios blah blah, but just listen and help if you can. I'm a fresher (first year) in college and I'm studying Spanish as part of my degree. We're taught languages in sma...
A. 1 March 2011: I would imagine the law is pretty much the same everywhere, which, simply put, is:
"Any person looking after a minor (under 18) and in a position of trust/authority can't have a relationship with that minor/student etc."
If he is a student,... (read in full...)
He wants to keep our relationship secret.
Q. I like this boy but his mates don't like me, he said that if we do go out then we would have to keep it secret. I'm okay with doing this. What Should i do ? Help !!! ...
A. 28 February 2011: Any man who wants to keep you a secret from his friends isn't worth your time. Ever. He should be proud of you, he should want to show you off and a true man will stand up for you against his friends. If he's keeping you a secret, then he's a coward ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 17, and STILL being treated like a little kid!!
Q. Hey. Thank you for all you people who are taking your time to help me, I really do need answers. I'm 17 in a couple of days and tbh I'm quite confused. I've been with my boyfriend for ages (8 months) but he's still not allowed in my bedroom. Even...
A. 28 February 2011: Kid = child.
Child - someone under 18.
Sorry, but technical you are still a 'kid'. So you're really complaining about nothing there.
As for not having your boyfriend in your room, technically it is there house, and they are allowed to set the r... (read in full...)
He's 38, and I'm 21. Someday I would like to have kids, but he doesn't think he wants them. Should I stay?
Q. I am 21 years old and have been with my 38 year old boyfriend for over a year...we live together and get on sooooo well. He never upsets me, treats me like a princess and I love him to bits. The problem is, I would like to have children in the ...
A. 28 February 2011: If you want kids and he doesn't, then you're already fighting a losing battle. It'll only be a matter of time before you resent him for it, or get pregnant accidentally and find him walking out.
If he doesn't want kids, then you need to move on. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not want to date people older than me?
Q. hey there, I was just wondering if i'm meant to be attracted to people older than me. I mean i'm gay and I like people my own age, but not older, and I was wondering if thats normal. Cause some of my mates have older gf and bf. So any help woul...
A. 28 February 2011: I prefer older women, and am dating one. In contrast, I find women in my own age somewhat immature. However, my friend prefers women his own age. So, each man to his own really. ... (read in full...)
Do men actually like this?
Q. Do guys like giving oral to girls??? I mean do they like fingering, and going down and you know? The taste, the look, when it's clean and partially shaven. I am so trying to explain this well, but just really wanted to know if they like kissin...
A. 28 February 2011: Some do, some don't. It depends on the guy really. My bet is most men love it!... (read in full...)
He blows hot and cold. I want him to look at me as a potential girlfriend!
Q. Any suggestions as to how to make a guy who only looks at you as a friend, look at you like a potential gf? I mean there's this guy who blows hot n cold...i know there's something there...but i can't seem to get it!!...
A. 28 February 2011: Then I'm afraid you're out of luck. When a man knows you like him, and he doesn't make a move, then he doesn't fancy you. I'm sorry, but you're seeing a lot more than is there. He's not interested at all, and you're wasting time. ... (read in full...)
He blows hot and cold. I want him to look at me as a potential girlfriend!
Q. Any suggestions as to how to make a guy who only looks at you as a friend, look at you like a potential gf? I mean there's this guy who blows hot n cold...i know there's something there...but i can't seem to get it!!...
A. 28 February 2011: If he knows, and is doing nothing, then he's most definitely not the one and you need to make serious steps to move on. He is not the one.... (read in full...)
He blows hot and cold. I want him to look at me as a potential girlfriend!
Q. Any suggestions as to how to make a guy who only looks at you as a friend, look at you like a potential gf? I mean there's this guy who blows hot n cold...i know there's something there...but i can't seem to get it!!...
A. 28 February 2011: There really is only one way, and that's to speak to him. He might be totally confused about it all. Or he might not feel what you hope he does, in which case at least you'll be able to start moving on. You need to talk to him. ... (read in full...)
Did my cheating partner stay with me for me? or for the kids?
