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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have small breasts, and I feel very insecure. Should I get surgery? Men have teased me about it, even an ex said big breasts were better. Even hear on DC I've read guys post that guys do tend to prefer big breasts (even though they don't hate small ones or would turn them down). I feel a bit down about it, because I wish I was a knockout, but it seems in the mind of the collective, a knockout usually has about a D cup. I'm only an A cup. To make it worse, I have wide hips and a small waist, I'm curvy you could say, so big breasts would suit me better, since I'd look like an hourglass. I'm not skinny (although I am slim), and delicate looking like beautiful Keira Knightley or Kate Hudson, or most celebs with a small chest, actually I don't know any celeb who has my body type. I mean, like I said I'm not fat, I'm actually at my perfect weight and toned, but if you look at me from the front, my hips are very wide compared to the rest of my body, and there's nothing to do about it. I feel unproportional.I don't want to be with a guy who prefers big breasts again, it made me feel bad knowing that he preferred something I didn't have (even if he didn't make a big deal out of it, but having heard him say big breasts are "more of a turn on and add to the sexual experience" was indeed very present in my mind, especially regarding sex). But from what I've heard (from men) they all feel more attracted to big breasts. And looking at men's magazines and porn and strip clubs confirm it. Should I get the surgery?I know guys wouldn't turn me down just because of it, but like I said, I'd prefer a guy who was into all my features so I didn't have to worry about that again.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): Hi OP.Sure, advertisers and pornographers push big breasts. But they also think the entire female world is blonde and shaves their body hair. (The more shaving, the more blonde, the further they are on the advertiser -- pornographer spectrum.)In reality, men like the person they love "just the way they are" (to quote the movie).Surgery for fashion can be counter-productive. You run the risk of scarring and hardening and your breasts not producing milk. Worse still, fashion is a fickle thing. You'll be kicking yourself if small natural breasts are the next big thing.So enjoy running without needing to strap things down. And look forward to a few years of trying things on the other side of the fence when you have kids.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): Hi, I'm the OP again...
That's one of the things that (while I know it's negative attention) only proves to me that men prefer big breasts. They always say that women with big breasts don't know if men like them for them or for their breasts, or that men only go after them for sex.
Well, why don't small breasts have that same effect? Are they that unsexy? That's what I don't get... are big breasts seriously that much more sexual? Why can't small breasts attract the same desire for sex in men?
Not that I want to be an object of men's lust... I just find it a bit upsetting that if you have small breasts you don't have that "thing" over men that they might want you just for sex...it's like small breasts are not sexy or something...
If anyone has an answer to this, thanks...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): The real issue is your self confidence, which seems to be a little low. Most women I know who have gotten implants love them and their self-confidence is much higher because of them. Just keep in mind that while you'll feel more confident, you'll also get a lot of attention from men who are only looking because they want sex.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Hi, it's me again, the OP.
I mean I was reading a penis question and it got me thinking, most women say that most of the time being with a huge guy hurts. But when it comes to breast size, I've heard guys say size is irrelevant, but that being with a busty woman adds to the experience, or is an extra, but by no means is it a negative thing like a huge penis can be.
And a female poster raised a very interesting point in that question... that women don't really care much for size since we don't really have "penis magazines". And I figured, well, guys have tons of different "boob magazines2.
So I'm confused, I thought maybe penis size and breast size were the same but apparently they're not...
Do big breasts really are a nice extra, something that adds to the excitement, that makes sex a bit better or more of a turn on?
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male
reader, escribanus  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Look for a guy with small hands jeje.
Outside attributtes can be easily obtained for any man(rubber dolls, hookers, internet pictures...).
The beauty is inside you, a real and valuable woman is beautiful for the ligth of her soul that shines throught her smiling eyes and her sweet and intelligent words.
You can ruin yourself with hundreds os plastic surgeries and won't be happy unless you start loving and accepting yourself. If you decide that you would love the way that a pair of new tits will look on you, or a new haircut, different eyes color... well it is fine only if you do it for yourself. If you keep doing things to satisfy others you will never find happiness because it is impossible to have others happy.
