A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few days ago my twin brother and I had our birthday party at our apartment. Our girlfriends were at the party with a few friends. We had quite a bit of different kind of liquor. Then I guess I passed out. In the morning, my brother's girlfriend loud voice woke me up. She had a fight with him because she found him slept with my girlfriend! When my girlfriend saw me, she started to cry and tried to explain. She told me that she thought he was me. My brother also apologized and his lame excuse was he had too much to drink. Really? I was angry and didn't know who to believe. I didn't talk much to my girlfriend and brother that morning while my bro's drama queen was making a scene. I left the apartment. Since then I haven't talked to either my brother and my girlfriend. Should I believe her story that she thought he was me? How do I know that she's telling the truth. My brother does look like me but my hair was a bit longer than him that night (an inch at least). I still love her but don't know if I can trust her anymore. I'm so depressed. What should I do? Dump her?
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male
reader, macdubh712 +, writes (12 April 2011):
If you give her another chance and she wants it then she better do WHATEVER it takes to earn your trust. As for your bro, who cares if he is stronger? Kick him in the balls as hard as you can when his attention is distracted then kick him in the face. Kick in balls = drop like stone.
A
female
reader, Godchild +, writes (7 April 2011):
I swear to god this happen to me when I was a teenager. I thought I was fooling around with the twin I was dating. When I realized he wasn't my boyfriend he wouldn't let me up. Keep in mind that your brother owes you more than she does. He knew better. I think people sometimes blame alcohol on what they already wanted to do. Maybe your girlfriend is telling the truth. Follow what's in your heart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): bottom line BOTH your brother and your gf are cheaters.they BOTH cannot be trusted.Dump your gf (yep just get rid of her)And tell your brother as far as you are concerned, he doesn't exist.LoveGirl
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): That is just batshit crazy. If you and your lady have been intimate and truly love one another, then there should be absolutely no excuse as to why she slept with your brother. And if she really thought it was you, doesn't that say something about how connected to you she really is? Does she really love you if she doesn't really know you? And I think it should be obvious that your brother is kind of a dirt bag. There is no way around that one. He is a skeevy sketch ball. I would try my best to never live anywhere near him again. He just did you so incredibly dirty and no amount of liquor can excuse that. I have blacked out. I have thrown up. I have had sex while being off the chain wasted. And never in any single one of those instances have I been unaware of who I was sleeping with or who I was talking to or who was standing next to me, twin or not. Your brother just can't be trusted.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): Dude, that really sucks, and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it. Good luck.On a different, but related, note. Drinking until "I guess I passed out" should really be loud on your radar right now too. That's not having fun, that's ruining your good time. I'm not saying you shouldn't drink. Drinking and getting drunk is fun, yes! So drink, have fun. But if you're blacking out? How fun was that? If you can't even remember when you blacked out, you're shooting yourself in the foot. That level of drinking should only happen every once in a great while, like for bachelor parties, weddings or the like (if even then), but not every time you drink.Sorry for the rant. I worry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): That is the most lamest excuse I've ever heard from anyone. Please do the following:
1. Dump her.
2. Punch the day lights out of your brother and tell him that you didn't do this to hurt him but to teach him a lesson. Then apologise to him later.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Thank you for all your logical advice. The more I think about it the more I believe my brother is an absolute scumbag. Our girlfriends are NOT twin. He could not have mistaken them no matter how drunk. Now I really feel like punching him in the face but then he probably kicks my ass if he fights. I don't want to sound like a wimp but he's always stronger.For my girlfriend, I still don't know what to think of it. I knew she had some drinks that night but as an anonymous said. Our techniques in bed is different. I've never seen my bro had sex but I guess it must be different. How could she not tell? Also I don't understand why would she want to try my brother. We look alike. To me, having sex with two identical twins is like having sex with one person twice because they look the same. I really want to know how drunk she was that night. Sadly our friends left even before I passed out and I don't think I could get honest answers from gf or bro. I still love her but I know things will never be the same. I'm lost...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Your brothers girlfriend was the one to find them both asleep together? Then it is entirely possible that your girlfriend was so drunk she might not have noticed an inch of hair difference. If she felt she was doing wrong, do you believe she would pass out with him only to be woken up by a screaming girlfriend where she knew she would be caught come the morning time?If she is of good moral fiber, and is not prone to this sort of behaviour, then I think in this instance, I would be more angry with the brother. You have no idea what his mannerisims were with her, if he was taking on your personna in a deliberate attempt to trick her drunken mind into thinking he was you. She might have felt something was off, but it could have been excused in her mind as the affects of the alcohol. You can question her at length, (ie what room were you in, how did it begin, how did it end, who started it, what made you confused between the two of us, and so on) and maybe from there you will be able to come to the most likely conclusion of what really happened.Sadly, this might be one of those cases where you will never truly know. Good Luck
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (5 April 2011):
 I'd be more mad at my brother, but I wouldn't buy that shit from my GF if I was in your position. My instinct would be to walk away from both of them. That was pretty much one of the worst things your brother could do to you, and he damn well knew what he was doing. Don't for a second think otherwise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): It could be a mistake...maybe.I know a set of identical twins. One has slightly longer hair than the other and I can always tell them apart. I'm not that close with them, never intimate with either. I don't even have their phone numbers. I wouldn't consider them friends more like acquaintances I have known for about 5 years now. They hang out with some friends of mine and are around. Anyway if I can tell the difference between these two then your GF, who you have been intimate with, should be able to tell the difference. I would first be mad at your brother, then at your GF. Honestly you may never know and should just dump her. I think she's lying. She didn't realize that she was going into his room and not yours? I don't know you guys, but I will bet you have had sex in your brothers room zero times. I would ask the people at the party if they saw anything. Most likely someone saw them getting close and then heading off to be alone. They may have been drunk and not thinking clearly, but not enough to "accidentally" have sex. Who accidentally has sex? Lastly after you clock your brother a few good ones, make up with him (not right away). He is your brother and your twin at that. If it was a friend then I would say stop talking to him, but a brother is for life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): It's possible she's telling the truth but whatever other people think, it really is 50/50 because no one other than her and maybe your brother actually knows.Personally I don't think you're going to be able to trust her after this. So it might be best to end things if that is the case.Your brother on the other hand *must* have known. He definitely couldn't of mistaken her for anyone else could he (I don't think it's possible to be that drunk unless you're near being in a alcoholic coma)? So it's him you should be the most angry with. He's also the one you should have a chat with about your girlfriend. Ask him, was it dark in the room and therefore possible for her to of gotten confused. Did they talk at all? How drunk did she seem etc.If he won't even try to answer he's probably hiding something.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): it is just an excuse. Even if you both look alike there are still ways to tell you guys apart. Obviously your technique iin bed is different and the way he reacts to her would be different. She is a liar and playing you for a fool dump her!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 April 2011):
She's a liar. Dump her. I wouldn't have too much to do with your brother either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): It was a drunken shag, whoever believed what and with no emotional committment - so what?Forget it and move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Sounds like a totally possible mistake and judging from her reaction (unless she does crocodile tears all the time) she is horrified by it.
