A
female
age
51-59,
*eesh43
writes:My ex boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me last February, because he wasn't ready for a commitment, and he didn't know what he wanted. The whole, "It's not you it's me" deal. I was heartbroken because I was happy. Since then we would hang out every now and then, the last being 3 months ago. I went through every emotion, but I continued to initiate contact (he wanted to stay friends). He would sometimes respond to my texts, other times, he would not. That was hard for me to accept, because I didn't understand why. Last week, my phone was in my purse and it had dialed him(I had text him Hi earlier that day). It went to his voicemail. When I realized what had happened, I hung up. He called me back within 10 min. I was surprised by that. I answered, and apologized for accidentally calling him. He sounded like he wanted to talk but I cut it short, telling him I was driving (I was). I told him it was nice to see him (we ran into each other at the gas station that morning). I had text him a couple of times since then, just friendly hellos, and letting him know I missed the silly times together. After thinking everything through, I've decided that I will no longer make contact because I no longer want to seen needy and clingy. I want him to see what it's like to never hear from me. This way, I will know for sure if he does still care. Is there a chance there may be something there? I think about him everyday, but I'm afraid all the texting has ruined my chances of him ever coming back to me.
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female
reader, meesh43 +, writes (31 August 2010):
meesh43 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses everyone, it is appreciated. I did slip up and text him Sat nite, and he responded that he wanted me to "stop the random texting, that he can talk to me, but that I need to stop these crazy texts." In my defense, I would keep in friendly contact, few and far between, but I would only get upset if he ignored me, after giving him plenty of opportunity to respond. I haven't contacted him since. It gets easier if I stay focused on me, my job, and my friends and family. One day at a time. =)
A
female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I am so sorry you are going throughj this. I am going through the same. I canpot get past a whole week without doing something, and i also get mixed messgaes , as he always responds. I am now trying agin for the last time to do that NO CONACT things It really really hurts, but its the only way forward eg: you will have time to get better, and he will have time to reconsider. I wish you al the bext with his - I cannot mangage it for long at all. xx
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I only have one real piece of advice when it comes to ex boyfriends and girlfriends.
Forget them and meet someone new
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 August 2010):
The trouble with love is that it make you think all these things that are otherwise impossible. All logic is thrown out in favour of total blind belief. You only have to look at other posts on this site to frequently see that love doesn't conquer all, but it certainly blinds all.
You have to take all your emotion away and look at the facts of your break-up and subsequent relationship. He broke up because he wasn't ready for commitment, and since then there has been no sign at all that he wants anything else. You need to move on here, because otherwise you'll suddenly realize that years of your life have been wasting waiting for a man who isn't going to commit. When anyone dumps you, don't wait around for them. Go, live your own life.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (30 August 2010):
This kind of playing games thing might work in the short term, but not the long. He might want to call/text/hang out more if you don't seek him out, but what does it matter if he does? This won't help make it work in an actual relationship. You can't play hard to get forever, and if you have to play games to get him back, it means it isn't working. If he cares about you and wants to be with you, he would be with you and trying to make it work. Don't get caught up in a lengthy on again off again relationship with your ex, or waiting around for him to come back. Just try to move on. If he does come back and says he wants to try again, evaluate it then.
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