Start accpeting you just like you are, them find real people who loves and accept the real you. If you look for persons who likes the fake version of you, you might find yourself dealing with empty and fake versions of them.
My advice, forget about others and love yourself. Post a picture (I'm curious)be nice, be gentle, be smart, be the beautiful woman who lives inside you.
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female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 I fully understand where you're coming from. I too have small breasts. While my fiance says he loves mine, his claim is that he just simply loves boobs, no matter what size. What gets to me is the zoo mag he buys every wk and the many pictures he saves, mostly of women with large boobs. Alot of them are fake too. Yet i asked if i should get a boob job and he refuses. He says he wouldn't want to touch them as much and that he wouldn't like them as much as what ive got now. I dont understand. Its good enough for his fantasy women etc, why not me? If he prefers to see big breasts then id rather have big breasts. But i dunno, he thinks mine are the best apprently. I guess guys dont go for girls just because of boobs, but how are we smaller sized women meant to feel when big boobs are portrayed everywhere as better? There's not nearly as many naked men shown in media, or mags designed for women to perve, but im sure if there were and the guys had big penis's, there'd be men worried that theirs isn't big enough. The difference (apart from there not really being those things out) is also that there isn't alot you can do to increase penis size, and you cant see it when a guy is clothed. Women you can see their size of breast at one glance. There's still this unfairness that a woman must conform to suit what guys prefer, i dont see any guys changing how big their penis is for a girl. Or anything else for that matter. I love my guy, and the size he is (lol) and he reckons he wouldn't care if i was looking at other men with bigger then him because he knows he doesnt have to compete. I guess i sometimes think i do need to compete, to be the best lookin girl to him. Not just the one he loves due to personality etc etc. Maybe thats why we think boob size matters. He says im beautiful etc, yet has pictures of women who look nothing like me... Honestly, i dont get it. I cant see why boobs attract so much attention. Why they're portrayed as so important. And i honestly do think that there would be a lot more men with insecurites if women had a perve mag like guys do and so on. If big penis's were portrayed as better... Anyway op, if you honestly think surgery will make you more confident, then maybe.. But i dunno, fake boobs just seem so, well ick. Hard plastic things. Alot of guys tell me they dont like the feel of fake ones. So im not sure what they want, big (even if fake) or the size we're given. However i do think you'll find a guy who loves you exactly how you are. Even if he does look at pictures of bigger ones lol.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Annie Lennox. Slender, toned with wide hips and smaller breasts. She's amazing.
Okay, you are being extremely sexist if you think all men think alike. That sounds more like your own insecurities blaming the men for how you feel about your body. I know that it's not easy to live up to the high standards our beauty, image and sex-obsessed society and popular media put on us, but you need to take a huge step back and pay attention.
Dirtball wrote: "If you want a real cross section of what real people find attractive, go to a public place and people watch for a while. Look at the couples you see. You'll see short, tall, big and small. You'll see everything in between. Those are the real people, not the media influenced "beauties." Keep in mind, the purpose of a magazine is to sell. Just because someone is on the cover doesn't mean they are the sexiest person alive, they are the person the marketing department felt would have the biggest draw." He NAILED it there.
You should have surgery if you think it would help you. Do it if you feel lopsided and unfinished somehow. But if you are doing it with the hopes of attracting more men, you are going to then worry about something else in your appearance. You don't need to appeal to every single man out there. No woman can, no woman should even try. That's ridiculous.
My sister was a A cup up until she got breast cancer. Then she was completely flat until her expanders started filling and now she's a comfortable C. Do you think she is concerned about her breasts as sex magnets? NO!!! She is NOT!! She is concerned about her health and well-being.
You need to focus on your health and well-being. If the benefits of having breast implants outweigh the real risks for YOU as an individual, then go ahead and get them. If you think that by having them, you will magically be cured of your insecurities, well, I hate to tell you that you will be mistaken.
Breasts are just a part of you as a whole human being. Your nose, your eyes, your hair your legs your this body part your that body part, they all make up your physical presence. What is vastly more important is your mental health--work on that self-esteem for a bit and stop believing everything Madison Avenue is trying to sell you!
