| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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He has a fiance, 4 kids and wants to sleep with me. Is it wrong?
Q. I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't ...
A. 27 February 2011: Send nothing. Just let it go, for the same reasons that I wrote before. Everyone will judge you more harshly than him. ... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend has a very wild sexual past, and she did webcam shows for others. Will a threesome make me feel better about her past?
Q. Ok where to begin?! I was in a relationship of 8 years and that ended 1 year ago. For the past 5 months, I've been dating and living with a woman who 24 years old. She has 2 children and I love her and them! The problem is she did soooo many sex...
A. 26 February 2011: It wouldn't make you feel better. It would continually remind you of what she did before, and it would make her feel like she did before. ... (read in full...)
He has a fiance, 4 kids and wants to sleep with me. Is it wrong?
Q. I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't ...
A. 26 February 2011: Yes, you would. It would be a very damning statement about who you are if you participated in screwing up a family, which is what you are doing. 4 kids, and another one the way? Would you really want to screw that up. Because when it comes out, ... (read in full...)
Why would a girl whom I had eye contact and exchanged smiles with rub it in my face that she has a boyfriend?
Q. So there's this girl I met on occasion who exchanged regular eye contact and smiles with me. Obviously, she must have realized that I was into her, lest she would have looked away, as most of the time, girls who aren't into you usually do. So I d...
A. 26 February 2011: Wherever you are in the world, there will always be a Drama Queen, or an Attention Seeker. She's clearly an attention seeker, so just ignore her. ... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend has a very wild sexual past, and she did webcam shows for others. Will a threesome make me feel better about her past?
Q. Ok where to begin?! I was in a relationship of 8 years and that ended 1 year ago. For the past 5 months, I've been dating and living with a woman who 24 years old. She has 2 children and I love her and them! The problem is she did soooo many sex...
A. 26 February 2011: Have you wondered why none of her past relationships have actually worked? Perhaps the problem is that rather than commit, she insists upon these threesomes that on to wreck the relationships.
A threesome will probably make you feel worse abou... (read in full...)
Is no sexual attraction to husband a deal breaker?
Q. Can you guys tell me what you think...Is not being sexually attracted to your husband a deal breaker in a marriage? We have been together 14 years and have children. There was a spark and chemistry between us when we first met and into the first ...
A. 26 February 2011: I agree with everyone else.
Just a quick reminder not to cheat though. Two days ago, there was a small article in a magazine here in Britain written by a woman explaining why it's not a good idea to cheat.
She was having an affair. She thought ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has gone off on a vacation with his ex wife and kids, does he love her more?
Q. I don't think that I'm being unreasonable that I'm fairly annoyed that my partner, the guy who says he loves me.. has just gone away for a few days away with his ex wife and kids. Staying in a hotel in a family room! Last year I begged him to go aw...
A. 26 February 2011: His actions all suggest that he's not really over his ex wife, and that you're basically there for when he wants.
If he'd been serious about you at all, at the very least he would have slept in a separate room. ... (read in full...)
Exs and rebounds
Q. Will an ex come back after a rebound if you use no contact? What are ur experiences with this?...
A. 26 February 2011: My experience is they use the rebound, then move on to someone else. They nearly never come back. ... (read in full...)
I caught my fiance sexting his ex!
Q. I need help. i have no one to talk to. my fiancée texted his ex girlfriend, that cheated on him, saying he want to squirt a load in her. this is the second time i caught him saying sexual things to her. the texts where a year apart. he said that i ...
A. 26 February 2011: Walk. He's sexting an EX - that is a major league bad sign. It means he's not over her. ... (read in full...)
Penis size, what is large, average and small?
Q. Hey guys I am a dude and I'm not gay but I have read some questions about penis' and large and small but I want to know what is considered a large, average and small penis size. I am 6 inches erect and about 3.5 non erect and also where do I fall t...
A. 26 February 2011: You're just above average. ... (read in full...)
I think of my b/f as a friend, not lover
Q. i see my boyfriend more as a brother or best friend more than a boyfriend i love him need advice?...
A. 26 February 2011: If you're thinking that at your age, then it means he's not the one. Sometimes in longer relationships you can become too much like brother/sister or friends, and that is something that can be fixed.
But, when you're 18-21, and most likely have... (read in full...)
Lost the weight and now I'm eating out of control!
Q. Within the past 2 months, I was on a very intense diet and lost 35 pounds. Now that I have lost all of the weight I needed to lose, I am off of my diet and I am eating uncontrollably. I really don't even realize until I'm done eating what I've done. ...
