| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
In love with my 24 year old English teacher
Q. Hey everyone, im very confused and depressed, i have fallen in love with my 24 year old english teacher who also teaches math coaches football and baseball this happened when i was in grade 10 i just cant get over him, ive never been in love before ...
A. 27 August 2010: Your response is so out of order it's unbelievable. You sit there and say 'thanks for nothing'.
Are you not listening!?
YOU CAN RUIN HIS LIFE!
What is it with teenage girls and teachers! You would rather him have his life ruined than listen ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 24 August 2010: From reading your response, I'm sure that for your sake you're making the right decision. It's all about you being totally prepared and completely ready for the split, which will be hard. Get support, make sure you have everything worked out and you ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to start talking Marriage??
Q. Hey everyone i have a dilemma when i was in the 5th grade i met my first love we broke up in sixth grade and started back talking in high school about 3years ago but he was very conceited and stuck up now we are both 20 and now he have a daughter ...
A. 24 August 2010: TOO SOON! Your response says it all. After one month, you do now know whether you can handle it. When that daughter of his needs shoes, needs her Dad, needs anything, you'll be put back. That's the way it is, that's the way it will be. Even if you ... (read in full...)
My partner keeps doing favours for his ex wife!
Q. I have been with my partner over 2 years. He has got 2 kids already. They r lovely boys and we get on very well. It's his ex wife who I can't stand. She still works for my partner, she hardly do anything and still gets paid very good money. When she ...
A. 24 August 2010: It's going nowhere, I'm afraid. She can't stop him seeing his son. He can just take her to court and say she's using the son as a blackmail tactic and get 50/50 custody, perhaps even more if the court think she's unstable. Your boyfriend just isn't ... (read in full...)
Do men like when a woman takes charge?
Q. hi im looking for some advice, im seeing this great guy,hes 3yrs older,we avnt been able 2 see each much wit work n stuff,do men like if you take charge n just say im calling over,or does he like to be in control,i dont want 2 play it cool because ...
A. 24 August 2010: Some men do like it when a woman takes charge. Others don't. I'd suggest that you call him and ask him out, rather then just turn up. That way he is able to make a decision, and you get to see what's going on. ... (read in full...)
He called me a liar because he does not like to say no to his ex!
Q. hi everyone, please could you share your thoughts. . Do you think that this is fair: my boyfriend and i were tryin to plan a holiday we had agreed a week and he said yes bøok off with work. When he was told by ex when was having son over hols and ...
A. 24 August 2010: You've picked an idiot. I feel bad for you. But you've picked a guy who basically was so afraid of your reaction that he took the truth and twisted it in your face. Now, his son does come first. That's very fair, and absolutely right. I won't take ... (read in full...)
I'm so in love with a teacher it hurts...
Q. Hi, When I was in year 8 at school a new English teacher joined (Mr T) That year my English left so we had a new one which was (Mr T) that's when I realised I was in love. Something clicked one day I didn't care it's just a teacher the next day...
A. 24 August 2010: This is just something you have to get over. You already almost got into trouble, so try anything else and that's it. He's even had to be careful because his own career could have been in serious jeopardy. Back right away and focus on your own life. ... (read in full...)
Could she be lying about how many men she has slept with?
Q. I need help with a question that's been floating around in my mind. I'm very much in love with my girlfriend and we've been dating for about 1 1/2 years now. We recently got engaged. Here's the issue... My girlfriend/fiancé is from a very smal...
A. 24 August 2010: If you can't handle this now, end the engagement and leave. Yes, she could be lying. And since you're already worried about the 22 men, she's clearly got a good reason to lie since you may not be able to handle it. The point is that you're supposed ... (read in full...)
What's the possibility if a cheater of the following traits reforming?
Q. This might sound like a silly question to all of you here but I just couldn't help but ask. The man as describe below is after me and I am very very tempted. What's the possibility if a cheater of the following traits reforming? 1. 31 years old...
A. 24 August 2010: 31
Cheated on ex's for at least 4 years.
One night stands
Lied to single women.
He'll never change. Period. DON'T GO WITH HIM. You're not suddenly going to change him into a knight. You couldn't be sure if he was single, if he was committed, i... (read in full...)
