A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my one year and a half boyfriend who, I’m not gonna lie, was kind of an asshole. The thing is, our relationship was just amazing and super passionate ( when he wasn’t acting like a beeetch ). So when I broke up with him he f***ing freaked out and said I was a pathetic bitch and that I had never loved him even though I had told him I was breaking up because I just couldn’t handle the fact that we were arguing very often. Like I just wanted him to tell me everything would be okay and that he didn’t want me to leave him but no, he just freaked the f**k out. I was just super depressed and this guy, Ricky was there for me all the time. He’s just SO adorable and he treats me right. I love Ricky with all my heart and I’d love to get in a relationship with him, the thing is, I know it might not be as passionate as it was with my ex PLUS I’m obviously still not over Jared (my ex) because he was my first love and this little voice in my head tells me that I should fight for us. So what should I do? Go for a new relationship with Ricky or fight for my ex and I to get back together? Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Aaah...the ol' bad boy vs. nice boy struggle. So you're wondering if you'd be happier with passion, or with a guy who treats you right... Let me tell you something.... The right guy will do BOTH. If you stay with Ricky, you will always regret not having the great passion. If you go back to Jared, you will probably not get the respect you deserve. Now, Ricky may blossom into a deeper passion than you ever had with Jared (maybe not...don't know squat about these guys). But you can be sure Jared is not gonna suddenly become a caring, kind gentleman. He's shown his true colors...and he's trashy at best.I would say do one of 2 things: either stay with Ricky, but tell him you are not 100% into your feelings yet because of the breakup, or go on your own for a while until your head and heart are aligned. Either way, you should probably get over Jared. Great sex or not, he treats you like shit, and trust me...no sex is good enough to put up with arguing and fighting all the time. At the end of the day, respect wins in this case.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): The fella below hit the nail on the head. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 September 2010):
First of all, forget the new guy. You're not over your ex, and it would be very unfair of you to go out with him when you know you can't give him 100% of your attention.
As for your ex, you would be very naive to go back to him. He's clearly not a good man, and there is no way he will suddenly change into a decent guy. He treated you badly, and if you go back to him, for the rest of your life you'll be the doormat of every abuser known to man.
Spend time alone and just work on yourself for now.
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