A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well please dont judge me, I made an horrible bad decision, and im hurting trendmendously. Separated from husband over an year ago. Had sex with and ex lover and now Im pregnant. Husband and I were suppose to be working on us and I sliped up bad, It's killing me inside to know this will kill him. I love him. I have a meeting with my pastor this week. Also was on bc pills but mixed with medications I guess failed. I considered abortion but I have fibroids and scar tissue. Do i face up to the consequences and say bye bye to my love and my child's father. Or raise my unborn and the child i have now. Please no hurtful answer for Im already kicking myself in the bottom. Also I havent told the other guy.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): You have to tell your husband. He has a right to know so he can make decisions based on all the information.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (5 April 2011):
 If you're honest about wanting to work on your marriage, then honesty is your only choice.
Seriously though, that's not what you wanted. If it was, you wouldn't have fallen onto someone else's dick. Sex doesn't just happen. If you were willing to have sex with this other person when you were supposed to be working on your marriage, then you don't deserve your marriage. You may feel this is hurtful, but it's simply the truth.
Be honest with everyone and let the chips fall where they do. Work on yourself and focus on your children. Wouldn't your rather exemplify how they should be when they are adults, rather than how they SHOULDN'T be?
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A
male
reader, Mr. Smith +, writes (5 April 2011):
BE HONEST WITH YOUR HUSBAND... it is going to hurt him but he will later thank you for you. Regarding your pregnancy, you should definetly tell your lover and decide TOGETHER what to do. Also keep in mind that your husband can easily obtain custody of your legitimate child since you commited adultry and that is considered fair grounds for a judgeto give him full custody and patenal rights... maybe you should have taken the consequences of your actions before spreading up...but then again that is life and you live on. Remember that this is a hard and difficult situation you got your self in that being said be honest with all involved
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Abortion is not a dirty word.You will Always view this kid as a burden and will come to resent it.Right now my concern is for this kid who will not have a proper life with you.Although u have a medical condition, you can still have an abortion.LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2011):
 well you need to be honest with everyone. Husband, lover and yourself.WHAT do you want? do you want to make your marriage work? Perhaps you still can.Depending on what state you live in Caring Guy may be wrong about who is the legal father. IN THE US there is something called "the lord Mansfield rule" that states that the man a woman is married to at the time of birth is the legal father of the child regardless of who is the bio dad.http://definitions.uslegal.com/l/lord-mansfields-rule/
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 April 2011):
You have no choice but to face up and tell your husband. He must be allowed to make his own decision as to what happens with your marriage. In the world we now live in, it's not even as if you can fake it all, because at some point something would happen to make him think that something is wrong, whether a medical problems arises, or he notices things in the child.
Also, if you do love this man as you claim, then you'll let him make his own decision. You won't trap him or something like that.
As for the other guy, he's legally responsible for the unborn child. Tell him to be ready to be a father.
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