A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner over a year now , he moved in just a week after we met, the lies had already started..I lent him moneu and never got it back and he lied what he did with it.. drugs actually, i know he loves me but he finds it fun to put me down and make fun of me saying fatty, pushing me around bruising me then hurting me when im bruised and thinking its funny. i often cry and he doesnt care he just grabs me and wants sex and forces it on me saying i love it when I do not!!!!!he hasnt worked since i met gim and i have just gave up my job as im feeling down and my job was suffering. i feel my world is crumbling around me, i asked him to leave but he wont so i dont know wat to do...
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female
reader, altered  +, writes (16 February 2011):
Please leave.
I know where this is headed, and it is not something you wish upon yourself. Believe me when I tell you that YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS. Empower yourself from within. You are stronger than you think. You owe it to yourself to get away from him as fast as possible.
Be safe about this. If you make a plan to leave, you must be very careful and secretive. Dont leave any trails. Many abuse hotlines and shelters can offer you ideas and plans on how to get away and make sure he stays away from you.
This will never get any better. But it will get alot worse.
Please leave.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Plan ahead. When he is out of the house long enough, gather up his stuff, put it outside and get the locks changed. Inform the police incase there is a problem from this. Then if necessary get a restraining order. Citizens advice should be able to advice. If it is his house, you need to leave. I'm afraid with a man like this there is no easy way to get him out of your life. You have to be strong but make sure you have support, family, friends and police if needs be.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): You asked an abuser to leave and he won't??? WOW... that's not a surprise! The prick is an abuser! Document the abuse, take photos, have someone else take them, document who took them, when and where and go to the cops and have him arrested. While he;'s locked up get your stuff and move.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (16 February 2011):
 Next time he goes out, get the locks changed! Inform the police about this aswell just in case. Get some of your friends/family round to act as witnesses to what he does if you do end up changing the locks. Take pictures of your bruises and any cuts you have that are down to him. Get a witness to sign the to say that they are real and write dates they happened on the backs of the pictures. As for his bedroom antics...That's rape if you were not willing to have sex with him!!! This is a very serious matter, and i wish you all the luck in bringing this sorry excuse for a man to justice!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Hi
You are right! your world is crumbling around you and YOU will crumble with it....IF you carry on with this relationship. Ever thought moving in after one week was quick...he is sucking you dry....you even are down to feeling tired and giving your job up...he takes money...steals sex....hurts you...steals your self respect...steals your self esteem......Wakeup time!!!!!!!!before he takes it all....Seek advice about living arrangement ...have him removed OR pack ya bags get out....
LOVE lives nowhere in this relationship and you can't save him....but you can save yourself!!!!!!!!
Good luck
spunky monkey
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 February 2011):
Unless you own the house outright, or your name is the only one on the lease, you need to pack your bags and get away. Go to this site.
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (15 February 2011):
 You can't keep telling yourself he loves you when his actions say the exact opposite. You have to put your foot down and tell him to leave, not ask him. Get the police involved if you have to. If his name is on the lease they can't do much, but that doesn't mean you're helpless either. The relationship needs to end, if there's no way you can make him leave you'll have to be the one to pack up your things and go somewhere else instead.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 February 2011):
 Is his name on the lease? Go to the cops and report him. You can kick him out, but you might want the police there since he has a history of violence. You need to end this relationship.
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