A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We found each other (you can say) at the same job. We work together constantly side by side almost every day from the time we start work till when we get off and still spend time with other. Our hours of work are from 1am till 11am. By the time we get off work were extremely tired. Also I'm the only female among 20 men in a warehouse. I get along with everyone and thats where my boyfriend comes in the picture. When i first met him I thought "he's the one". He's everything I've been wanting in a man and he loves kids. The only thing he has a major problem with is that I work with all men and that he's very jealous and insecure. I have been told that i have a very strong addicting personality. I've tried many times to convince my boyfriend that he's the only one I want and that he's the only sexy good looking man I want. He accuses me of many things like,..I'm talking to someone else, I go some where else other than where i'm going, and i have too much girl talk with my friends in the office. We fight all the time now and I'm getting sick and tired of it. He also complains about everything I do and he expects things from me that I don't even know about. Its almost like he expects me to know what he wants or what he wants me to say. I don't read minds but I do read eyes. Because of our job he doesn't take me out anywhere, (maybe 7 times since we've met) I don't know his parents, I only met his sister once. I know one of his cousins and he's not one to call home about but he's a bad influence on my boyfriend. By the way Im 9 years older than my boyfriend, were both between 30 and 45 years of age. Theres times when we fight that I'm very harsh. I'm not a person to take any crap from no one and I'll defend myself every way possible. Lately when we do fight it gets to the point that I yell out "break up with me", "find someone younger", " I don't give a ****". Theres times that he has said that he would kill me but to take that serious I don't know. For a guy to complain and expect so much about their girlfriend and always assume the worst knowing that his girlfriend wont jeopardize their relationship, why is it so hard for the guy to understand and so hard to let go.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 September 2010):
There comes a point when you have to accept that this is no longer your problem. And this is the time.
Your boyfriend is suffering from severe insecurity, and that's his problem. He should be dealing with it, and should have dealt with it before he started dating you. He didn't. Instead, he takes it all out on you, he threatens you (seriously), accuses you of things, blames you etc, etc. How much longer do you want to take this? How much longer can you allow him to control you? You don't think he does control you, but he does because you always try to convince him. And now that you're standing up a bit more, he's threatening you more.
You can't make him understand, or let go. Only he can. And he won't. So you need to let go of him and move on. Don't continually waste your time over someone who has no inclination to change.
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