A. 26 February 2011: Well done on losing the weight first of all! That's great and you should be proud.
Now the bad news - Intense diets often don't work, because the body can't physically handle the sudden loss of food/energy/weight. You lost of a lot of weight insi... (read in full...)
He flirts but doesn't want a relationship!
Q. Why would a guy flirt heavily with a girl, tell how awesome she is and about how they think it'd be nice to kiss and cuddle but then say that they are not interested in a relationship? And how do I get him to want a relationship w/ me?...
A. 26 February 2011: I know what this guy wants - a quick fling before he slaps you on the butt and throws you aside.
He's not interested in a relationship - just the sex. And there is nothing on this planet that will make him change his mind about how he feels. If h... (read in full...)
My ex is trying to hook me up with one of his friends?
Q. Why would my ex do this? So my boyfriend and me broke up a month ago and well he had this guy who is a friend of his text me and well then the guy told me that him and my ex were talking about me and that he asked to see what i looked like and my e...
A. 26 February 2011: I would honestly not go. I don't think he's setting you up with a mate or something. I think he's setting you up to see him and his new girlfriend to make you hurt.
Stay well away from this ex and continue to move on. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always teases me and it hurts!
Q. My boyfriend teases me about everything. No matter what the case may be he's always joking around. He thinks its funny to put me down or embarrasses me in front of other people. He always tell me that I'm either too sensitive or too serious and I ...
A. 26 February 2011: I think he treats you this way because he like to hurt you a bit if you want the truth. The problem is, like a lot of young women, you seem to take far too much crap treatment. A guy who mocks you when you are hurting isn't a guy you should be with. ... (read in full...)
He abuses me verbally but he's the love of my life!
Q. Hi everyone. Well I've been in a relationship with this guy for 11 months, so far this is the longest relationship I've ever had. He's 21 and I'm 17. I love him so much, more than I've ever loved anyone else but he's a violent person. In th...
A. 26 February 2011: It is essential - ESSENTIAL that you get away from this man. You might love him, but he doesn't love you at all. He's only interested in power over you.
Here in the UK, the figures for women being killed by a man is 2 per week, and one woman is a... (read in full...)
Is a threesome a normal fantasy for a married man?
Q. This isn't anything new, but I was wondering if it's "normal" to want to watch your wife have sex with another man? ...
A. 26 February 2011: There are certainly enough posts on here that suggest it's a normal fantasy some men have. But, I do think it's one best kept as a fantasy and nothing else, because there are also a lot of posts talking about threesomes/sharing gone wrong. ... (read in full...)
My perfect boyfriend is becoming too emotional for me?
Q. I've known this boy for 7 years, we will call him Joe. We made an extreme romantic connection 2 years ago, but both of our situations prevented us from being together. We were crazy about each other, and perfect for each other. But he was scared ...
A. 25 February 2011: "Bill" was mentally unstable.
"Joe" also appears to be unstable.
My point? You need to seriously look at the type of man you're attracted to. Don't get me wrong, men should be able to be open about emotions, but not to the extent that they win... (read in full...)
She hasn't talked to me in 2 days, was I out of line?
Q. So I have been dating this for a bit over 2 months now and everything has been great. We see each other usually each weekend and whenever possible a time or 2 during the week. The other day we had a bit of a spat, it really wasn't huge, just about ...
A. 25 February 2011: 2 months and she'a already acting this way? This would be an alarm bell. ... (read in full...)
I am feeling pressured, but I have the right to choose who to keep in my life, right?
Q. I've come to the time now where I can't be bothered with some people. I just think some people haven't grown up. People lie, spread rumors, insult you, judge you ect.... I've dumped some people out of my life because of what they are like. I know ...
A. 25 February 2011: You're more mature an intelligent than your mother - she seems to be a bit clueless when it comes to men and relationships. Select only those people who are worthy of your time and friendship (and love when it comes to a man). Don't listen to your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she can't handle me not making her happy!
Q. My girlfriend and i have been dating now for almost 3 years we have an apt together and just recently she said she cant handle me not making her happy..i love her to death and this is all my fault she says she needs space to think if she can give me ...
A. 25 February 2011: Wake up buddy - it's not your job to make her happy, it's both of your jobs (that's how couples work). She can't just lay the blame at your door. This is the mating call of the Drama Queen, and I think you're overlooking a great many problems that ... (read in full...)
Are all my ex boyfriend's decisions being controlled by his friend?
Q. So my ex broke up with me 3 days after valentines day... he says his reason is because he cant make me happy. I'm confused because even though we did argue we seemed to be recently working things out... He proposed to me the day after Valentin...
