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I love him but I need to let go, what should I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2011)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend asked me for child and I told him I'm not ready for that. He went and got another girl pregnant that he said he was talking to but I assumed they are still together, I confronted both of them on three way for the man to choose he couldn't he cant choose. Now that the baby is born he sees the baby almost every day so I guess I'm not really in the picture,but yet he calls me every day I thinks he loves me but he seems to love her too an that can't work. It's like he want all three of us to be together. The next thing is that I live in another parish and that girl lives in his parish, so I see him once a week. I don't know what to do. I really love this man but I guess I need to let go. Every time I say I'm gonna end it, it is like I cant. What should i do?

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A female reader, inluvwlaw United States +, writes (24 February 2011):

the only thing you could do is give it time remember that you deserve everything that your heart desires and you must let go of the things that are selfish and self centered all the signs are there for youto let him be so draw your lines and hold them down respect yourself and know that your worth more best of luck i can relate this to happened to me

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2011):

Focus on the fact that for the rest of your life, if you stay with him you will have to see the child that was a result of him having unprotected sex with another women.

i.e. - he had no respect for your sexual health, no respect for your feelings, no respect for your relationship, and thought nothing of you, other than that you were a walking womb.

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A female reader, TEM United States +, writes (24 February 2011):

TEM agony auntThis is an impossible situation for you. You will never have the kind of relationship you desire with this man. It will always be a heartache because he has fathered a child with another woman and nothing will ever change that. She is in his life for good, whether he wants it or not. You don't have to be.

I would advise you to extricate yourself from this relationship now. The longer you wait the worse it will be. Do not talk to him on the phone, email, text or anything. Cut off all communication. It is a blessing that he doesn't live near you. You will not have to worry about running into him.

I know you feel as if you still love him, but I think that is just the hurt talking. He was a big part of your life and now that has changed. Whenever there is loss there is pain. You will grieve and get past this, but not if you stay in contact with him.

You are still a young woman and in my mind you are so much better off without this man. You can do so much better and now you have the opportunity to try. If you had had a baby by this guy you'd be stuck with a cheater. You'd be home with a baby and he would be out cheating on you with other women - just exactly what he is doing to the mother of his child now.

Try to meet some new guys. Go out with your friends. Forget about this man. He is bad news.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (24 February 2011):

dirtball agony auntYou really love a man who cheated on you and got another girl pregnant because you weren't ready for a baby?

Dump him! He doesn't love you. If he loved you, he wouldn't be fucking someone else.

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