It' a hard call between choosing to be angry at your brother or your girlfriend...but take this into account:
If anybody should have known who they were NOT sleeping with, it was your brother. It's not like he mistook her for his girlfriend...unless they are also identitcal twins. And it's not like he couldn't have said "no" if she mistakenly came onto him.
It's an awkward situation considering you live with him, but I wouldn't dump her to try to keep the peace. I have a feeling you'll have to confront your brother about this at some point whatever happens.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Oh god that is the worst excuse I've ever heard in my life. OP I'm sorry but drunk or not sex is never an accident. It can be a mistake and something you regret but it's never accidental. OP you've had enough sex to know exactly how it works. There are just too many steps involved in the lead up for it to be an accident. Being that close and personal and she didn't know it wasn't you? Gimme a break if she was that blind drunk then she would have been asleep.
OP there are too many steps involved in this as I said, they have to get cozy, cuddle, they go off and be alone, they have to kiss, take off clothing and all that. She didn't even wake up next to you, she spent the whole night with him how can you believe that she didn't realize that entire time?
OP mistake or not how the hell can you trust her now? How the hell can you trust your own brother. You're a guy, you know we have to be pretty lucid to perform, when we guys get to the stage of being so drunk that we don't remember we're pretty much useless when it comes to sex, we can't even talk properly at that stage.
Whether you dump her or not is your choice, if you can forgive her then fine. But your brother's girlfriend found them so everyone is going to know exactly what happened, can you really face being seen in public with her again? What happens when your parents find out? I'd ask others who were at the party what they saw, because they might have been fooling around in front of other people after you passed out.
You know even if C-raphael was right and it really was some crazy accident and she really did think he was you, then she's an absolute idiot and you can't trust her not to do something that stupid again. Because honestly OP if this is the case then you have to admit that's probably one of the worst, most idiotic mistakes you ever heard.
Take a few days and don't talk to either of them. Talk to all the people that were at the party and find out what happened. You need to find out what people know.
The truth is though, you can't trust either of them ever again. She's most likely lying about thinking it was you, that is seriously one of the worst lies I've ever heard, now if I'm wrong and that is the case then you still can't trust her. Not only that but everyone is going to find out exactly what they did. Do you really think anyone is going to buy either of their excuses? No and neither should you.
OP if I was asking you this exact question, a stranger on the internet you had no connection to.What would you advise me to do? I think you'd tell me dump her, and break my brothers nose, and you know what? That's exactly what I'd do.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (5 April 2011):
 Did you pass out in your own bed, and where did your brother girlfriend passed out at? I don't know she could be telling you the truth if she had sex with him in the living room, kitchen, restroom but if the action happened in his bedroom I wouldn't buy it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): your brothers girlfriend SURE KNEW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO.
"........while my bro's drama queen was making a scene..." Of course his gf was upset, hurt, betrayed and bloody hell humilaited. Why wasn't you?
Your gf KNEW who she was doing that night.
Trust me.
LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Im sorry but i dont think you should believe either of them. Your girlfriend no matter how drunk should be able to at least tell you apart. I was going out with an identical twin once and no matter how drunk i got i could always tell the difference. And your brother sounds like a piece of work. You should probably hit him once and then hit him once more for good measure. I dont think you should dump her. You just need to have a very serious conversation and voice your feelings but also let her know that you have been considering dumping her.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 Consider that she might actually be telling the truth. She was drunk and if she was drunk enough, small things like a slight difference in length of hair become somewhat unnoticeable to a drunken mind. She started to cry, I do not know your girlfriend so I have no idea whatsoever as to whether or not she is either a very good actress or possessing of adamant morals, which do you believe to be the case? It could actually have been a mistake.
As for your brother, being drunk is no excuse because I assume your girlfriend and his look completely different. I would talk to him about it, in fact, I would advise you to talk to your girlfriend about it as well, privately of course and calmly encourage honesty.
In my honest opinion, from what you have written and assuming my presumptions of alcohol being the culprit for your girlfriend's mistake are correct, I would still trust her, just not when she is drunk and around your brother. Your brother on the other hand is an entirely different matter. He should have known.
I hope that helps.
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