A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My 27 Girlfriend is in heavy debt.We've been together for about a year and things are starting to get serious, we are thinking of renting a place and buying a few things together. I wanted to know what place we could afford and obviously set some sort of working budget.I found out shortly that she has 9 loans in total!!!3 credit cards, student loan, car loan, furniture loan, and 3 other out standing loans.We did a budget for her own expenses at the moment and worked out she's hemorrhaging $400+ a month!! (she's spending $400 more a month than earning) and paying creditcards off with other cards or loans!Since finding this out i've asked her to reduce her debt somehow but she always gets angry and avoids the problem. she also wants to move in together and start something new but what the hell do i do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 September 2010):
DO NOT move in with this woman until she addresses her problem. Credit and Debt companies don't just work on names, they work on addresses too. So if you live at the same address as her, your name gets dragged into the mess as well. She needs to be open about this, and needs to be dealing with her debts. Whilst it would be lovely if love would conquer all, the truth is it doesn't. The last thing you need is for debt agencies to be coming around to take her stuff away and drag your name into it. Before you two move in, you need a commitment from her that she will deal with the debts she has. If she doesn't, think seriously about this woman, because you will never be able to trust her with money at all.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Yeah, it's not ideal for you two to move in together unless you want to solely be paying the rent, utilities, cable/internet, on top of all your other bills. It should be split down the middle, not the guy shells out for everything. So she's got financial issues, everyone has debt. The student loans and car loan are standard and she'll probably be paying on for awhile. The 3 outstanding loans, 3 credit cards and furniture loans need to be paid off first. Have any of these went to collections, yet? It looks like she might have to get a second job to help pay off some of this debt, she doesn't need anymore loans or any more credit cards that's for sure. The best way is to start with the smallest bill, pay extra on it to get rid of it faster. Then tackle the next bill..I would see a credit counselor(a free one) so they can give her tips to reducing her debt. I wouldn't move in together until she tries to reduce her debt.
http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/savinganddebt/managedebt/p36230.asp
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Whatever you do, don't combine your finances!
Ok, debt isn't a reason to leave someone or not proceed like you have been. If you feel that moving in together is a good idea (i.e. you want to do it too) then go for it. The reduced rent for both of you would help her pay her debt off.
I don't know about Australia, but in America, we have all sorts of debt consolidation companies, that can combine credit card debt and reduce payments while paying them off faster. The key to doing something like that is sticking to the plan. Often, people will look at their "extra" money and get spend happy again. That's why I suggest keeping your finances completely separate until she can get a handle on this. Debt can get out of control very quickly. Her other option may be bankruptcy.
You need to discern how serious she is about getting out of debt and weigh that into your decision to help her. By help, I mean set up her budget, help her make sure her bills are paid (with her money), and making sure she doesn't spend any extra. This will likely put a lot of strain on your relationship though.
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