A
male
age
36-40,
*k202
writes:So me and my new girlfriend have been together for 6 months. I'm 25 and she's 20. Things were going really well or so I thought...we started having problems when she started talking to guys and giving her phone number to them, usually on the bus (as she says). The thing is these guys don't just want to be friends with her, almost every guy she talks to has a thing for her. One time she didnt tell one of them she was in a relationship and that really upset me, 2 female friends of mine who are like sisters to me told me that is just sketchy to them. My girlfriend says she doesn't want to be mean so she gives out her number to guys she meets on bus. My friends say its ridiculous and that its not hard to say 'no i have a boyfriend.' Well, today I came home from work and so my girlfriend said she was going to hang out with an old friend of hers this weekend (guy). I was cool with her hanging with him but she says "I hope he doesn't plan on doing anything" and I ask knowing what she implied "you mean go out or doing something?" and she said yes to the second guess. So I'm thinking, "he wouldn't be thinking of doing anything with you if he didn't think you were available!" so then I say did you tell him you have a boyfriend and she had the nerve to say "I think he knows." So i'm like "tell him you have a boyfriend or I can't do this!" and she gets all defensive saying I'm controlling and jealous when I've been cool with her having an old friend over before (who she also had a thing with in the past), she would get guys to hang out here with both of us. (only two so far but then she met some guy on the bus who wanted to hang with her/us, you know what I mean.) But I don't see why she needs to talk to these guys and hang with them when she's in a relationship....hell whenever I mention a female friend from work giving me a ride from work or something one time she acted jealous. She gets defensive saying that she did tell the one guy that she had a boyfriend later that day. The problem is that she didn't tell the guy from the start...why wait later in the day just because you're 'afraid of hurting his feelings'? Female friend says that my girlfriend is probably just hanging onto me while she finds something 'better'. And that I should just end it. My girlfriend still acts like a teenager some times and yes I'm not perfect either though none of us are. But you all know that if it was the other way around she'd be upset with me for not telling a girl that I have a girlfriend.
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male
reader, ak202 +, writes (10 April 2011):
ak202 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry didn't mean to enter that twice.
A
male
reader, ak202 +, writes (10 April 2011):
ak202 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah, and today she said that this guy she met on the bus (a month or two ago) was someone she knew before me. so then the argument was about why didn't she say he was a friend instead of saying she talked to some guy on the bus? saying i met some girl on the bus or some guy makes it sound like that person is a random stranger...anyway she agreed not to hang with random guys yet...she still friends with this guy who says that he missed what they had before she met me, yeah she said that she told him she'd never cheat on me and that i was the first guy she truly loved and all that mess. Its like she moved in early on, had me involved with her family, thanksgiving holidays...but the guy issue ruins everything. I guess that's just life. Thanks for the comment brother, everyone else says she could be playing me...I'm hoping to hear from the females on this.
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A
male
reader, ak202 +, writes (10 April 2011):
ak202 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah, and today she said that this guy she met on the bus (a month or two ago) was someone she knew before me. so then the argument was about why didn't she say he was a friend instead of saying she talked to some guy on the bus? saying i met some girl on the bus or some guy makes it sound like that person is a random stranger...anyway she agreed not to hang with random guys yet...she still friends with this guy who says that he missed what they had before she met me, yeah she said that she told him she'd never cheat on me and that i was the first guy she truly loved and all that mess. Its like she moved in early on, had me involved with her family, thanksgiving holidays...but the guy issue ruins everything. I guess that's just life. Thanks for the comment brother, everyone else says she could be playing me...I'm hoping to hear from the females on this.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (9 April 2011):
"My girlfriend says she doesn't want to be mean so she gives out her number to guys she meets on bus."Oh, right. Does she give them money too? She gives her phone number out of charity. I don't know is she is cheating on you or not. I think it's perfectly possible she is cheating you already. But it really doesn't matter because this girl likes to make you feel she is cheating on you. And that's a pretty twisted behaviour. You don't make suffer on purpose, the person you love.Yes, I guess the better thing to do is break up ASAP.
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A
male
reader, ak202 +, writes (9 April 2011):
ak202 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou know I was thinking the same thing, a part of me wants to really wants to let her go the other half is just in denial hoping that I'm wrong. I know she can be passive (she says she has a hard time telling people no and that she just responds quickly out of being nervous, but that's no excuse) and I usually the assertive one in the relationship...but I think you're right. Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 April 2011):
It think your female friends are right. This is sketchy behaviour. There's no problem with her having male friends - she's allowed them like you have those two female friends. But when she's accepting numbers and not making it clear that she's in a relationship, then giving you the double standard treatment, well, that I don't like. I would also say that she does seem immature. You say sometimes that she acts like a teenager - truth is she's barely out of her teens and needs to learn a lot more about life.
Way I see it, you've only been dating 6 months and some major cracks are appearing. You're starting to become insecure because of her behaviour. She doesn't seem to care. She also doesn't seem honest. She also does seem a little immature to me as well. Maybe you should just move on and find someone who's more mature.
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