A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I have been seeing each other for about 15 months and she has lied to me on numerous occasions but denies cheating on me. I love her very much but her explanations for things that she has done leaves me doubting her.Here is a list of what has happened so far. I picked her up from an unexpected night out at the pub she claimed she was out with work mates (who didn’t even exist) but eventually she told me that she had pretended to go out so it would appear that she led a more interesting life. About a month into relationship.I watched her get into a car with another man but she denies she did and cannot remember the incident. About 2 months into relationship.She told me to stay away from the house as she had she had a home appointment with a nurse for a blood test which later turned out to be untrue and she said she made it up to make her feel a little more important. 2 or 3 months into relationship.We were in bed and she received a phone call from another ex of hers and she jumped out of bed went extremely red when he put to her that he had not seen her in a while and was wondering what was up. She then told me she was going to ring him have him come around to help her with her VCR on a Saturday night when I was working. 3 months into relationship. There were missed phone calls on her mobile from her ex 3/4 months after we met.She denied any contact with her ex for months before we met but a phone bill proved she was in contact with him a week or so before we met.There was a brief phone call to an ex partner on phone bill which she said was down to stress and an extreme dislike for him and she just wanted to upset someone and he was top of her list. 9 months into relationshipHer mobile phone was always with her (almost glued to her hand in fact) before I confronted her about seeing another man or men since then she has hardly used it. After the confrontation she deleted her ex’s numbers off the phone. 9 months into relationshipWe were on a family trip (children present) and she flirted/flaunted with a man to the point where he said to me "I could have her". When I confronted her she claimed she had no idea what I was talking about and could not remember the incident or flirting with anyone at all and must have done it subconsciously. She has also told me she has worked in places that she has not, been places she has not and admitted to me that she has lied about it.She is very convincing when she says nothing has happened and always tells me she loves me and I am the love of her life. But I am looking for someone else’s opinion on these matters. Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): If she aint a cheat then she`s a liar. I think she`s both.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 No idea if she is a cheat. Quite possibly not. But she is a compulsive liar and appers to have other major issues, perhaps very low self esteem. You need to ask yourself if you have the energy to handle (and help) someone like this over the long haul.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Turn and run. Its not worth it. She will only cause you grief.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Leave her asap. OBVIOUSLY this woman is a cheat. If you just want confirmation from someone else, there you go!
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 It's difficult to tell if she's cheated or not, but in my opinion the cheating is secondary to her lying. She seems like a chronic liar. Going out to seem like she has more of a life than she has? Not being able to come to her house because he has an appointment? She's a habitual liar and your love is blinding you from accepting that. She knows how much you love her which is why she continues to do the things she does. She figures no matter what she does she will just pull you back in when she says you are the love of her life.
She's using you. Some part of her may love you, but her behavior will never change. I'm sorry.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 September 2010):
I'm surprised you've bothered staying. Either she's a cheat, or she has some SERIOUS issues. One of those two. The time has come to end it and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): eventually she told me that she had pretended to go out so it would appear that she led a more interesting life
turned out to be untrue and she said she made it up to make her feel a little more important
We were on a family trip (children present) and she flirted/flaunted with a man to the point where he said to me "I could have her".
She has also told me she has worked in places that she has not, been places she has not and admitted to me that she has lied about it.
There is something wrong with a person who does all of the above things. My opinion on the matter is that she is desperate for attention and also, gets her self worth from making you jealous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Its not about cheating,its about the effect this woman is having on you. You need to get out of it.
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