A. 25 February 2011: Thank God all this happened now. Imagine if you'd gotten married and this had happened! Your ex is a little boy playing in a man's world - and he has no clue about it at all. Avoid at all costs. ... (read in full...)
We shared a bed, and we touched, but didn't go further. Should I tell his Gf?
Q. i'm 15 and have been single for about a year. Last week i went to a party at a mates house and because i had no way of getting home i stayed at his house and it was me and 5 other boys but we are all really good friends so it didn't bother me. I ...
A. 25 February 2011: Say nothing. At all. Whilst it would be nice for him to get what's coming to him, I think this will have a very negative impact on your reputation. Most likely, the girlfriend will blame you and everything will be twisted so it appears as if you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's beautiful ex girlfriend who happens to resemble Mila Kunis!
Q. I have been with this guy for a bit over six months. I never cared about his past at first. He told me he was with a girl for around five years and had a nasty break up. Lately I keep thinking about their relationship. I have never even seen her...
A. 25 February 2011: I think this problem is entirely your own. He has said and done nothing at all that is even remotely suspicious. He has tried extremely hard to try and explain you are the better girl. And if that's not obvious, the fact that she is an ex is the ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a girl's voice to crack?
Q. Is it normal for a girls voice to crack ? My voice cracks alot and i get made fun of. Could it be from under using it because i rarely talk. Anyway to prevent or stop it?...
A. 25 February 2011: What's happening is natural. You're changing from a girl into a young woman. It happens to boys too, and soon you won't be alone.... (read in full...)
How can I heighten my sexual experience with my mate?
Q. I'm interested in heightening my sexual experience with my mate. I've done the porn thing with him and while that satisfies my immediate need and his, it doesn't take me where I want to go. I want to be so high on the orgasm that nothing else ...
A. 24 February 2011: The only way that you can make this happen, is if you spend time working out what works for you. Men aren't mind readers, and he won't know how to make you scream his name if you don't. So you and he need to do some experimenting (boss him around a ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to sleep in the same bed as my soon to be ex wife?
Q. My wife of 25 years notified me several months ago, that she doesnt love me anymore and wants a divorce. We went to marriage counseling for a few months, and she told me yesterday, the counseling hasn't worked, and she still wants to divorce me. ...
A. 24 February 2011: I would say that in this situation, knowing it is coming to an end, you would be better off moving to a separate room.
a) Your children will have to deal with this one way or another. Might as well be honest about it all now.
b) This will cer... (read in full...)
I love him but I need to let go, what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend asked me for child and I told him I'm not ready for that. He went and got another girl pregnant that he said he was talking to but I assumed they are still together, I confronted both of them on three way for the man to choose he ...
A. 24 February 2011: Focus on the fact that for the rest of your life, if you stay with him you will have to see the child that was a result of him having unprotected sex with another women.
i.e. - he had no respect for your sexual health, no respect for your feel... (read in full...)
He means the world to me. How can I get him to trust me?
Q. Hello :-) Right, i shall start from the begining so it makes more sense to you all. (whoever's reading) My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now, and at the begining of the relationship i was still talking to other boys (jus...
A. 24 February 2011: When I read posts like yours, I have to say it makes me disheartened about the way society is going. Here we have you, a girl who has bent over backwards for this guy, and he has done nothing other than treat you badly. Perhaps it says a lot about ... (read in full...)
Dear Creepy Ex, Thanks but no thanks.
Q. Ok so, my ex (not the classiest fellow at the best of times) just sent me a picture of his junk on facebook, with the message, "miss me?". This definitely seals my decision NOT to get back together with him. I thought of replying and kind of calli...
A. 24 February 2011: Oh yes, as the post below says, block him too. ... (read in full...)
Do breaks work?
Q. He wants to take a break. He's already made plans with a co-worker to find a new place for both of them, which implies signing a lease and agreeing to contribute to another household. I'm 7months preggo and I haven't been the easiest to get alon...
A. 24 February 2011: I've never heard of a break working in a situation like this. Breaks, I think, work more for couples who have been together for a long time (15 years plus). They never really work for couples who haven't been together for that long.
My theory abou... (read in full...)
Dear Creepy Ex, Thanks but no thanks.
Q. Ok so, my ex (not the classiest fellow at the best of times) just sent me a picture of his junk on facebook, with the message, "miss me?". This definitely seals my decision NOT to get back together with him. I thought of replying and kind of calli...
A. 24 February 2011: The slightly evil part of me says send it to everyone you know - because after that there's no way he'll bother with you. However, since the evil part of me is less than 1%, don't do that.
The rest of me says for you to delete it and ignore him ... (read in full...)
What birth control do you use and why?
