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Can I live in a non intimate relationship?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2010)
A female age , anonymous writes:

My husband never wants sex. Why is that? I have a neighbor,and they are having wild sex,I can hear them every few days. I think ,it is rude, to leave the windows open, but it is like a reminder,what is missing here. Am I guilty to feel deprived and let down/ ? I don't know what is wrong with him. But he is doing this to me years ago.Is this the end? Can you live in an non intimate relationship?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010):

Thanks for the answers. GoddessHK , , CaringGuy, kirra07

But yes ,we did talk about this a lot, and my husband does not know ,what is his problem. He is losing erections,and not getting aroused. But medically he is all right ,however, he cant say what seem to be wrong/ That is why Im writing here. If it would be that simple, that just talk to him,things would be easier. But we are way over that. SO ,if anybody has any other idea, please let me know. Thanks..

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (30 August 2010):

I agree with CaringGuy, you need to talk to your husband and figure out why he doesn't want sex. If it's due to stress, or not being able to get aroused, or not feeling very passionate anymore, etc etc. Depending on why this is, you can try to solve it together, whether it's seeing a doctor, or therapy, or working to bring passion back to the bedroom by making time for it and trying different things.

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A female reader, GoddessHK Hong Kong +, writes (30 August 2010):

Some people are very happy in a non-intimate relationship, providing that BOTH partners are happy with this. You are not happy, so this situation needs to change. You need to speak openly and honest with your husband, being very careful not to be accusatory or argumentative.

Tell him how much you love him, and how much you enjoy sex with him, and how you are missing that intimacy. Trust me, this issue will not resolve itself. If he doesn't want to talk to you about it, encourage him to go for counselling. Ideally, you should have couples counselling. Make it clear that you want to be supportive, and help him (so that you can have a happy, satisfying partnership). If he refuses all of the above, then he should be willing to give you permission to seek your sexual satisfaction outside the marriage.

When you got married, you didn't sign up for this! It is utterly selfish for either partner to deny the other sex. That said, I hope that this can be resolved through gentle communication and/or counselling.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2010):

Have you actually spoken to your husband? He may have erectile dysfunction, or may think you're not interested. I think you need to talk to your husband first before even thinking that this is the end.

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