A
female
age
30-35,
*np1005
writes: Hi everyone…I’m hoping someone can give me some advice. Last night I went to see my boyfriend after he got off work. When we were sitting together I noticed a small piece of glitter on the bottom of his nostril. Just one piece. I got upset and started questioning him. At first he wasn’t mad, but then he got pretty pissed. We are now barely speaking because of this. I told him that I wanted to know where the glitter came from and who the girl was that it came off of. He told me that had no idea where it came from and that it was definitely not from another girl. He told me that he was sweeping the floor at work (he works in a restaurant) and that maybe the piece of glitter was on the floor and flew up onto his face. He swears up and down that he has no clue where it came from.Does this sound like BS or does it sound like he’s telling me the truth? I have no reason to believe he would cheat on me. I’m just very upset about this piece of glitter :(
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Arcturius +, writes (22 September 2010):
That stuff gets everywhere. I've found it stuck to me and couldn't tell you why, or where it came from if my life depended on it. Keep you eyes open, and be alert for anything he might do to make you think he's being unfaithful, but If you have nothing to go on other than a piece of glitter, I wouldn't worry about it.
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (15 September 2010):
Despite what we have all said you STILL seem to be hung up about this. You don't want to believe your boyfriend because you are "afraid to let it go."
I don't even know what you mean by that. But, the way you have reacted over this glitter makes me wonder if you have deeper trust issues that you need to address. I don't think your reaction is normal. Moreover, you are truly going to push your bf away if you carry on with this sort of behaviour. It sounds a bit unhinged to me, and no guy wants a paranoid gf who is going to have a go at him when he has done nothing wrong.
You owe him a massive apology. And if you are STILL having doubts then perhaps you need to have a good look at yourself and the relationship because I think there is an underlying problem somewhere.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 September 2010):
Darling, have you not read any of the fantastic advice given below?? If not you need to take a moment to do so, please. I agree with CaringGuy and Dirtball apologize asap!
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 September 2010):
It WASN'T from a girl! 13 people on here have all said you're overreacting! And you are. Go apologize to him and work on your trust issues.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 September 2010):
OH MY GOD YES!!!! Let it go. Give him a BIG apology. An hope he forgives you.
Otherwise you need to move on and work on your trust issues. If you can't trust someone who has given you (as you said) NO reason to doubt him, then the issue lies with you, not him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anp1005 +, writes (15 September 2010):
anp1005 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo…everyone here thinks that I should apologize to him and let it go? I’m afraid to let it go…what if it WAS from a girl? I met up with my boyfriend last night and we talked about it. He still swears he doesn’t know where it came from. Should I believe him?
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 September 2010):
Where are you thinking it came from? A stripper's glittery stage makeup? Could have been a drag queen's glittery made up eyes. It could have came from a child who had some on their shoe from the school project they were working on, who happened to dine with their family in that restaurant. Your boyfriend was sweeping up the floor hence kick up dirt, dust, and that speck of glitter. Sorry but one speck of glitter isn't enough evidence.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 September 2010):
No, no one here would think glitter was a sign of cheating. The last thing you'd find on a cheating man is glitter.
...............................
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (14 September 2010):
WOW! You overreacted big time. If that was me and I was being accused of cheating on you over a piece of glitter, I would dump you in a heartbeat. And, you said you have no reason to believe he would cheat on you....NO REASON. Why the interrogation then?
You need to apologize and you need to do it fast.
WOW! Don't do that again.
...............................
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (14 September 2010):
Goodness me you sound crazy.
Jumping to immediate conclusions over nothing. I pity your boyfriend, no wonder he is pissed off.
If you want to talk to him I suggest you give him a BIG apology and try to moderate your behaviour next time. It makes you look needy, clingy and insecure. Three of the worst attributes I can imagine in a girlfriend.
Tell him you are sorry you overreacted and try to be a bit rational next time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): to be honest I know where you are coming from, you were obviously upset about it. I think I would of done the same thing ! I have been going out with my boyfriend for three years and he has never cheated or anything, but because you love him you would have just been scared of losing him. You just need to let him know that you do trust him and that it was just an overreaction and that you were just scared of loosing him. I think he will be fine, good luck :) xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anp1005 +, writes (14 September 2010):
anp1005 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone..thanks for your input. I know I sound crazy :( Everyone I’ve told about the situation thinks I over-reacted. I’m just afraid of being cheated on I guess. I don’t want to be with someone that has been cheating on me the whole time and find out years later.
I have no reason to think that he would cheat on me at all. He was with some friends before work yesterday, went to work, then went over to one of our mutual friend’s houses. That’s when I saw the glitter, I don’t see how he would have found time in his day to cheat, but still.
So, no one here would suspect cheating because of this piece of glitter?
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (14 September 2010):
I think you have overreacted to this so much. If it was a single piece of glitter it could have come from ANYWHERE. Literally, on the wind, in the air, if he touched a table then rubbed his nose. Anywhere. He probably didnt even know it was there.
Imagine how he feels right now. He came home from work and his girlfriend (who supposedly loves him) has a go for something he didnt have a clue about. She then accuses him of cheating on her. How would you feel? A bit shitty.
You need to apologise to him, big style and learn to trust him. If you cant trust him then you have no relationship.
If it was on the opposite foot and he had accused YOU, how would you feel?
Say sorry and hope he doesnt dump you.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 September 2010):
I think you owe your boyfriend a huge apology, in my opinion. A piece of glitter could have come from anywhere. The last place it would have come from would be a girl. I'd also say that you need to work on your trust issues, because you'be accused him of cheating over absolutely nothing. You've not even got a reason to suspect him of cheating. Say sorry to him, and seriously work on trust issues. You will lose him and every other guy if you don't do this now.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 September 2010):
WTF, really?!? Glitter gets everywhere, and sticks. You can't get rid of the shit even if you were no where near it. He is very likely not lying, and you're freaking out about NOTHING.
Why do you immediately assume he's cheating on you over a piece of glitter? There are plenty of places where people can come in contact with glitter. He has every right to be mad at you. You don't trust him at all. You sound insecure and a bit high strung. Take a chill pill and try not to jump to conclusions.
Here's how I would have handled your questioning:
"What is that on your nose? GLITTER!!! WHO IS SHE?!?"
"Damn strippers, don't they know that shit gets everywhere..."
Then you'd probably have slapped me and left, doing me a huge favor since you can't trust the guy you're with anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, Elydiese +, writes (14 September 2010):
i get glitter on me all the time and never know where it comes from every one does it just appears its glitter for god sake get over yourself
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): you re making a huge fuss about a piece of glitter lolit could come from anywhere!! :D and like you said hes workin in restaurant so ofcourse lots of ppl get in get out , to me it sounds like hes telling the truth , besides u said he got no reason to cheat on u so no worries.I HATE IT WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND DOES SUCH THINGS LOL SHE GETS UPSET OVER THE SMALLEST THING AND WHEN I GET PISSED , THATS WHEN SHE REALLY BELIEVES I CHEAT ON HER EVEN THOUGH I NEVER!!!
...............................
|