A
male
age
51-59,
*eighton143
writes:DearCupid: My name is Leighton and i am 41 years old. On the 14th of feb my wife and i got into a bit of a problem in our marriage where i took everything for granted and never showed any interest in her needs. Its been a rocky road since then but i have pulled my weight and will continue doing so as long as our marriage holds. Our sex life however has taken a tumble and in the last 2 months we have made love twice where as before then it was 2-3 times a week. She says i have to find that spark again. I have tried everything but to no avail. I need help. I tend to think that she is getting it from somewhere else.I would appreciate any assistance regarding this.Thanks for the web site.RegardsLeighton
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 April 2011):
One thing I have found with women (and I imagine women have found with men), is there is an expectancy that we can all read each other's mind. Your wife was clearly feeling neglected in some way. Since then, you have taken that to heart and have tried very hard to make amends. He response? "You need to find the spark again"What a pointless, useless comment! Not helpful, not insightful. Nothing. The reason you're struggling to find the spark, is because you can't do it alone. She's expecting you to come up with all the answers, yet it was her who had the problem in the first place. What needs to happen is both you AND her should be talking about what went wrong, and she needs to be explaining to you what she is expecting, and what both you and her can do to make it happen. She has given you the most useless piece of information known to man! She's told you she wants spark, but hasn't given you any information on how to get it. No one here could tell you, because we don't know what she's like. Explain to your wife that you love her, and that you understand that she has been feeling neglected. But explain to her that without her help, you're not going to be able to find that spark.
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