A
female
age
51-59,
*akotahol
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months. He is 30 years old and we seem to be having sexual problems. Some time I can not make him get hard, other times we start to have sex and he goes soft or we go forever and he never cums. I have only had one other sexual partner so I have not experience with this. Is it normal. He says it's not me he had the same problem with his ex. Is it too much stress in his life or should he go see a doctor and get Viagra? I would appreicate any advice.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I can't really relate but it sounds kinda like an ED problem for a urologist to deal with. I'm skepticle about these ED ads anyway though . They show the women as the initiator which I find alien to me. Usually the last one in the room wanting sex is the female.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I agree with the other posters - it's not you. Could be stress or could be that his prior GF messed with his head. My current BF had similar problems in the beginning of our relationship and it was definitely caused by a combination of the actions of his prior GF and stress levels.
It took me some time of reassuring him that I wasn't going to treat him the same that she did (demeaning him during sex), stress levels evening out, etc.
Be patient with him. Don't badger him. Be reassuring. Help him with whatever is stressing him, if possible. If things don't get better, Viagra may be the answer.
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A
female
reader, magmolicious +, writes (31 August 2010):
My husband is the same age and sometimes he has the same problem. I can assure you that it's definitely NOT you. I'm sure your partner thinks you're beautiful! If he is losing his erection in the middle of sex...it is absolutely not your fault at all!
This happens with my hubby sometimes, and with him it's usually stress related (i.e. too much on his mind, or there was a traumatic incident), but sometimes there's a physical reason. One time he hurt his back at work and when we were intimate the pain interfered with his erection so we didn't finish.
When this happens I usually stop and give him a while. Trust me, if you're sad about it, imagine how HE feels! I tell him it's ok and we talk or do something else.
Maybe you could help your partner find a way to manage stress. If this problem is happening all the time then you should see a doctor (my hubby saw one and had a physical to check for prostate and other issues) but our doc said his issue didn't require meds. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 August 2010):
It's him. And if he's had it with two women and he's only 30, he should probably see a doctor. Just be gentle with him, as ED can be a big thing for guys.
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