Q. Birth Control... I'm a virgin, have no desire to get BF yet and I am happy to finish living my childhood for the time being as I know when it's gone I'll miss just been young. But i see alot Qs about BC (birth control) and I'm just curious re...
A. 24 February 2011: My girlfriend is on the pill, and we use condoms too. That's the best protection short of not having sex, so that's why we use them. ... (read in full...)
Should I send him a message apologizing?
Q. I joined a dating website a couple of months ago. There is a feature where you can see who's checking you out, and I noticed that this one guy kept showing up. I found him really interesting and attractive, so I messaged him. He was really sweet, ...
A. 24 February 2011: I have to say, sometimes you girls to pick 'em!
If I was with a girl, and she suddenly said to me on our DATE that she wasn't connecting with people, then got up said she was tired an left because she had to 'work early', my response would be "rud... (read in full...)
I love him. but am I missing out on my teenage years?
Q. Hey guys. I'm 16, almost 17, and currently in a 6 month relationship with my boyfriend who I absolutley love to pieces. He is the best, he does everything for me and is always there for me. I can be my total self around him all the time. We do ...
A. 24 February 2011: The problem with being young, is that you have so little experience with people. When I was 17, my girlfriend at the time was the Goddess - no one else was like her in my eyes. Then she cheated, and for a while I was single. Since then, I've met far ... (read in full...)
I'm so tired of my selfish man!
Q. Dear Cupid,I have been trying to put some money into a savings account but I think my partner knows and he will do everything he can to prevent this. He's always been controlling,selfish and sneaky. There's been time in our relationship where he ...
A. 24 February 2011: Walk away ASAP. ... (read in full...)
I don't want him in my baby's life, am I right for feeling this way?
Q. So I got this problem, I moved 4 months ago out of the country to study some courses. Before I left I had a guy (we weren't dating), we did sleep together. But just a week or 2 before I moved, he left on a trip for a month and I didn't hear from him ...
A. 24 February 2011: If you try to stop him helping, at some point it will bite you - badly. You HAVE to put your baby's interests first, and that means taking this help from the father. Otherwise, in say 20 years time, your child might find the father, and then this ... (read in full...)
Is flirting online a form of cheating?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. Our arguments have always been about him flirting with women on Facebook or MySpace. Is that considered cheating if hes flirting online and he tells women he's single? ...
A. 24 February 2011: If he's there telling women he's single, in my opinion he's cheating. And if this argument has been ongoing, then perhaps the time has come for you to end it with him - because he sure has hell isn't going to change.... (read in full...)
Am I being too jealous or should I leave him?
Q. My boyfriend is a photographer. I was looking at his messgaes and one of his collegues messaged him, i looked and it turned out he was flirting with her and offered her sex. I looked through his other messages and he told another girl that he loved ...
A. 24 February 2011: Offered another woman sex? Dump him. On the spot. ... (read in full...)
Too soon to kiss???
Q. I'm going to the cinema with a girl who I like and who likes me, is it too soon to kiss her or not?...
A. 24 February 2011: If it's a first date, it might be a bit too soon. But, then again, things sometimes just develop. I would just relax and see what happens. You'll kiss if the time is right, so let it all develop, and just have a good day with her.... (read in full...)
HOW do I find the right guy???
Q. I need some advice ! :) you see i tend to get used a lot, either that or guys just want no strings attached sex with me. i cant seem to attract guys in the way they want to go out with me or go on a date with me . They just want sex or a thing wi...
A. 24 February 2011: Stop allowing yourself to be used! That's the first thing. You can't meet the right guy if you're busy running around with the wrong guy! Because the right guy will walk past you to the next girl who is single.
Secondly, look seriously at the type... (read in full...)
Are Love Stories Real???
Q. What I want to know is simple really. Are love stories real? Unlike popular belief, Im a teenage boy who doesn't want to get into some girls pants and I don't think about sex all the time like many my age. What I want is someone who can truly make ...
A. 24 February 2011: Love = A lot of hard work.
That's about the only rule there really is. Love stories are fiction, and make it all sound easier than it is. Real love takes time, effort, trust, sex, commitment, compassion, empathy, care, happiness, anger, shut... (read in full...)
Fake Profile...
Q. Hello all.. Last week, I had went against better judgement and "tested" my boyfriend with a fake profile. (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-fell-for-the-the-fake-profile.html) Although he did message back and forth a bit, he didn't...
A. 24 February 2011: I'm sorry, but you are not in the position to be asking 'how do I know when he's had enough space'. no, you didn't kill his mother, or cheat on him. But you created a fake profile and lied to him about it all with no proof of any cheating or ... (read in full...)
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