A
male
age
51-59,
*ale43
writes:i am in love with a woman i met last november on a dating site and just have a problem about something in her past that bothers me and wondered if im just being silly?so we met and i took her out to dinner and she was incredible rite from the start.no woman had ever made me feel so attracted before and intimidated at the same time so i was always the perfect gentleman towards her.she is a 4th grade teacher and had been recently divorced from a really bad mariage.comes from a good family and presented herself as one of real hi standards and i knew that she wasnt out to play games and wanted a long term relationship.so we dated as friends and got to know each other and texted all the time while she went away for xmas with her parents up north.so when she got back i gave her a xmas present just some small earings and we made plans for new years eve to go out to dinner and we did and afterwards i called it a nite and just was a total gentleman at all times.so the next weekend i text her that i really feel strongly for her and she just replied that " she appreciated everything but that she wasnt ready for this"..i was kinda hurt and didnt know what i had done wrong as i felt everything was so good and we were really building towards something good.so any how come late feburary she text me how am i doin and could we still be friends?so of course we become friends again and start going out places like the zoo,the everglades,nascar race at daytona,kennedy space center and staying in hotels and we become the best of friends and lovers and find that we have everything in common and we even finish each others sentences.so moving on to august we have a long talk about how we met and all and out it comes.at the time i met her in november she was seeing a married man just as a fuck buddy that she met online that was just looking for a piece of ass and she went for it.and this was happening on regular occurences during november thru early febuary and she even gave him a key to her house.this was a guy she had never met before and just wanted her to have sex with him and talk dirty.this woman told me all of this cause i asked and yes i do have a past also and it wasnt so good either.i was married 18 years to a woman that just had to screw everybody she met and even had a kid with one that i raised as my own.so she tells me that it was a big mistake and that everyone makes them and i should just let it go cause it didnt mean anything it was just a fuck buddy thing and she had never done anything like that in her life which i know to be true.it doesnt bother me that she had sex before just that was with a married guy and she told me of 2 other guys that she was seeing after her divorce but they were single and one was even 70 years old!there was never any sex in her previous marriage and alot of mental abuse from her ex.so she was really starved for attention and i can understand a woman wanting sex and i know that it was her decision to do that and i cant blame her for wanting sex.just the married guy thing really gets to me and now im ready to ask her to marry me and we have even talked about starting a family as she has always wanted a child and im ready to have one that actually involves planning it this time.she has only been with 6 men before me which is a huge change from some of the woman ive been with before and she honestly loves me and says im the best thing thats ever happened to her.so how does this one thing affect me so strongly and why do i keep dwelling on it.am i just being stupid or is it just love?any advice would be great and thanks.........
View related questions:
divorce, fuck buddy, her ex, her past, married man, met online, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Concealing your past or present sexual activities from your present or future partner = untrustworthy.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 September 2010):
I don't think this is a woman you can trust. For several reasons.
First of all, when she was meeting you, she was seeing a married man. That means that there was some deception on her part towards you. She claimed she was out for a long term relationship and all that, yet was seeing a married man? So in other words she lied to you. That's not a good sign.
Secondly, the married man is a problem. This woman had no problem seeing a married man, giving him a key and effectively wrecking someone else's marriage. You know how that feels, since your wife did it to you. Would you want another woman who thought so lowly of marriage, and had so little respect for others? Another bad sign.
Thirdly, I don't like the time frame of all this. At all. She went out with you and the married man. Then she dumped you. Then she came back and has wormed her way back into your life, claiming that 'everyone makes mistakes and you should just accept it.' I'm concerned that she's using you as a free ride, and that she just came back because the married man fling ended.
Fourthly, no disrespect, but your choice in women leads me to suspect that you wind up with seriously flawed women. you've already had one wife you've mentioned who was bad. Why make it two or more? Be careful of your judgement.
Fifthly, you claim to know things that are 'true' about her, like her having six lover, like her not having seen married men before and never having done it before. But it's those people you need to be wary of!
There's a big list here, and some very good reasons not to bother with her. I just don't see this lasting. I think your asking to marry her far too quickly, when you can't really trust her. She clearly has no respect for marriage. She has no problem lying. She has no problem in dumping you, then suddenly coming back.
Think very carefully about this woman. I'm not sure she's all that great.
...............................
|