My current cure-all is yoga. Go to a couple of classes and see how different the body types are. And you know what? They are all beautiful, everyone. Everyone has perfection inside them... it just needs to be rediscovered by you.
Good luck.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 September 2010):
 "But sexually speaking, if you look, I don't know, at Maxim, Playboy or (I notice you're from the UK) Zoo, Nuts, you will notice a trend."
By the tone of the rest of your post, I'm going to assume this was you OP. I just want to say something about this comment, you're looking in the wrong places. Media has an image that they push. I haven't looked at Playboy in years. The reason is that it went from natural girls to these fake plastic "beauties." Maxim is the same, they just have clothes on. They also focus more on celebrities. If you look at "supermodels" they all have very small breasts with a few exceptions.
If you want a real cross section of what real people find attractive, go to a public place and people watch for a while. Look at the couples you see. You'll see short, tall, big and small. You'll see everything in between. Those are the real people, not the media influenced "beauties." Keep in mind, the purpose of a magazine is to sell. Just because someone is on the cover doesn't mean they are the sexiest person alive, they are the person the marketing department felt would have the biggest draw.
Anyway, I got sidetracked into a rant. I apologize. Back to your issue. There are a lot of guys who like big breasts. That's undeniable. The thing is that there are just as many that don't care or prefer smaller breasts. Your breast size doesn't define who you are, so don't let it. Be the beautiful girl you are and someone who appreciates that will come around.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Awwww, trancedrhythmear, you men are not idiots! You men may make us confused sometimes (as we do to you!) but in no way are you idiots! Men definitely make the world better for us women, you're to be cherished! =)
So don't call men idiots, lol, it's most definitely not true!!
- OP
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 You know why you shouldn't get surgery?
Because you're insecure.
If you get implants, you'll be happy until you find something else that you think is wrong with you, and then you'll try and 'fix' that, and once again you'll be happy, until you find something ELSE. You see where i'm going with this?
If you got implants, you wouldn't be doing it for you, you'd be doing it so guys found you more attractive.
Would you rather have a guy who is into your natural features, or your artifical features?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 September 2010):
I don't look at Zoo, Nuts and all that. Grew out of it by 16 when I realized real women were much better. Have faith in men a bit more. We don't all slobber over big breasts. We really don't.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): If as man doesnt like your body for what it is, then Id say forget him. If he cant accept the fact God made you the way he did, he is showing your body disrespect by not accepting and telling you you have a look a certain way to be accepted. If a man doesnt respect your body, how can he respect himself and you? The open society pressure to look a certain way has drastically increased which the use of celebrities and even, sadly, pornography on ideals of what a woman should look like.
On my end, I have no preference, cause Im an EOE (Equal Opportunity Employer) :)...In fact, I dated a girl with a B cup for 5.5 years. She was probably an A and wore a B bra but I told her, I didnt care. She'd buy push up bras and that was def sexy esp with her thin figure, but she used what she had. She never changed anything or conformed to the superficial pressure. Some guy enjoys your body for what it is and that is something every woman should be embraced for by us idiot men. best to you :)
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Awwwwww! See? These are two great guys and they are sincerely telling you the truth - and I believe them!!!
Guys may go a bit gaga over a big pair of breasts, but really, they don't prefer them! The right guy will want you - the whole package, and whatever size breasts that come with you!!! Most guys will always say personality is what they do look for in their "ideal" woman, even if looks are what attracts them initially, but surgery is a pretty drastic way to alter your body to draw more attention to yourself. And if just your boobs are drawing the attention, your probably going to attract the wrong kind of guy, one who is just out for sex (ask any large-breasted friend, it can really be detrimental when you are trying to weed out the losers).
The only other thing I can recommend is that you should go to a serious lingerie shop and get properly fitted AND get the women there to show you how to use those "chicken fillet" breast lifts - they are natural looking and feeling; you wear them under your boob so it pushes your natural cleavage up and out and gives you about a cup size. Also, breast do continue to grow a bit with age, weight and childbirth. I was a B cup in my early twenties, I'm a D cup in my old age; thank God I didn't ever consider implants or I'd be an F by now...
