A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. Im 21 and after a year and a half of a long distance relationship I ended it with my boyfriend (whose 24). Why? His friend spilt out everything to me, He told me how my boyfriend has repetitively cheated on me whilst we're apart. So I ended it via email straight away, My boyfriend denied everything.. then suprisingly after a few hours admitted to everything. That was 3 months ago. For the first 2-3 weeks I ignored every communication from him. I believe he realised I was serious and that I wasnt coming back to him. He sent me an 11 page email declaring his apologies and how much he misses me.Over the past three months I have kept the conversation light and civil. He has repetitively apologised and said that he want's to do good and change. He even booked himself a flight here for a week to see me and apologise. He came over on Tuesday, I was so overwhelmed with feelings when I saw him, good and bad. On friday he took me out for dinner and then we walked along the beach nearby, which I thought was just going to consist of alot of talk and re-connecting. However...He proposed. He then broke into tears and told me 'I physically can't be without you, I've completely messed up and I want a fresh start with nobody but you'. In the heat of the moment I said Yes.Is this relationship doomed?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): I believe that he is truly sorry because theres no way that he would take a flight and apologize to you if he didnt want things to work out. Since you said that you thought that whenever you broke up, he thought it was for real and I think that he didnt want that to happen and flew to you and proposed because he didnt want to leave you. I think it was just because he didnt want to break up so he proposed. Im not saying that he doesnt want to marry you because I dont know what your relationship is like, but I think you two should sit down and talk about everything and make sure its what you both want.
A
female
reader, holliegeorgie.x  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Instead of instantly ending the relationship you should have questioned him on why he did what he did. It couldn't be classed as just a heat of the moment because he did it more than once. Ask him what made him behave in the way he did. I think instead of instantly accepting you should have got to know him again, the so called 'new' him. If he loves you so much he'll work to regain trust and start again.
Speak to him about how you feel, how upset and angry you are with him but also explain your love towards him. Don't rush into marriage, you need to trust he wont repeat hurting you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 August 2010):
Proposed! You said yes! I'd say congratulations, except for that fact that you're in a huge mess here. This guy cheated on you several times, has proved nothing at all other than he can sweet talk you, and you've fallen for it all!
You need to end the engagement and think. This guy repeatedly cheated on you. A ring won't change that. Nor will it change the fact that he most certainly has not changed in a matter of months. Changing takes a lot longer than that. This is the nightmare, and you need to stop and seriously think. A ring on a finger with this guy means nothing.
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