A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a bit of a dilemma. I'm sorry if this is a bit long but any help would be greatly appreciated!I met this guy, through a group of mutual friends at University, and we got along really well. He began emailing and texting me a lot, and it became a regular thing. After a night out sometimes I stayed at my friends house, who lived with this guy and a couple of times I stayed in his bed to save me from the most uncmfortable sofa in the world.Anyway, nothing happened between us until the second time, when we kissed. He asked me if I wanted to go any further, and whether if we did would cause complications. I said I wasn't that type of girl, and that we shouldn't do anything more, so fast. He was okay with it at the time.Anyways, since this night, he has been avoiding me and ignoring me completely, even when we are out with mutual friends it is so awkward because he doesn't even look at me.I have a friend who began emailing him, and I wasn't really sure who to be mad at, her or him; but I knew it made her a bad friend for doing this. She told him that I assumed something was going on with the two of them, which I had never said, and then he claimed he does not even remember kissing me. My friend likes male attention so I was not shocked that she did this, just devastated that she would do it to me.Is he into my friend now? The thing is my friend has been with two of his friends, who are all part of one friendship group, which I think is bad. I've tried emailing him with general conversation, just to be friendly and get rid of the awkward tension when we are together but he just ignores me.What was it that I had done wrong?Is it because I am not 'easy?'
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the responses :)
I guess I just need to forget about it and move on; it's confusing as to why I'd even want to be friends with someone like this anyway.
I'm not a 'his way, or no way,' kind of girl, so it would never have worked out anyways.
I'm going to try not to fret over someone that wouldn't fret over me!
Thanks again guys.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Maybe he was after a bit of casual sex. So you have lost nothing. In my mind if I guy really likes you he'll stick around and won't ignore you if you have standards. So please don't agonise about him. If you had slept with him he may still have gone cold on you and you'd be feeling even worse than you do now.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 You haven't done anything wrong, except perhaps choosing his comfy bed over the uncomfortable sofa. You share a bed with a guy- he gets ideas and expectations. So he may have been disappointed by your backing off and thought you were
"playing games " or something like that. But - that's not sure, and anyway it's HIS problem, not yours. The thing is, he just wanted a sexual fling, fast easy and with " no complications "- you wanted something diffferent, and he lost interest. Hey, it happens and you have not missed anything special at all. Don't sweat it now about being friends, obviously it was not your friendship and conversation he was interested in. If he ignores you- ignore him back . Don't think about it any more - you can do better .
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 February 2011):
Basically, you had standards and he didn't. He was looking for sex, you weren't. And he didn't like it. I wouldn't bother with someone like that. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you've saved yourself a lot of pain, because he would only have used you.
If you stick to your standards, you really will meet a better class of man elsewhere down the line.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Yeah, your friend is going for him, and no, he wont resist her.
That being said, this guy wanted to have sexy fun with you , he didnt want to be your friend, boyfriend, future husband, just have 1 night fun, living the moment.
Theres nothing wrong with his desires, and nothing wrong with yours.
You 2 are in different stages of life. That s all. Bad timing.
Now the bad side, is that he is an ALL OR NOTHING type of person. You know "MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY". He didnt get his way with you and now he kicked you out of his life.
This could be also part of a plan, since you didnt give him what he wanted now he ignores you since he knows you like him, giving you the cold shoulder will drive you crazy (like it is now) so now for getting him back you will go and give him what he wanted.
I suggest you to stop communication with him. Ignore him too. Forget that chapter of your life. Otherwise when you hear that your friend and him are getting it on , it will be very painful.
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