Q. I have recently found out that my partner had an affair for several months. My partner said that during this affair, they still loved me and always has and always will. The affair ended because the other person wanted a committment and my partner ...
A. 27 February 2011: If he actually told you about it, then I would say it's more likely he wanted to stay because he loved you and not just for the kids. I can't really add anything that Blonde68 hasn't said. This is something you need to talk about with him, and you ... (read in full...)
My friend told me all men are really gay!
Q. Are all men GAY??? A guy who once had sex with another guy said to me that all men are gay, and that they just wont admit it, that they don't actually want women they just want to get off or have babies? He said stuff like they think the vagina...
A. 27 February 2011: This guy must have been smoking something. There's a lot of obvious evidence that men aren't all gay!
He was clearly gay himself, but unable to accept it. ... (read in full...)
After what my interfering father did, is the friendship salvageable?
Q. At the beginning of this year, I became really good friends with this guy in my class. We hung out and talked all the time for nearly seven months and flirted all the time. At my birthday party, we were dared to kiss and for a week after that, I was ...
A. 27 February 2011: I don't know what your father sent, but whatever it was, it blew this friend of yours right out the water.
That being said, this friend of yours nearly got expelled, which is as bad sign (because it means your father was right), and this frie... (read in full...)
Did my cheating partner stay with me for me? or for the kids?
Q. I have recently found out that my partner had an affair for several months. My partner said that during this affair, they still loved me and always has and always will. The affair ended because the other person wanted a committment and my partner ...
A. 27 February 2011: It depends how you found out. Did he tell you he'd been having an affair? Or did you find out suddenly?... (read in full...)
I am suffocating in this marriage. Is my emotional affair with this other man the answer?
Q. I will try to make my story as brief as possible. But please read and share your views. I have been married for a few years to the man of my own choice and am without kids due to many reasons. My in-laws are very interefering and they have mess...
A. 27 February 2011: I would be extremely concerned if I were you.
You are a married woman, who is from a rich background. And suddenly there is a young single guy who has literally swept you off your feet, acted all gentlemanly and such. My thought? He's playing you ... (read in full...)
He liked me until he met my sister. Is my reaction of feeling hurt and betrayed justified?
Q. I like this guy and i was sure he liked me back... until he met my sister! We are complete opposite she is skinny and beautiful and i'm like the ugly duckling next to her. I had a birthday party and it was a very special to me because he was going ...
A. 27 February 2011: I'm afraid you've not overreacting. You had a lousy guy, and you have a very jealous sister. I echo the post below, which is to say when you like a guy from now one, don't tell her and don't introduce a man to her until you're sure he's into you. ... (read in full...)
My best friend is pregnant. My fiance is the father. Should we continue with planning our wedding as he wants to?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for five years and we are getting married in six months so technically he is my fiance. Everything was going so well for me i felt like i was living in a fairytale. My best friend since second grade was help...
A. 27 February 2011: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!
Your boyfriend has cheated on you.
Your best friend has stabbed you in the back.
There is now a baby coming into the picture, which means every day for the rest of your life, your boyfriend will see her, and you... (read in full...)
Why did my boy friend's breathing change? What did that mean?
Q. i was at my boyfriends house yesterday and me got into a pretty heavy make out session. i started kissing his neck and his breathing went all funny. he kinda took a massive breath in and then was breathing quickly and deeply. what does this mean? ...
A. 27 February 2011: Most likely he was massively turned on.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 27 February 2011: I also think that's a very mature attitude, so good for you.
The basic problem, is he feels threatened and rejected because to him sex and masturbation are the same. That probably shows that he's a bit immature when it comes to sex really, thou... (read in full...)
He has a fiance, 4 kids and wants to sleep with me. Is it wrong?
Q. I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't ...
A. 27 February 2011: Send nothing. Just let it go, for the same reasons that I wrote before. Everyone will judge you more harshly than him. ... (read in full...)
Does drinking make you mature?
Q. Does drinking make you mature? I don't drink and people think it's because I haven't matured and not responsible. Some people say to me "Oh man up, I started at the age of 13. In my opinion I think that's daft! I've had a glass of alcohol today down ...