I had a drunken kiss with another guy, and now my boyfriend has demanded I never see or speak to him again! And this would mean losing all my friends, what should I do?
Q. if someone fell in love with you, and did everything to try and make you his, when he knew you were happy with another bloke "M" that he knew was a perfectly nice bloke; then you made some mistakes (getting drunk and letting "I" kiss you and then a ...
A. 24 August 2010: Who do you want? The boyfriend you cheated on, or your friends. Choose, because you can't have both. ... (read in full...)
What is worse: Cheating because you find someone attractive or cheating because you are in love with the other person?
Q. would you think it was worse if someone cheated on you just because they thought someone was good looking and there were no feelings involved, or if they were in love with someone else they knew well (a good friend) and got drunk and and cheated on ...
A. 24 August 2010: Cheating is cheating. Either is bad. If you cheat because someone is attractive, then your partner isn't enough for you. If you cheat because you love someone, then your partner enough for you. Same reason, really. A cheat's a cheat. ... (read in full...)
I said my ex had a dream body when in bed with my girlfriend! How do I fix this stupid mistake?
Q. Hello people, I think I screwed up hard and need help! I was talking in bed with my girlfriend (talking about sex), until the point came that she said "I'd like to see your ex, I want to know how she looks like". I am a such stupid person, s...
A. 24 August 2010: Unlucky. All I can say is get buying stuff (flowers and all that) and continue to say sorry and that your girlfriend is perfect. Either she will forgive or she won't. ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend is addicted to text chat sites where he sends pictures of himself to random women! What should I do?
Q. hi hope you can help me i have been with my boyfriend for a year and when we got on we get on really well we are going on holiday in a week , last night i found out that he has been on a flirting phone site when they send dirty texts to random women ...
A. 24 August 2010: To be honest, run a mile. He's done nothing to stop this addiction, he's basically cheated one way or another, and he's doing nothing now either. All he's done is come clean and carried on. He's not even worth the bother.... (read in full...)
He abuses me and checks out other women, yet despite this I still cant leave him. How can I focus on the negatives in the relationship and finally leave him?
Q. I have been dating a man for almost a year. This man takes care of my bills and he says he wants to marry me. He has been physically abusive with me, to an extent where I should know he is not the one for me. I have been abused by my ...
A. 24 August 2010: If you were abused by one person (your father), it doesn't surprise me that you've now gone into the arms of another abuser. But, when it comes to it, you need to ask yourself whether you want your own children (should you have them) to go through ... (read in full...)
Am I weird at 22 to not want to go to nightclubs every night?
Q. Am I a weirdo/loser if I don't like going to nightclubs every week? I'm 22, going into my final year at uni. I went out last night for someones birthday and my friend had to go back because he was ill so i was the only guy left. I heard what mus...
A. 24 August 2010: Not in the slightest. I'm your age, and I hate nightclubs. I prefer a pub. Bring back the good old days!... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 24 August 2010: If you are serious about doing this, then you need to be prepared that this will be nasty. I say that, because in my few years of experience watching my friends' parents get divorced (I'm only 22, so haven't been through this), divorces get messy, ... (read in full...)
Is my penis size good?
Q. hi, i am 15 and have a 6 inch penis with a 5 inch girth, is this good?...
A. 24 August 2010: Perfectly fine.... (read in full...)
Seeing 2 guys and want to tell one of them I just want to be friends, how do I do this?
Q. I'am in such a stuck situation please help. Ive been single now for a while and ive been seeing these two guys. They both really attracted to me both are really sweet and seem like the really know how to treat a girl. The problem is out of the two ...
A. 24 August 2010: You're just going to have to bite the bullet and end it. Yes, he will be hurt. But you can't just 'stay friends' after all this. If your heart is set on the other guy, then end it completely and let him move on. Or people will just think you're ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to start talking Marriage??
Q. Hey everyone i have a dilemma when i was in the 5th grade i met my first love we broke up in sixth grade and started back talking in high school about 3years ago but he was very conceited and stuck up now we are both 20 and now he have a daughter ...
