A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I suspected my girlfriend of cheating on me with her ex so I made a fake facebook and added him. I found out that she is cheating on me with him but I feel bad for doing something weird like this. What should I do? I don't know this guy and none of my friends do. I used an alias. Yes, I know it is weird.
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facebook, her ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): I take my hat off to you, you've done nothing wrong, you was protecting your feelings. HEY,I should hire you to check on my friend, that was smooth and face book is public, open to all and believe me, you are not the only one that did that.
You Go
A
female
reader, nikitaaa10  +, writes (12 February 2011):
DUMP HER!!!! Dont feel bad for doing that...she should feel bad. take my advice and forget about her
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): I agree - you have done nothing wrong - its the cheater who is at fault - you just used your head to confirm what you were suspicious of. I have done the same. I looked into my husband's email, phone and hotmail and facebook and found he was cheating - he is in the wrong and is the cheater NOT me. Facebook is for losers anyway who have no sense of privacy and put all their details out there - anyone can look at.
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A
male
reader, airwaterearthfirebender +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Don't feel bad in the least. There is nothing weird about getting to the bottom of whether or not your partner is cheating. The litmus test in this regard is to ask yourself Did anybody get hurt? So, I don't think you hurt anybody and you have every right to use methods at your disposal (as long as you're not hurting anyone) in order to arrive at the truth. Even then, I would bend on that principle depending what tactic is/was being considered in order to reveal or get to the truth. Cheating has to be one of the most sinister things you can do to a partner, especially if you continue to engage in sexual relations with the person you are cheating on. In doing so, a cheater makes their partner live an illusion, a lie, like you are some object to be used and played with. It is an utterly weak and despicable thing to do. So again, you should have absolutely no remorse whatsoever in coming to the truth the way you did. So in terms of what to do now? Do you really need to ask? You can't trust her, she's a liar. Another guy is in the picture, let her and him have one another. If he knew you were in the picture, then they really do deserve one another until one of them cheats again on each other. A real woman would respect you and never put you in such a situation. Dump her and move on but maintain your healthy skepticism...because it saved you from progressing with an unworthy partner. There are certainly better women out there if a relationship is what you're looking for. Take care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Do what these guys have said and end it straight away. Dont feel the least bit guilty, and please believe me when I say that losing this girl is not the end of the world. Someone way better WILL come along. Chin up, deep breath, be happy!
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Why are you apologizing? Your gut feeling told you this girl was cheating on you, and you did some detective work to confirm your suspicions. I know others will disagree with your tactics, but I've been in your shoes before. There are two types of people in life... those that have a gut feeling and act on it, and those who choose to ignore these instincts and pretend nothing is wrong until it's too late.
It doesn't matter who told you, or how you found out. That is not the issue. Your girlfriend lied and cheated on you. It's a terrible feeling, but you will move on. You are still young, so I have one piece of advice for you. When you decide you are ready to get married, choose someone that you have 100% faith in. Any woman who gives you the slightest doubt should be a red flag for you to run!
Obviously, this girl does not love, and you deserve better. Keep your chin up! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 February 2011):
Just dump her, the close the facebook account and move on. Don't turn into one of those stalker guys.
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A
male
reader, df30 +, writes (9 February 2011):
Hell no dude yeah it might be wrong and if she wasn't cheating she might be pissed about it but you found for sure she is cheating. This isn't a court of law the evidence isn't tossed in the trash if you don't have a search warrant.Shes cheating on you, you know, give her a chance to come clean and then let her go. I think her cheating trumps you making a fake facebook account.
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Well, you should definitely break it off with her. She cheated on you and that is wrong no matter what you did to find out. If she asks how you know you can admit to her how you found out if you want, but I don't think it is something you HAVE to do. I would just walk away at this point. There is something she wants from him that you can't give her and even if she stops being with him, she'll always want whatever it is she isn't getting from you.
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