A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend lives way down in the country about 30mins. from my home. I leave usually every Fri. and go down and spend the weekend with him, but sometimes things come up like me having to be a church the next day early, which is located closer to my home or if I want to make some plans with my sister or girlfriends I do. He broke-up with me over the weekend because he claims I don't want this as much as he did. I do, but I don't see any problem in me doing other things either one night or prior to going down to his house. He started getting mad and had catched an attitude and I told him I would be willing to talk this out, but he said no, I (me) didn't have any chemistry toward him. That I didn't act like I want to be there with him. What can I do to let him know that yes I do want to be with him, but I want to still do things with other people as well? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): You're probably right, but he did tell me early in the relationship that he wanted a companion that wants to cook with him and be with him. I probably gave him the idea that I wanted the same thing, since all my children are all grown and I would be a good candidate for that life. He's lonely I know, but I did have my circle of good friends before he came into my life. I gave up all of them when I was married for my ex and I swore that I was still going to go and do things with them if I got myself into another relationship. He is a good father to his kids, but he started treating me like he treats them and I'm a grown woman that wasn't used to that. I care so deeply for him, but I think I just liked being in a relationship. It beats being alone, but I do have my self respect to uphold.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 August 2010):
Notice how he blames you for everything? And has he said anything about 'drifting' apart for some time? No. Believe me, I know a shyster when I hear/see/sense one. This guy isn't getting the control he wants over you, so is moving on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): It's just that he was by himself all week after work and did look forward to some companionship besides his old friend next door. So he built hisself up all week for the weekend and I would disappoint him by needing or wanting to do something other than sit around his house. He tells me he loves me, but he thinks we wouldn't last. He said we've been moving in two different directions for awhile now and he said I'm not into him sexually enough.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Ah, sounds like he can't handle a short LDR and is rather clingy. Just explain to him that you have a life outside of this relationship, it doesn't mean you don't want to be with him but other things come up that's just part of life. If he isn't mature enough to understand that, then be glad you're done with this stage 5 clinger.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 August 2010):
You can't deal with a man who wants you pinned so he can control you. He wasn't willing to accept you do anything, and that's a bad sign. As you say, sometimes things come up, sometimes you want to do things with your friends, sometimes you have your own private things.
This guy seemed to just want total control, and comes across as far too needy and very insecure. That's something you can't deal with. As for chemistry, he's talking rubbish. That sounds like an excuse to me. Don't let a man take control of your life.
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