A. 26 February 2011: You're the smart one. You're the one who won't wind up getting drunk and having sex with your best friend, or best friend's boyfriend. You're the one who is less likely to be raped or abused. You're the one who won't get arrested for drunken ... (read in full...)
After dating for 3 years, I suspect my boyfriend is cheating! How do I approach him to ask if it's true?
Q. Do I or don’t I break up with my partner? We have been seeing each other for 3 years now and I suspect him of seeing some one else. How shall I approach him to ask him if it’s true? Help please!!!...
A. 26 February 2011: I should point out in light of the poster talking about key-logging spyware, that it is illegal to hack into someone's email with that software on anyone's computer but your own. So, if he has his own computer and you hack, you are breaking the law ... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend has a very wild sexual past, and she did webcam shows for others. Will a threesome make me feel better about her past?
Q. Ok where to begin?! I was in a relationship of 8 years and that ended 1 year ago. For the past 5 months, I've been dating and living with a woman who 24 years old. She has 2 children and I love her and them! The problem is she did soooo many sex...
A. 26 February 2011: It wouldn't make you feel better. It would continually remind you of what she did before, and it would make her feel like she did before. ... (read in full...)
After dating for 3 years, I suspect my boyfriend is cheating! How do I approach him to ask if it's true?
Q. Do I or don’t I break up with my partner? We have been seeing each other for 3 years now and I suspect him of seeing some one else. How shall I approach him to ask him if it’s true? Help please!!!...
A. 26 February 2011: You need evidence. Confront him with nothing, and he'll lie. Split up, and you might be making a mistake. What makes you think he's cheating?... (read in full...)
Is my ex really over me or he's trying to see me hurt? I'm really confused
Q. Hi there, I hope to hear some of your opinions on my problem. It's been going for nearly 2 weeks since we broke up. We were together for nearly a year. It was a mistake from both sides. We had been in this distance relationship and haven'...
A. 26 February 2011: I think he had some problems with control before this, and that fling you had sent him around the twist. This is very unhealthy behaviour, and it's important that you move on from him. I don't see this working at all. He's not going to forgive your ... (read in full...)
I only attract men that are taken!
Q. I only seem to attract men who are already taken. I've been single for the last three years and I just attract one man after the other who already has a girlfriend. Any ideas why this is the case?...
A. 26 February 2011: Where are you meeting them? Also, what type of man are you attracted to?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 26 February 2011: I'd have to ask why it is you're not having sex with him. You didn't put down your reason. Because unless you have a good reason (religion/not ready etc), 2 years is a long time to not be having sex in a relationship. What's your reason?... (read in full...)
One night stand with married woman has left me fearful--her husband found out!
Q. a month ago i had a one night stand with a woman i met at a bar. we exchanged info and she wrote me about how it was nice to feel good for a night outside of her bad marriage.. i didn't know she was married. i wrote her i couldnt be involved with a ...
A. 26 February 2011: Leave it well alone. Do not write to him or anything. His threats were written when he was angry and not thinking. He's had some time to think, and it seems as if he's backed off. Leave her alone, leave him alone and if he does threaten or do ... (read in full...)
He has a fiance, 4 kids and wants to sleep with me. Is it wrong?
Q. I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't ...
A. 26 February 2011: Yes, you would. It would be a very damning statement about who you are if you participated in screwing up a family, which is what you are doing. 4 kids, and another one the way? Would you really want to screw that up. Because when it comes out, ... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend has a very wild sexual past, and she did webcam shows for others. Will a threesome make me feel better about her past?
Q. Ok where to begin?! I was in a relationship of 8 years and that ended 1 year ago. For the past 5 months, I've been dating and living with a woman who 24 years old. She has 2 children and I love her and them! The problem is she did soooo many sex...
A. 26 February 2011: Have you wondered why none of her past relationships have actually worked? Perhaps the problem is that rather than commit, she insists upon these threesomes that on to wreck the relationships.
A threesome will probably make you feel worse abou... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