A. 24 August 2010: This is way too early. You were basically children when you were together, and there were problems with his character. Since then, he's had a child. And you've only been really dating for one month. There is so much yet that you haven't truly had to ... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much, too soon?
Q. Am I expecting too much too soon?? I just met this guy less than a month ago....when he first got my number he texted me non stop....that night we hung out for a couple hours....the next morning he sent me a text saying good morning honey an...
A. 24 August 2010: Sorry, I think we misunderstood about the 'game' thing. But the advice still stands. Basically he was a bit slow to respond, whereas you saw more. So it's best to just back away for the moment and see what happens. ... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much, too soon?
Q. Am I expecting too much too soon?? I just met this guy less than a month ago....when he first got my number he texted me non stop....that night we hung out for a couple hours....the next morning he sent me a text saying good morning honey an...
A. 24 August 2010: This would be a bit terrifying to be honest. I seem to remember a girl freaking out on me when I hadn't text after just five hours a few years ago. Needless to say I gently said goodbye to her.
You say he played games, and yet you did play one your... (read in full...)
Would this be considered the same kind of relationship?
Q. a gf of mine asked me a question with regard to her current involvment with her lover. she asked me if this man that she has been sleeping with for several years has a live in gf would this be considered the same as a married man having a long te...
A. 24 August 2010: Cheating guys generally continue that way. He has the best or both worlds, so why would he end it? ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to want sex all the time?
Q. i want to know what a sex addicit is? the reason why im asking is because alot of my friends tease me saying im far too addicted to sex for a normal girl, im not in a relationship but have friends with benefits, and i see them very often, im not on ...
A. 24 August 2010: I don't think so. I think you're a normal girl with a high sex drive. Perhaps those friends are a little jealous. As long as you're happy and safe, then I think you'll be fine. ... (read in full...)
Would this be considered the same kind of relationship?
Q. a gf of mine asked me a question with regard to her current involvment with her lover. she asked me if this man that she has been sleeping with for several years has a live in gf would this be considered the same as a married man having a long te...
A. 24 August 2010: He is a cheat in EXACTLY the same way as a married man would be. There's no fake marriage license, that's all. If she's seeing this guy, then she's no better than any other homewrecker and needs to move on before she's made out as the bad person and ... (read in full...)
Is 30 years and 3000 miles such a problem?
Q. ok everyone when i was young i had a fake profile on a dating site i fell in love with a man on that site at the time but i could never tell him who i really was now i am 19 and i see he is still on the site i am so happy he is still single as i ...
A. 24 August 2010: You know nothing about this man. At all. He could be married. He could be a nut case. Plus you had a fake account, so who knows what he will think. This screams "bad idea". ... (read in full...)
I talked bad about him, I feel bad! I want him back!
Q. Hi there, I need your help so desperately. My boyfriend and I were together for 14 years. We have two boys together. A month ago he broke up with me because I bad talk him with his sister and his ex. I know I was wrong to do that but I was hurt that ...
A. 24 August 2010: This is a guy who cheated on you. Why do you want him back? Talking bad about him is nothing in comparison to what he did to you. ... (read in full...)
My friend is on birth control and I'm not sure she's using it correctly!
Q. My friend and I both went to the public clinic about three months ago to start on Birth Control. I went on the Nuvaring, she's on the Evra patch. She's very sexually active with her boyfriend, and we are very open and honest about this kind ...
A. 24 August 2010: The moment a woman is not protected, she can become pregnant. Even during a period. Even a one in billion chance is still a chance. She's being a little immature. If she wants to screw up, fine. You warned her. Just be there with tissues and a ... (read in full...)
Insecure girlfriend, need help fast!
Q. I've been dating with this girl for 6-months now. I can feel our affection is growing day by day. However, she has some insecurity issues. She is 28, and I'm 24, she was divorced a year ago (kind of lost faith in men). Yesterday we went to t...
A. 24 August 2010: You need to tell her that you're concerned her trust issues will hurt you both. Explain that though she has been hurt before, that doesn't mean it will happen again and you will be there beside her to help her. But also explain that she must try to ... (read in full...)
Should I come clean? or live with the guilt?
