A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I try so hard to have faith in myself as a person so that I can be confident, successful and have fun but I always fail. I don't know who I am and I can't connect well with the people who are in my life whether it be at work, my bf or my friends. I think about things too much and get anxious and can't be myself because I don't know who that is or I can't get the task done.It gets really frustrating and I stress myself out majorly to the point where I feel myself breaking. I don't talk to anyone about it because it's not their problem to deal with, it's all my fault. I am not strong enough or smart enough.How do I start believing in myself?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 April 2011):
You can only really believe in yourself when you have something to believe in. That means you'll have belief and self confidence when you have something in your life that makes you aim high, that makes you want to achieve.
I am a person who had a miserable time at school and utterly hated it. But I did well in exams, because my aim was to do well to get away.
I then moved into plumbing, and for a time was doing well. However, I lost my job and wound up on the social. People asked me how I didn't go mad and fall into depression, and how I still had belief. The reason was that I set a new goal, and that was to run my own company. I started that, and again it went well. However, a lack of work because of the recession forced me to close it again. People again asked me how I had so much belief. Because, again, I set myself a new goal, and though I've not reached it yet, I have seen significant progress that gives me a lot of hope.
The point is, you need to have some kind of focus on your own life. The people who do well in life are usually those who have a goal. They may never reach that goal, or they may have setbacks. But they're always strong and always doing something with their life because they have that single goal that they'll never give up on.
You need to sit down, and work out what your dream is. What is the thing in the world that you'd like to do. When you work out what that is, set out a logical plan to get there. Use jobs around you to get to that goal. So if you want to say, act, then get jobs in a theatre, or with a theatre group or something.
You need to have some kind of goal in your life that you think is worth fighting to the death for. I have that goal, and since then there has never been a time where I have felt the way you do. Find out what specific thing you want to do with your life, and aim for it. You may never reach it, but you'll have a lot more belief in yourself because you'll be actively doing things towards something you love to do.
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