Anyways, I'd like to think that God has a plan and he's made us pretty much perfect the way we were meant to be. I'm sure your special someone will think so too. XXX
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female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Surgery is something that you would have to think very hard about. It costs a lot of money and the operations don't always go as planned (i.e. you may feel a lot worse about your breasts than you already do).
Get some push up bras if you think that'll make you feel a little better. They'll make your breasts look a little fuller without having to go through surgery, and it's a lot cheaper as well.
Although some guys may say that they prefer large breasts, I think most would prefer to have someone who has small breasts that are real than ones that are fake.
I have sent this link to a few other posters on here before that felt insecure about there breasts:
http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/galleries/breast-gallery/
It's a gallery of pictures of breasts from other women to show that everyone has a different size and shape and that it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
I hope this helps. And whatever you decide to do, do it because you want to, not for anyone else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): I understand what you mean, CaringGuy, I know guys do go for personality first, and that it's personality and other factors that will keep a man interested and make him fall in love.
But sexually speaking, if you look, I don't know, at Maxim, Playboy or (I notice you're from the UK) Zoo, Nuts, you will notice a trend. Women have enormous breasts. There's not much variety. I think this speaks a lot about men's tastes in general, or else, wouldn't they use a wider variety of women? And sure, sometimes they have brunettes, or blondes, or redheads, dark eyes or blue eyes, but generally, their proportions stay the same. Most of them have large breasts.
There's this website, AskMen, and if you look at the galleries, most of the women have big breasts. Like women's magazines have skinny women, mens magazines have slender women (not so skinny, which is good) but with big breasts.
I don't know. I know I was generalizing, but it's only from what I see and have heard from guy friends. Also, there's a collective notion in society that bigger is better (when it comes to breasts), and this has to come from somewhere. There has to be a reason why small breasts are most of the time perceived as less sexual or arousing (hence why you hear a lot of jokes about small breasts in comedies or movies). I mean, it's not often that you hear positive comments about small breasts in TV, and while I know TV is not real and all that, these notions have to come from somewhere, I don't think it's all very random. There has to be a reason for this...
Sigh...
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female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Just think, they are small now, but when one day when you are pregnant, they will grow to full size.
You want a guy who wants and loves you for you. You will find him one day. Dont change yourself for a few bad men you have picked in your life.
Small breasted women just mean you are thinner, as breast tbh are like stored fat. You could think about eating more fatty foods but i think in the long run its a bad desision.
I suggest waiting for a man who loves you for everything you are. You may feel this to take a while, but as soon as a guy says they like bigger breasted women, get the hell outta that relationship!
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male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (20 September 2010):
As usual, CaringGuy hits it right on the head!
Listen to him, he's right!
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 September 2010):
The problem with all this surgery stuff, is it doesn't really solve the problem. Because if you had surgery, you'd then worry whether a guy wanted you just for your breasts.
The truth is, porn magazines and strip clubs are not the best places for women to understand men. I think women underestimate men, and truly believe that all we care about is image. That's not true. Guys really do care about personality, and we don't get enough credit for it.
You've made a sweeping generalization of men. Sure, there are some who like big breasts. There are also men who like small breasts, or tall girls, or shorter girls. The list is utterly endless.
You need confidence more than anything, not surgery. If you're underconfident, no matter how much surgery you get, you'll always feel insecure, and you'll always pick the wrong guy. Trust in that body of yours. You'll find the right guy.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 September 2010):
I always recommend against surgery. I prefer natural and small to big and fake any day of the week! I actually like smaller breasts. Big breasts are ok too, but smaller ones tend to stay perky much longer. They are still fun to play with and they come with the wonderful package that is you. Besides, I'm more of an "ass man" anyway. Give me a nice round booty and BA DOW, the freaking cave man comes out.
To me, A or B cups are very sexy. Others can be very sexy too.
When it comes to surgery, you should do it for nobody other than yourself. If you feel that it will help with your self confidence, or self esteem, then it may be worth considering. I'm just here to tell you that there are guys who appreciate girls no matter what their breast size is. PM me if you want my number. ;-)
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