Q. i was out one night with some friends and i got really drunk and i didnt really know what i was doing. i ended up having sex with this boy but i have a boyfriend who ive been with for over a year now and i love and care for him, so should i come ...
A. 24 August 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/cheated-on-my-boyfrienddont-know-what-to-do.html
Read this. Same question more or less, with one answer from TimD, and another from me. Both pretty much answer this.... (read in full...)
Ignoring me all over again!! what gives??
Q. Ok so I was with my ex for 8 months. We lived together, both had our own kids, the works. I was madly in love with him as I thought he was as well. Well we had a huge fight and he ended up moving out. I called/texted/emailed him almost daily. It was ...
A. 24 August 2010: Doesn't it strike you that this man had children with one woman, and that relationship failed, and now he has split up with you not once, but TWICE and both times has acted so immaturely. All the signs point that this guy is hugely immature, and a ... (read in full...)
Is it bad for a woman to date someone 3 years younger?
Q. I am 20 years old, fixing to be 21 in a few weeks.. and I really like this guy who is 17 years old. He can act pretty mature for his age but i'm not sure what others would think? Is it bad for a girl to date someone who is 3 years younger? ...
A. 23 August 2010: My girlfriend is more than three years older than me :). She claims her friends are a bit jealous - though maybe she's just stroking my ego. The point is, she's happy with me, and I'm happy with her. So no, there's nothing wrong with it. So long as ... (read in full...)
Over 65 and my wife no longer wants sex
Q. My wife has no more interest in sex. When I ask her what the problem is? She just says that she has lost all interest in sex. My question is, If I have sex with another woman would that be cheating? P.S. We are both over 65....
A. 23 August 2010: I'm afraid it will be cheating if you have sex with another woman. Let's face it, your wife wouldn't be all too pleased if she found out. If sex means that much, then you need to talk to her again, then make a decision. But don't just have sex with ... (read in full...)
Do you think every guy deserves a second chance?
Q. Hey i was just wondering do you think every guy deserves a second chance? In the begning of are relationship i told my bf if he ever cheats on me its over. (i was cheated on before by me ex and i kept giving him chances over and over and i dont ...
A. 23 August 2010: No second chance at this stage in your life. If you'd been in a relationship for some time, and it had been going stale and someone cheated, then maybe that could be fixed. Your boyfriend is talking crap. If you love someone, you don't cheat. So why ... (read in full...)
Confused Attractions
Q. I told a girl that I liked her. She rejected me. We became close friends and my feelings died down. However she came back to me months later and said that she has feelings for me now, but she is confused as to whether she does or not. Are her ...
A. 23 August 2010: I had a girl do this to me. I fancied her, she didn't fancy me. Then a few months later, she decided she did. Not a good sign. Either she misses the attention, or her feelings are unreliable and she does't really know how she feels. Keep this girl ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my boss!
Q. i fancy my manager at work, hes 10 years older than me, hes married though, we flirt alot and when we go out for drinks we get quite touchy feeling, i know he wont leave his wife, and i wouldnt want him to but i really want to have sex with hi...
A. 23 August 2010: Leave your job. You need to respect that he's married. If you can't, then later in life when you're hurt by someone, no one will care. Also, this is the sort of thing that can give someone a bad reputation. One fling with a married man, and women ... (read in full...)
Insecure girlfriend, need help fast!
Q. I've been dating with this girl for 6-months now. I can feel our affection is growing day by day. However, she has some insecurity issues. She is 28, and I'm 24, she was divorced a year ago (kind of lost faith in men). Yesterday we went to t...
A. 23 August 2010: There is nothing you can say. Even a lie detector couldn't solve this girls' problems. Unless she gets help for herself and starts to get over this pain, you'll be the one who gets hurt here. Go with her to counselling or something and listen to ... (read in full...)
I don't have a job! what should I tell people at my brothers wedding?
Q. I'm not sure what to do. I have been invited for a night out in a group for my friend's birthday, and i am also going to my brother's wedding soon, but i feel embarrassed because i dont have a job and i know that people usually ask what you do for a ...
A. 23 August 2010: I don't have a job either at the moment. It's a drag. But it's important that you're honest so you don't get caught lying, or you'll look even worse. Just say that you've been the victim of the recession and that you're currently searching for work. ... (read in full...)
