A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Not sure why I feel this way but something is obviously wrong. My daughter dated this boy for two years. I definately thought he was "the one". She broke it off with him suddenly and he was devastated. I did everything to try to get them back together. It worked for a while, they did get back, but she broke it off again saying she just doesn't like him like that anymore, he's changed. As far as I can see, he is still extremely sweet and still has feelings for her. Its been a year, and I am still having a hard time moving on from this. She hasn't met anyone else and neither has he. He is friendly with my son so I see him now and then. It annoys me that my daughter won't give him another chance and it irritates me when I hear any mention of him having any kind of interest in another girl. My daughter broke up with other guys and I didn't give it a second thought so why should this one bother me so much.
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (16 February 2011):
 I hate to sound like a broken record, but I'm going to have to chime in with everyone else. As a parent, we see people that would be great for our children but we cannot dictate whom are children date. I learned early in the game to keep my mouth shut about who my daughter dated. Everyone I liked, she suddenly got rid of, and if I thought the guy was a jerk and expressed it, it seemed like she dated him forever! She went through some real frogs, but did in fact get a prince in the end. You have to let go, and trust that your daughter will make the right decision. Unless the guy is doing drugs or hurting her in some way, it truly is best to stay out of things. Have faith that your daughter will make the best decision for HER. After all, she'll have to live with the man, you won't. Right? Hang in there..it does get better, I promise. My daughter is now 30, and she chose the right man for her. I'm sure your daughter will too.
A
female
reader, dep  +, writes (16 February 2011):
I can understand why you're feeling so down. As you deemed your daughter's boyfriend the best for her, you think now that she won't find someone as nice. The feeling that everything has to be done again is overwhelming. Will you like the next one? will he deserve your daughter? But alas, when our kids are grown-ups, we can give them advice but not make the decison for them. We have to let go and trust them. It's heartbreaking but the best way for them to become accomplished adults
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (16 February 2011):
 You saw him as a good candidate for making your daughter happy in the long run...unfortunately she sees things differently. He maybe all sweet in front of you but she may know or see a different side of him. I think you have to respect her wishes. If you are in your 40's, I would guess your daughter is a teenager or 20-something? She has plenty of time to find Mr Right (Mr Right for her, not necessarily you). It is nice that you wish all the best for your daughter but her dating choices are just that, hers.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 February 2011):
You got on with him, that's why this has bothered you.
But, whether you like it or not, or right or not, you can't control who your daughter sees. She has to be able to make her own decision about the guy she wants in her life. And she simply doesn't want him. You can't be sure that he's not changed, because you weren't the one dating him. She was. Your daughter even did get back with him, then ended it again. So she did give him another chance. She can't continually gives chances to a guy just because you want her to.
Let he make own own decision about the man in her life, or she'll rebel and go out with someone who you specifically dislike, or she'll cut you out and not speak to you about guys in the future.
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