What is it with my bf texting but not calling?
Q. Do some guys just not like calling? My boyfriend seems to only like texting and we only talk on the phone every few days. If I call him then he does answer or call me back but i just find it a bit strange. Has anyone else been in a similar situat...
A. 23 August 2010: The world has changed. Texting is now something that is more wildly used. Personally, I can't stand it. I'd rather talk to my girlfriend. I think you should talk to him and just say that you'd like to talk more rather than just text. See what his ... (read in full...)
I like this guy but he is not over his ex!
Q. okay, so ive started talking to this guy online about 4 months ago, thats when he his gf broek up with him, they had been together for 3 years and he still really loves her, but he knows he's never going to get back with her, and he's now started ...
A. 23 August 2010: If he's not over his ex, forget him. You'll always be second best, and you don't know that she won't come back at some point. He's not a good guy if he's looking for someone, knowing that the girl will always be second best to his ex. Not a good ... (read in full...)
Having trouble getting into the dating scene!
Q. I put forward a question here awile back and received excellent suggestions/opinions/advice. I thought I'd do it again. I'm a 55-year old male. For whatever reason, I've inherited the "youthful gene". No complaints about that. When people gues...
A. 23 August 2010: I say keep going as you are, and just look out for that special woman. The right person is always hard to find, and they nearly always come along when you least expect it. If you don't want to bother with 20 year old, don't. Just keep going as you ... (read in full...)
In love with my 24 year old English teacher
Q. Hey everyone, im very confused and depressed, i have fallen in love with my 24 year old english teacher who also teaches math coaches football and baseball this happened when i was in grade 10 i just cant get over him, ive never been in love before ...
A. 23 August 2010: Uh-huh. I had a friend like you. She thought the teacher liked her. Turned out he did. He then got jailed. She ruined her life. You have no right to ruin his life. I don't care what you say about 'atmosphere'. You came her asking for advice. I'm ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact about my boyfriend's drinking?
Q. I'm very staunchly against drinking and doing drugs. To make a long story short, I am the only sober person in my family. I'm proud of that. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I hate how people change when they get drunk. I hate how people make ...
A. 23 August 2010: So don't budge. Dump him and live your own life. There's no use in you getting mad and insulting people here who have given you advice and saying we're sad. The advice we gave was that you open up to the idea of compromise. You've come back and ... (read in full...)
I want to do PORN!!
Q. I want to do porn, but i come from a religious family and i dont want to disgrace them but its something that ive really tooken an interest to, i have the confidence and body to do it, and i have this really bad sex addiction which seems quite ...
A. 23 August 2010: If you want to do porn, then you need to accept that maybe your religious family will take time to come around to it. But you must do what you want to do. So if you are sure you want to do it, then go for it. ... (read in full...)
I cheated and he did too but he's lying about it!
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years but for two of them he has been incarcerated, while he was away i had an affair and stupidly told him about it. he chose to forgive me and recently returned home. most of the time everything is fine but every ...
A. 23 August 2010: What are you even doing with this guy? You have the proof, and he still denies it. He wouldn't admit it if you had video! And to top it off, he's been in jail and you've cheated as well. Stop trying to get him to admit he's done it, and walk away ... (read in full...)
In love with my 24 year old English teacher
Q. Hey everyone, im very confused and depressed, i have fallen in love with my 24 year old english teacher who also teaches math coaches football and baseball this happened when i was in grade 10 i just cant get over him, ive never been in love before ...
A. 23 August 2010: You read too much into his actions. There isn't anything there at all. He's just a teacher. He will catch the eyes of everyone in the hall, he will talk to everyone, he will smile to everyone because that's what he's paid to you. He knows as well as ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact about my boyfriend's drinking?
Q. I'm very staunchly against drinking and doing drugs. To make a long story short, I am the only sober person in my family. I'm proud of that. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I hate how people change when they get drunk. I hate how people make ...
A. 23 August 2010: I think it's a case of yes and no. My girlfriend doesn't drink, for the same reasons as you. She told me that. In respecting her decision, I never drink when I'm with her, of before I see her. But she has never asked me to completely give up.
Y... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
